Jump to content

Flexi's 2010 Reviews

  • entries
  • comments
  • views

May 2010 - Ladies for Gentlemen (Emma English) - Emma v Flexi





After going MIA for a spell, Emma is back and taking on all comers at The LFG. My sources tell me she's in great form.


The Venue




The Booking

The booking was for one hour for $230 plus a tick on the FF card.


Player Profile



25 year old Emma has been described many times before but for the newbies and the forgetful, she is a touch under 160cm tall. She wears a size 12 jersey. Her notable team mates include a couple of huge forwards known as Lemma and Remma, and a full back that's tighter than Matthew Scarlett. Emma has medium length dark hair and lil-emma's sports the Gary Ablett look. Being from the mother country, she has a soccer background but she's been focusing her training on the local game and it's paying dividends.


DFK, BJ, HJ, TM, MP, easy going, broad minded, forthright, friendly



Flexi's comfortable in any position. Even though he modestly denies it, those who know him reckon he's a real forward flanker. With SSOG status, his specialty has been his punting accuracy. Traditionally a left footer, Flexi isn't too bad on the right when the need arises.


DFK, DATY, FIP, AL, MP, just plain weird


The Objective

The immovable object meets the irresistible force. If Emma could get Flexi over the line more than once, she would win. If Flexi could resist her considerable talents and hold the score to less than two goals, he would win. It was a tough one for both sides. The rules were agreed in advance and arrangements made. Most of the tipsters were on Flexi but the odds were short.


The Match Report

The night was cold but there was the scent of something special in the air. The atmosphere was tense, both teams were there to play. Both were very competitive and it had become a personal battle of the flesh.


The action kicked off at 6:00pm on the knocker. Emma won the toss and had no hesitation in going to the member's end. From the first bounce it was on for young and old. With youth on her side and superior ball handling skills, this early draft pick had soon gained the ascendency.


Emma was on fire, she couldn't do anything wrong. She spent the first part of the match just toying with her older opponent who could do nothing but take what ever she dished up. Feeling the pressure in the second, Flexi took a good grab on the flank, straightened up and sent it deep into the danger zone. Gathering skillfully lil-flexi steadied and slotted it on the full. The house erupted. Emma didn't get ahead of herself despite being ahead on the score board, she knew she was in for a battle and Flexi was growing in confidence that he wouldn't be troubling the scorer again any time soon.


After snagging his first, lil-flexi struggled badly during the remainder of the second quarter, at one stage he couldn't even stand up. With some skilful massage to lil-flexi and the boys during the long break, it was game on again.


Both teams were posturing at the start of the third, Flexi had a renewed confidence and started to flirt with form. Switching the play, Flexi moved across Emma's last line of defense and started some toying of his own, deep in the back line. Sensing an opening up the field, Flexi switched again as he saw some movement in the corridor. Emma was up against it and just had to hope Flexi would burn himself out as he dished out some lip to the huge forwards Lemma and Remma.


Flexi didn't have the stamina of his younger opponent and as he stopped adjacent to Remma to suck it in, Emma stepped it up a gear. Their eyes were locked as the speedy on-baller let fly with some seriously effective mouthing off which had the physical and psychological effect she'd hoped for. It almost put the game beyond reach of the tired flanker. Cleverly though, just as lil-flexi was about to will through a long, wobbly goal from the wing, Flexi overstepped the boundary. A stern rebuff caused a momentary lapse in concentration putting the game back in the balance.


It was deep in the final quarter and both teams had a sniff. Flexi hugged the back line waiting for something to present up forward. Slipping the Flexi tackle, Emma mounted one last foray into the mid-field. This time, with her sizzling pace, she caught lil-flexi napping. With deft hand-mouth coordination and a well executed double teaming, she snatched a well earned victory right on the hooter.


News Flash

Despite muscle soreness and severe fatigue putting the rest of his week in doubt, Flexi has agreed to a rematch.


When asked about his team's performance, he said "Yeh, nah the boys did well, we were just out classed by a better team on the day. Look, lil-flexi knows when he's licked. He acted like a real prick and it cost us the points. We're just gunna take it one punt at a time. Mate don't worry we'll return to form. Emma won't find us such an easy touch up next round."


When asked about Emma, he said "Yeh, nah, she's great, a real pro. Look, I'm not sure she'll be here in September. Probably make the crowds happy if she was. She's skillful and hard at it. You can't help but like the way she goes about her business. She's a bloody awesome root too. Shit! Sorry! Can I say that?"


Recommended Comments

There are no comments to display.

  • Create New...