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Friday the 13th No. 21 Jason Kills PP.


HellsBelle

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As remembered by me!

 

 

It was last Summer as I remember, and due to the hotel discrimination issue, Australia's punting world was at a standstill.

Punter Planet had nothing to do so we decided to become counsellors at an American Summer Camp. We flew to the States with the help of AndyJ's frequent flyer miles and after a short, yet bumpy ride in a decked out minibus, we arrived at a small town in the woods.

We went to see the appropriate people to get directions and the run down on how to be counsellors, stopped in at the towns only small news agency/milkbar/bottle shop, to get our certificates laminated and other various supplies then headed deep into the woods to find the camp. We were told it would only be us there for the first two nights, as the kids were still at school and would come down for the start of the holidays.

The camp was an old one, log cabins, wood fires, a bunker full of tinned beans and trail mix, surrounded by forest, Red Hat didn't like it from the start.

"There's something strange about this place guys," he told us when we got there.

"Don't be such a ball sucker, Red" retorted Mephisto with his usual charming wit.

"The whole camp's ours for the next two nights, lets get wasted, listen to Metallica and look for redneck girls!" exclaimed RuPeePee, (all he ever thinks about is girls you see), so we all thought this was a marvellous idea and proceeded to get wasted and look for redneck girls. (Kelly Raines and I acted as responsible chaperons, sipping long island iced teas, and chatting about shoes) After the lads found some local redneck girls and were told to, quote;

"Fuck off you sick bastards, we don't care how much money you have or how cool your avatar is, don't you dare come near us." we decided it would be wisest to head back to camp and just get loaded.

 

As we sat around the Recreation room playing pool and listening to punk rock, having a grand old time, the lights went out.

"Must be the Generator" said RuPeePee "I'll go out and see, where's the flashlight?"

I handed him the ancient yellow torch and watched him disappear through the front door.

 

"Where's Red Hat?" I asked.

"He just went to have a shower," said Mephisto.

 

Meanwhile, a storm had blown in, the rain poured down, and a freak crack of lighting struck Jasons body that lay on the bottom of the camps once pristine lake, awakening him, to engage in another night of murder, (I know it already happened in number 7 or whatever).

He took out RuPeePee first as he was fucking around in the shed with the generator.

"I love Kylie Minogue!" were his supposed last words before the axe came down and killed him.

Back in the cabins, Red Hat was delicately undressing for a nice warm shower, when he heard banging on the window "Must be the wind," he murmured as he stepped lightly into the steamy water, singling merrily to himself (to the tune of La Kooka Racha) "I am a technical anal boy, technical anal boy, anal boy I am."

All of a sudden the shower curtain swung open, Red Hat shielded his breasts with his arms and let out a shrill squeal, but Jason easily overcame Red Hat and left him lying dead,mangled and bloodied on the floor.

 

The rest of us were beginning to wonder what was keeping RuPeePee and why Red Hat's shower was taking so long, when through the door burst Jason wielding a chainsaw, Kelly Raines actually recalls hearing Mephistos underwear filling as he shit himself, but he denies it.

 

 

Mephisto got mashed by the chainsaw and died and Kelly and I actually put up somewhat of a fight, but ultimately we were no match for the shotgun he had in the back of his pants, we both got wasted and died.

As I lay there dying on the floor, trying in vain to put my innards back into the large bloody cavity that had been left in my abdomen, all I can really remember was AndyJ, storming through the door with a headband on and some sort of sick, fuck off machine gun and wasting Jason.

Ah memories, good thing we all survived to tell the tale.

 

 

The end.

14 Comments


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laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif That's hilarious!!!! My cheeks are hurting now..... laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif

 

And what's wrong with Kylie Minogue........ dry.gifph34r.gif

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I see a franchise bigger than Ben Hur coming out of this! :D Can I be in the first sequel? PLEEEAAASSSEEE?!

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You most certainly can RW.

 

 

You just keep telling yourself that Mephy. :lol:

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I've got massively good hearing Mephy... LOL...

Hilarious HB!!! Thanks...

xxxxxxxxx

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hahahaa I love this. I am a huge FT13 fan (well, horror movies in general), so its funny to read it with PP characters.

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I did not shit my pants.......seriously!!!

 

 

Well Mephy what was that running down your leg :o

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Love it HellsBells - it reminds me how much i miss you around here :)

 

 

Fair call that if ever i was in the plot of a horror movie i'd on the body count early...and I love the allusion to psycho (but technical anal boy?)

 

 

Rup's last words - that's gold!

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I'm upset that Hannah didn't make an appearance being the total shit stirrer that she is. <_<

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