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Sex Industry & Being Emotionally Unavailable


FemmeBot

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Does Seeing sex workers on a regular basis make you a emotionally Unavailable person?

 

Does Being a sex worker make you an emotionally unavailable person??

 

A few days ago I was reading up on emotionally unavailable people. I ticked every single one of the boxes and chateristics of an emotionally unavailble person.

 

- I don't plan on ever getting married, settling down and having kids.

- The last time i had sex without money being exchanged was Yrs ago.

- The last time i went out on a "date" without money exchanged was also Yrs ago.

- I have no interest in a relationship and no interest in sex outside the punter/WL relationship.

- The idea of meeting a guys parents, saying i love you and all that all make me cringe.

- I am a highly independant person and absoloutely hate relying on others for anything. Even when i need help. I normally never ask for it Unless i have no other choice.

 

It's made me think. Is it because i've been a sex worker for so long that I am like this?

 

As a sex worker we learn how to seperate our emotions from physical intimacy. We also learn to be able to control our feelings and not fall for every Nice regular punter we see.

 

One of my regulars is an attractive Single Mid 30's successful man who is also a very nice funny guy. He has been my regular for aprox 3 years and he sees me either weekly or fortnightly. I am suprised and shocked that i have no interest in seeing him outside. He meets what i look for in a guy. He is older, Tick. Good looking. Tick, Successful, Tick, Polite, Tick, Funny. Tick.

 

If i wasn't in the sex industry. Would i have fallen for that particular regular?

 

This industry has also opened my eyes to the amount of Married men who see sex workers. I offer a more GFE so most of the times the guys i see tell me about their lives. How their marriages and home life is like. Most of the stories i hear is that Marriage sucks. lol

 

Is hearing all the bad stories about marriage life making me not want to settle down?? I don't know.

 

So i guess this blog entry is about me trying to figure out if being a sex worker has affected me to be an emotionally unavailable person??

 

On the flip side. Do punters seeing sex workers also become emotionally unavailable? They can just rely on no strings attached sex from a sex worker and get anything they need sexually without any emotions.

 

Are other sex workers like me too?

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I am a little different lol.

I have a very close person (Who I dont call a boyfriend for obvious reasons) and I plan on settling down with him and having kids.... The only thing that has me thinking is about how I'm going to keep working IF we get married, and what about when i'm pregnant?

I love my job, don't get me wrong but surely I cant do it forever! :unsure:

 

But I can totally understand why you feel this way. Sometimes I never feel like sex outside of work because It loses meaning for me and where the fucks my money?! Except with this particular boy that I speak of :rolleyes:

 

Keep bloggin! :ph34r:

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You dont want ur regular cause its easy and convenient the way u have it now, u get to see him reguarly without the issues a normal relationship deals with in the real world, my bet would be ur interest in him would improve if he became a bit less predictable, say if he disappears for a year while hes in a relationship then how do u think u would feel?

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I'm an emotionally available person, sex work has never changed that.

 

Stories of how fucked up a persons marriage is or how much they hate their life but can't leave their partners does little to put me off. I just tell myself (naively) that it won't be me.

 

I actively have sex "for free" and have romantic interests in my personal life. Sex work doesn't dull my feelings/sexuality but heightens it I find.

 

Keep in touch with reality.

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What an intirley intriguing topic.

 

As a punter I enjoy my relationship time with sex workers on a very different basis than the way I conduct myself in "normal" life. I found a way years ago of successfully compartmentalising my life into a number of differing personalities. I know it sounds weired and schizoid/ MPdisorder-ish but it's been a truly succesful way of enjoying the multiple facets of life without allowing the attributes of one to overlap into the other. For example -

I'm a moderately succesful businessman in an emotionally brutal industry. This doesn't align with my role as a loving husband and caring father of three children. In this role i need to be emotionally unavailable.

As a loving husband and father to my children, my proclivities as a punter are a complete mismatch. But my behaviour in this role is entirely emotionally connected.

As a punter who plays on the very wild side of the industry I am certainly emotionally connected with the WL at the time (if not it just wouldn't be fun) but need to discard that emotional availability immediately on leaving her place.

I'm also involved heavily in motorsport - a complete blokes world if ever there was - no room for emotional sensitivity in that game but heaps of emotional charge and tension.

 

I guess the point in this is that as an individual, I'm many people, succesfully connecting and diconnecting one personality/ role from another as & when required. I hear too much these days of people describing themselves as a (whatever) and thinking they've got to live that personality from cradle to grave; my experience is that life's just not like that. We're all a complete mix of personalities; I think it's how we deal with the mix which allows us (or not) to be emotionally available.

I know artists and musicians who are far from emotionally sensitive or available when it comes to money;

I know industrialists and financiers who write love poems when they're away from their offices;

I know a carer at a home for dementia sufferers whose a champion amateur boxer.

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Hi, I'm probably quite similar in terms of emotional detachment. I think it's a bit of a chicken-and-egg syndrome, am I emotionally detached because I'm a sex worker, or am I a sex worker because I'm emotionally detached?? I think it's probably a bit of both..

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I have thought about this in recent times. I was married but divorced a couple of years ago. When I knew my marriage was at an unrepairable stage, I started to visit a WL. We separated not long after and I spent a good 2 years as a single bloke visiting WLs on a regular basis. It worked for me as I had no interest in emotional attachment. I had 2 regular WLs and don't get me wrong, I was very fond of them and really enjoyed their company in and out of the bedroom.

Late 2010 both of my regulars retired and I never found suitable replacements, so in 2011 I ceased to see any. Mid year I met a woman and started a relationship with her, but could not get in to the relationship emotionally and was told by her that I was not letting her in. We eventually broke up and this was one of the main reasons. Since then I have seen a few WLs again.

I'm don't know if the reasons were from seeing WLs or the breakdown of my marriage, probably a combination of both. I guess that's why some guys like the "friends with benefits" relationship.

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Never cringe at the thought of saying "I love u"

All have their own interpretation of love, and never be fearful of marriage , coz I always thought as a youngster that, "that would never happen to me (divorce) and that I would always be happy in marriage"- and I was!!

N so were my parents for 40 years n I thought they would always be happy in marriage.

 

Well, my opinion is that give something a go!!

Having played at an elite level of sport, in fact any sport person wd say, "if you run onto the ground worrying about will you or will you not break a limb today, then chances are you will cop an injury n not focus on the task at hand."

 

I always thought, well, no one is nor can force me to be married to someone if our relationship resulted in an emotionless and cold state.

That's when I reeled in my emotions and placed them behind my cancerian shell, and became obstinate.

 

I have learnt from women that many worry if the guy does genuinely love them, and until they are convinced that is so, many of my female acquaintances mention similar concerns- or excuses?

 

You might meet great inlaws, and marry OR live with a guy who always treats you like a princess etc etc

 

However, marriage and love require each to see situations from the others point of view - compromise and sacrifice of certain things may be needed.

 

In essence, give something a go, and if it doesn't work out, well then it doesn't work out! No one is forcing you to be a part of something you don't like.

 

 

 

 

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