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A Rhyming Slang Review – What The Fuck



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G'Day Punters and The Punted


I didn't want to post this on the main forum as it's a bit silly, I just thought someone might get a smile or two. I prepared it when I was in a very relaxed mood and intended it only for my blog, so here it is.


I'm not sure how much the younger people and people who are not of Anglo background know of the concept of rhyming slang. Arthur Daly in the Brutish TV show "Minder" was a well-known exponent. The idea is to use a pair of words or a short phrase that rhymes to replace the word in question.


Eg. Replace "sauce" with "dead horse" :). See, simple!


Sometimes the more common phrases are shortened and the rhyming is deliberately lost.


Eg. Replace "fuck" with "Friar Tuck" which becomes just "Friar". Heheha! :) :)


I don't know why we do it, it's kind of a dying Cockney Pommy / Aussie cultural thing I guess. Anyway here it is, for what it's worth.


BTW this is purely fictional and no offense is intended.





After seeing her hot photos on PP I decided I wanted a piece of that cute little bottle and glass. After a couple of PMs, I called her on the dog to enquire about her services. She was good to go with all my suggestions including natural Wilberforce Worrell so I asked her the curry and rice. "Five pineapples for the hour" she replied. I said "no Dalai Lamas, can you be here at 7pm Wednesday?"


I was feeling very mulligatawny but also quite nervous on the night, so me and a couple of chinas had a few Richard Geres at the rubity beforehand but I had to make sure not to get Schindler's and wind up with brewers.


It was a damp evening and taxis were scarce so she hopped on a bread an jam. She arrived right on time and looked quite lovely, I tell you no porkies. I asked her to just stand where she was while I had a thorough Captain. I wish my chinas could see me now. Perhaps I could get a couple of happy snaps so the lads could have an optic later when we caught up for a dastardly deed. I handed her the oxfords in an envelope which she put straight into her grey nurse.


We moved closer and she kissed me on the thighs and hips. Her kisses were great with lots tongue and a good amount of Lady Godiva. She unzipped my Lady Di and gently slid down the Internet browsers of my bag of fruit, dropped me Reg Grundies and pulled out the Joe and gave it a gentle septic. As she continued the slow, teasing uncle, I slid my hand up her Porgy and Bess to feel her generous Brad Pitts.


I slowly removed her outer garments as we resumed kissing then I removed her black lacy panties to revealed a most lovely Carmichael. It was smooth and soft with pouting lips, she had obviously just given it a thorough Dad n'.


Being a bloke with a penchant for plates o' meat, I moved down her long, shapely bacon n' eggs for some sloppy Dorothy Dix on her cute little sickles and hoes returning to her Carmichael for some Warren Beatty.


I could wait no longer so I mounted her to give her a good Friaring in my favourite position of porcelain dish with bacon n' eggs together.


All of a sudden she pushed me off and said she hadn't yet fulfilled our agreement regarding natural Wilberforce. "Ok by me" I said as I watched her pull off the Darlinghurst scrubber. The BJ felt great, as I squeezed and fondled her Tijuana but I couldn't get over the line and she felt bad. I bore her no Buckingham Palace as these things happen as a man gets braver and bolder. I felt like a bit of a Bob Hope but she was a determined young professional and would not capitulate. She was squeezing my Albert Halls with one hand and my hickory with the other while she used a gentle sucking motion on the passionfruit pip. Her persistence paid off and my hickory shot a frog into her north.


All too soon the might and power was up. We said our Shermans, she kissed me goodbye and returned home Molly on the bread.


In summary, it was a very pleasant Wellington boot with a hot little one time looker.


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