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The real cost of sex


S.J.T

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The time-old defence that "people pay for sex somehow" has probably a lot more meaning than people might think. It goes beyond the literal meanings (ie. having to buy your partner gifts, food, alcohol etc) and the metaphorical (the emotional costs, support etc) and I think goes somewhat to a deeper level. There are other metaphorical costs involved in a sexual liaison, although these are somewhat less apparent.

 

The one that springs to mind first is that of having a one-nighter with an attractive girl or having a sex-buddy. Although this is generalising here, when it comes to a sexual encounter with an attractive girl, the price is that you must be of a sufficient attractiveness to meet her needs (although the effects of alcohol somewhat drop this price in exchange for the price of getting her drunk enough). This is not really a price that one can "save up" for, you're either attractive enough for her, or you're not. So you go for someone less attractive for an intimate encounter, the price? The perceived "lowered standards" needed (or the cost of more alcohol for yourself!)

 

Of course, then when moving into a relationship, that increases the cost substantially for the sex, and many people pretend to accept the cost in order to satisfy their sexual needs, only to default on their payment when the relationship aspects are called upon by the girl. The ultimate price for this kind of sex? The girl hates you for using them and has a re-enforced perception that all men are just after sex.

 

Then of course, there are moral costs too. These come in all forms such as taking advantage of someone (intentionally or not), starting a relationship for the wrong reasons, getting involved with someone you don't want to on the whim of an urge, the list goes on really. So in the end, the idea of paying a W/L is quite simply taking all those hidden metaphorical costs and transferring them into one main literal cost. It removes the physical attractiveness costs, the emotional costs, the relationship costs, certainly the alcohol and moral costs (although others would debate the last one) and transforms it all into one up-front payment. But for people who are metaphorically poor in their abilities in those areas, the cost of a W/L probably a lot cheaper and certainly less costly on their wellbeing in the long-term.

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Nicely written. I agree with this. What i don't get is that in some countries and places. it is illegal to be a sex worker and illegal to see a WL but in those same countries it's perfectly OK and acceptable for men to wine and dine their girlfriends and buy their girlfriends gifts and all that. in the end it's the same. You are still paying for sex. In this day and age it is highly unlikely for any man to wine and dine and give gifts to their girlfriends without having anything sexual in return. The main difference is often the emotional drama that comes along with other types of relationships.

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Exactly! Socially its more acceptable to get a girl drunk and take her home. Although many question it morally, it still is regarded as a more acceptable choice.

I both agree and disagree with one thing though. Society is pushing the notion that people should not have to be expected to return any favour or gift. You can spend huge amounts on a girl but there is no guarantee that it will go anywhere, quite the opposite nowadays, which is leading to a culture where people will use someone else for free drinks/presents/dinner without any return. Now don't get me wrong, if a girl doesn't want to be with someone that way then that is their fair choice, but if they didn't feel that way to begin with, neither should they take advantage of someone else's feelings for a free ride. However as a result of this, people (or particularly, men) are far more careful about spending money and time on women unless they are more assured of reciprocated feelings/sexual benefit. This is kind of a whole different argument, but leads into this one in terms of cost/benefit.

 

Still, that said, I would still view seeing a W/L as a high-cost solution, but I view it as any other cost-consolidating effort, you pay a bit extra for the convenience of it.

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Gabrielle Káigh

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I disagree with this - men for me don't need to be as attractive, they need personality and a brain - for me that's the biggest turn on.

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well, I did say it was generalising somewhat, there are exceptions naturally.

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Lol, if ego and brains turn you on, you should go to a nerd computer-game party sometime :-P For all their lack of ego in day-to-day living, get a bunch of nerds behind computers and suddenly there's more testosterone and ego than at a highschool football match...

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