One of the reasons I loved Two and a Half men was because of Charlie's up-front attitude about seeing working girls (albeit with that ever-so-American phrase "hookers"). Despite the characters success with women without needing to pay, he still had no objections to forking some cash out and had even less objections about people knowing. As much as Charlie is hardly a role-model when it comes to how to treat the ladies, I admire the characters complete honestly about paying for sex, not giving a damn about it and how those around him just have to accept it.
Its one of those things I guess you have to be either open and up-front to begin with, or keep it close to your chest at all times. After all, both the punter and the W/L are subject to judgment in this still conservative-dominated world, and half the reason why W/Ls use fake names (although I imagine the reasons are far more complex) But that brings me to my main point. When I was doing my research and contacting girls, I used a fake name. Obviously once I engaged their services I revealed my real name, as the reality is I've appeared in the newspaper enough times for it to be obvious what my real name is! I also set up a separate email account and use a web-browser that has the option of disabling history/cookies when browsing (www.rockmelt.com - give it a try, the 'incognito' mode is great for privacy!). I guess my reasons for using a fake name are different from those of W/Ls, but the need for privacy I think is a common link. In fact I'm surprised many more punters don't use fake names, after all, I'm sure the girls can respect the desire for privacy, but for me there is also something of a double-reason for it. I always intended to write up about my experiences, to give a voice for the punters in a world full of media of the other side of the fence, so it gave me a pen name if I chose so, as well as a separate identity of sorts. This gives me a better ability to separate my punting experiences away from my main life prevent accidental "spilling" of my secret to others, plus if someone from who shouldn't finds out... Well, they can't prove it was me, can they?
Okay, so that was a bit of a random, convoluted rant that probably made no real sense, but if you take anything out of that one, give this "Rockmelt" browser a try!
A second point I'd like to make is the hypocrisy I've noticed of some people on the subject. A select few of my close friends know that I've engaged W/L services. One of whom was quite influential in helping me make the decision, she was very helpful when it came to overcoming my concerns. Most of the few that know are very supportive and haven't thought any less of me about it. But one in particular proved to be quite a disappointment. Certainly she has kept my secret and has for the most part, kept an open mind. But during her speech of how it shouldn't be something to be ashamed about and bla bla bla I asked her straight how she'd feel if her current boyfriend had seen a W/L at some point in his life. This stumped her quite quickly and after a couple of minutes she was forced to admit that it WOULD in fact make an impact on how she viewed him. This I think is a core problem. A lot of people claim that they are okay with prostitution and that they are open-minded, but just like many people with homosexuality - what they say and what they really think often become to separate entities when put to the test. Just like not being a virgin 200 years ago somehow tainted a girl in the eyes of society, so too does seeing a W/L taint the man in the eyes of society. Its like there is something wrong with him because he can't get girls "for real" or has some dark, secret obsession/mental disorder that forces him to seek out paid work. Of course we all know that is not true (well, mostly ) but I think its important for clients to voice their opinions and experiences, even using fake names if need be, to try and break that stigma. Who knows, maybe a sequel to Secret Diary is in order. But I doubt it will happen, the reality is no-one wants to know about the sexual comings and goings of the average man.
But regardless, as important as it is to break down the stereotypes of the working lady, why does there seem to be no effort to break down the stereotypes of the paying man? Your thoughts on my late-night, barely coherent ramblings are welcome