When I planned this trip to Europe I thought I was going to have more idle time or at least a better knowledge of my itinerary. As things turned out only once I had arrived I gained a clearer idea of my professional commitments and hence, where I could have my fun. Fate had it for me to spend a couple of weeks in the part of Europe where food is bliss but punting rather pointless and yesterday I finally was able to fly East, to Poland.

 

(SKIP IF YOU JUST WANT THE SEX DETAILS)

 

Somehow the fact of sharing a flight with gorgeous hostesses and a group of young Englishmen, all dressed like stereotypical Frenchmen (possibly a plot to pass a bit of bad reputation to their historic rivals), made me think that I was on the right track. More reasons to believe this were the absolutely beautiful girls I started seeing everywhere once I landed in Warsaw. One of my habits when I get to new cities is to venture by public transport for a bit of adventure. Not sure if John Lennon was the first one to say that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans, but yes or no, I've made of it my religion. I even try to maximise the chances by doing random things like getting off a few stops earlier, and that's exactly what happened last night (albeit not 100% intentionally) when a zero knowledge of the local language, made me read one stop name like another. So, right there and then I found out that none of the languages I speak were going to help me much in this city... never mind, eventually I got to my hotel and with no time to lose I ran in search of a cyber cafe to help myself with some useful links for debauchery.

 

Hey, maybe I was a bit over confident but I did not want to waste any precious time and so began the quest for the holy bordello. Despite my lack of preparation for this country, I had read that brothels here are not that great but anything other than that was beyond any realistic expectations considering that 45 minutes before I was sitting inside a plane.

 

There are many brothels here as I have realised now by seeing flyers all over the place but somehow the marketing battle has been won by S-Studio (1, 2 & 3), so, I tried to find one of them. A quick look on the map and I noticed that at least two of them were near the bus stop I got off at by mistake (fate works in mysterious ways!). Somehow I was expecting them to look like the ones I've seen in Prague (not that different to some new Aussie brothels from outside) but I kept walking and walking... and nothing. No signs of a nighclub-like building anywhere. The time I gained by recognising the area was completely wasted by trying to find the bloody things. I decided though to put common sense aside and just concentrate on the street numbers... okay, I got to an apartment building with a security entry. If that was it, I was meant to ring apartment number 1. I closed my eyes and I rang the buzzer expecting to be completely abused in a language I don't understand anyway. However, magic happened and I was let in and eventually, once inside I found the unsuspecting apartment where S-Studio 2 is located. Website: http://s-studio.pl/galeria_en.php

 

(THE SEX BEGINS HERE)

 

A girl in lingerie opened the door and let me in. With very little knowledge of English she told me to wait in one room. It's funny how brothels around the world tend to smell, even look, the same. It was not unlike waiting in a room of an Australian terrace house brothel. After a few minutes the door opened and five girls walked in. After all done and said, I was very underwhelmed by this line-up... where were the girls I had seen on the bus? where did they manage to find five average-looking girls in a city where most look like angels? None of them seemed to speak much English (or other foreign languages)... my fault for not speaking Polish anyway. Only two did offer me a smile, one of them was the girl who opened the door for me, Margarita. They were there waiting for me to point at one of them and I chose Margarita.

 

Margarita is a girl in her twenties, brunette with blond highlites, size 10, C-cups. She took me to another room where she told me that the price was 150 zl (around 38 Euros)... not bad though I already had the suspicion that for local standards that wasn't value for money. In any case, while Margarita wasn't bad looking, I was looking forward to find out about her service, maybe that was the good factor.

 

Anyway, she sent me to another room to have a shower and after a few minutes she picked me up and guided me back to the room. I helped her undress but soon realised that kissing was out of boundaries. Never mind, after a week of complete abstinence I was horny as hell. Some nice foreplay followed sliding mini-AndyJ in between her buttcheeks... we were still standing so I suggested to move to the bed. Unfortunately she reached for a condom straight away... not only a premature action I thought but also the end of any hope for a BBBJ. I did not attempt DATY, it just did not feel like the right thing to do. She gave me a good covered BJ and soon after we changed to intercourse. One detail I liked was that she left the stockings on. As I said I was horny and it took me nothing to come. She kissed me goodbye, walked me out and that was it. Value for money?... probably not, I can probably get a similar experience in Sydney for 38 Euros (a quickie). However, considering the record time that got me punting out there right after arrival, it did the job. I promised myself to work a bit harder for a better experience today and soon you'll see that I've been rewarded and that there is already a happy sequel to my Polish adventure. Stay tuned.