A Newbies Guide to Strip Clubs
Entry posted by ToastedHam&Cheese
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Strip Clubs
I haven't been to a strip club - what should I expect?
Firstly if you haven't been to a strip club ... then you should get new mates. Visiting a strip club has been a rite of passage for people coming of age ever since such clubs started. Ok so we are past that and you now have new friends. First thing that you need to realise is that a Strip club is usually not much different to a normal bar with some minor exceptions.
Exception 1 - There are a lot less females (if this is not the case please check and make sure that you are not in a MALE strip club)
Exception 2 - The females that are in the club are usually a little less clothed
Exception 3 - There is no dance floor ... just stages and podiums
Exception 4 - Drinks are more expensive
Ok. I have decided to go to a strip club ... how should I act?
Now you have taken the plunge and arrived at the strip club of your choice. If you have done your homework you would have probably discovered that the local adult bookstore has some free entry passes to many clubs and a quick visit will save you the $10-$20 cover charge. In the club the rules will usually be very similar to what you are used to in any other bar.
Don't get to drunk or you will be asked to leave (or helped to leave)
Don't get loud and obnoxious or you will be asked to leave (or helped to leave)
Don't harass other customer ... you know the deal
Don't harass the dancers or you will definitely be helped to leave.
Basically be respectable and treat the other people in the bar (staff and other customers) as you would want to be treated. The main difference with a strip club over a normal bar is that the ladies will be much more friendly (at least they are for me ... some of you lucky pricks may have more success in normal bars) and they will tempt you with their womanly ways ... do not be tempted to touch them. Enjoy the moment by all mean but DO NOT touch.
In these clubs the girls get paid only what they make from dances they do not get paid a wage and often they even pay to work at the club. So don't be a cheapskate if you are there to see naked women expect to pay for it. If you don't buy dances or contribute to "jug strips" then dont expect the girls to hang around chatting all night.
What happens with the stage dances?
The main stage is where "free shows" often occur. These shows are often paid for by management and are used to encourage the customers to stay longer and drink more. The trend now is for clubs to make these dances "Jug Strips" which means that instead of the club paying the girl to dance on the main stage the poor girl has to spend an hour wandering amongst the groping hands and do what basically amounts to begging in order to get a few coins / notes to pay for her nudity on stage. Be as generous as you can if asked to contribute, as generally the girls hate asking as much as we hate being asked.
Anyway stage shows are often the best way to enjoy these clubs sit back watch the show and CHEER ... most girls really do not perform at their best in these shows unless the crowd shows a little bit of energy.
Tip for new punters ... when the water pistols, sponges full of water, or shaving cream appear move back from the stage (or risk having to explain to significant others why you have shaving cream in your butt crack).
What happens with the private dances?
The main stage is not where the main action occurs. Most action in these clubs actually occurs in private rooms where the girls dance one on one for you in exchange for your first born ... oops I mean in exchange for a measly few dollars ($20+ usually). Normally the events leading to this occur something like the following:
1 Girl comes and sits at your table ... or stands next to you at the bar.
2 Girl chats briefly
3 Girl asks if you want to see her naked.
4 Girl drags your sorry ass into the room before you can stop yourself.
5 Girls gets your money
6 Girl dances and removes clothes (YAY!!)
Once in the private rooms you will be sat down and directed as to where to put your hands and how to position your legs ... the standard is for you to sit with legs apart and your hands at your side. You will also be given the golden rule. The dances are a non contact sport ... if you touch the girls you will be asked to leave. This does vary from club to club and state to state depending on laws and house rules so it does pay to ask what you are allowed to do ... if in doubt you should however, follow the above rule.
At the end of the dance say thanks (no need to not be polite)
Private room clubs like Club Striptease ... what are they like?
A variation on the above comes in the form of Private Room clubs which are the in between of a strip club and a parlour. You enter the club and get met by a receptionist who will often ask if you have a booking with anyone in particular.
If you don't then you will be led into an introduction area and the dancers will come and introduce themselves one at a time and you will be asked to make a choice.
After your selection you will be asked how long ... and then your wallet will magically be lighter. The girl (or receptionist) will take you to a room where you will often find a chair, some mirrors, a radio and a box of tissues. The girl will enter the room and sometimes offer extras (kissing, wide spreads etc) and then after negotiations are completed she will start to dance. At some point she may ask if you would like to get comfortable ... this is not an invite to kick off your shoes and wriggle your toes (think about the box of tissues ... if you cant work it out ... then take off your shoes and wriggle your toes). Usually these dances allow some degree of touching although genital touching is out (except you on you and her on her)
When time gets close to the amount you have purchased a buzzer will go off ... or someone will knock on the door and tell the girl to finish up. Say thanks on your way out.
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