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"Men who pay for sex can't get it for free"

Venus Nymphs

Entry posted by Venus Nymphs in Anthropology of sex work clients

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After being in this industry in and out for a good few years now I think it's time for me to discuss my thoughts on this comment that I get a lot when discussing this style of work with my civvie friends who know what I do, or even other sex industry professionals.

 

"Men who pay for sex can't get it for free"

 

I've certainly heard this line often and I suppose before I was familiar with the ins and outs of SW I may have had this thought too. Of course now I've worked on and off for 3 years FS I am much more educated on what truly does make a sex work client. Whilst I can't deny, I'm sure we do get the odd person who finds unpaid sex difficult to achieve this is actually far less common than you would think

 

There seems to be this misconception that the standard sex work client is a sex deprived weirdo, absolute creeps none of us would want to talk to in real life but in reality our clients can be anyone, there really is nothing that sets a sex work client apart from civvie dudes except perhaps his lens for how he views this world. 

 

In my time working both private and now in an establishment I've seen people from all walks of life be it Tradies or high up businessmen. Doctors, solicitors, students, small business owners, IT dudes, financial advisors, supermarket employees, massage therapists, gym instructors, guys on centrelink, uncles, fathers, grandfathers, lesbians, virgin's, couples looking to explore, people with high body counts and those with very few.

 

The reality is anyone can be a punter, the box people try to fit them into is based on projection, insecurities and stigma of the people making that very box. Clients are people from all walks of life, income levels, education and social classes. The same goes for the workers doing this job, we are everywhere and we are everyone, again it is our societal lens that is truly different.

 

Now for the reason I believe punters truly are attracted to paying for a service in this industry.

 

1. People pay for the same reason someone has a playsation plus subscription. Sure you might already have access to a bunch of games, but with your plus subscription you might get special offers, access to things you might not normally find, VIP treatment and the feeling of being in a special club. 

 

2. Participation in this industry is exciting, it's exhilarating and it's a thrill. For some people the excitement of doing something left of centre or frowned upon by normies is straight up kinky. Sometimes the adrenaline rush alone and fantasy in someone's head might be just as good as the actual experience. People seek this feeling out in all sorts of things, paid sex is just one of those options.

 

3. Some guys (and girls or whatever you identify as) simply just like a good slutty fuck. Wholesome and family friendly might be nice for a long term commitment but there's something about straight up just fun and sexy sex. People do this all the time on dating apps, quite literally for FREE. Which brings me to my next point..

 

4. Some dudes looking to get laid are experienced enough to realise that they will likely have to spend more time money and energy into a tinder fuck when sex isn't even a guarantee. They might have to cover her ubers, shout a nice dinner or a sesh and then still spend hours with someone before she decides she wants to get down and dirty. Or it simply might not end up happening at all, after all civvie women are not employees of sex work and when they do choose to fuck someone in a casual capacity that is a volunteer position for them. Not all volunteers enjoy unpaid work and not many women see dinner a sesh and/or ubers covered as a reasonable reiumbursement for their time and bodies. 

 

5. Following on from my last point, most women on dating apps are looking for just that. Dating - a literal committed relationship. With sex work there is no commitment, there is no uncertainty. Men know that all women have a price but ours are laid out simply and you know our conditions. For some punters it is simply the comfort of knowing they aren't going to hurt a woman by leading them on, they aren't going to get hurt themselves or they aren't going to be confused. Some men might not be ready to commit to a ring and a relationship but can part with a few hundred dollars for what they're looking for in that time.

 

At the end of the day its almost as if sex work and those working in it are playing a real life video game. It is fun, it's sexy and you can experience it in real time. Punters are the players and the workers are the characters they're choosing to play. Some men have their favourites but most people wanna try playing everyone at least once.

 

Who doesn't enjoy video games? 

 

🧚‍♀️ Venus x

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Jazzman351

Number 2 from me as well, although I do have a rule now that they have to be more attractive than those I can get for free.

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Venus Nymphs
20 minutes ago, Jazzman351 said:

Number 2 from me as well, although I do have a rule now that they have to be more attractive than those I can get for free.

 

Hmm you're seriously limiting yourself there. Sex isn't just about what someone looks like. It's about natural chemistry and how good they are at the act. Also this is kind of a misogynistic way to view a woman tbh. Whilst sex work is a service and you certainly can pay to receive whatever you want I hate customers who think like this, makes the job awful. 

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Venus Nymphs
On 20/03/2023 at 9:43 PM, Spike said:

That's a big Number 2 from me.

 

Coming from the other side, me too. I love the thrill, I love doing shit that's frowned upon for no good reason lmao.

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wicked

“Who doesn't enjoy video games?”

 

Have to say I don’t, but that’s after spending months addicted, getting to the end of a game years ago! Haven’t played since, or very briefly.
 

Back to the topic I prefer to pay, because I like to have choice and variety. It’s not just about getting it for “free”, or about the money. Let’s face it nothing is free, when you’re dating someone. Even after and they hound you for help. Like you owe them something. Had a few girls like that.

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Venus Nymphs
53 minutes ago, wicked said:

“Who doesn't enjoy video games?”

 

Have to say I don’t, but that’s after spending months addicted, getting to the end of a game years ago! Haven’t played since, or very briefly.
 

Back to the topic I prefer to pay, because I like to have choice and variety. It’s not just about getting it for “free”, or about the money. Let’s face it nothing is free, when you’re dating someone. Even after and they hound you for help. Like you owe them something. Had a few girls like that.

 

I certainly understand this point, I feel if I were a dude this would be my main reasons for visiting a worker. 

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PlayDohBalls

It’s not necessarily the case that you can’t get it for free. Sometimes you just don’t want to get it for free. In my case, after losing the love of my life and not wanting a relationship with another woman, visiting sex workers was the perfect way to feel the warmth of a woman once again. The lovely ladies I met made me feel whole once more. And then I was addicted. 

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Venus Nymphs
1 hour ago, PlayDohBalls said:

It’s not necessarily the case that you can’t get it for free. Sometimes you just don’t want to get it for free. In my case, after losing the love of my life and not wanting a relationship with another woman, visiting sex workers was the perfect way to feel the warmth of a woman once again. The lovely ladies I met made me feel whole once more. And then I was addicted. 

 

This is actually more common than people realise and I totally forgot to mention it. Lots of men who've lost their only love who are in the same boat. I love these customers, exactly the sort of person I want to service x

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TheSexAnd FitnessGuru

TheSexAnd FitnessGuru

Posted

I don’t pay for sex because it’s all about the thrill of the chase for me. I don’t have sex with someone I don’t find attractive, intelligent, and a genuinely nice person and I only have sex with someone that I know finds me desirable , attractive  and appreciates me.

For me I have no interest in racking up huge numbers of meaningless fucks, it’s always about quality not quantity.

I enjoy fishing and only eat seafood I catch myself. I never buy seafood at a shop or restaurant. I like to know I caught it myself, that it’s fresh and highest quantity! Where is the fun in just buying it?

Nothing, would be more of a turn off for me than a girl that wasn’t having more fun than me or was faking it.

All your points are valid and I understand why many men pay.
However, I just thought I would put the other perspective.
 

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Kirsis

I daresay that paying for sex does not mean that a man can not get sex for free.

 

Allow to present an analogy.

 

There are men, who although capable of pulling their own dicks, visit what are known as "rub and tugs" and pay to have their dicks pulled.

 

;)

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numbat101
44 minutes ago, Arsassin said:

I don’t pay for sex because it’s all about the thrill of the chase for me. I don’t have sex with someone I don’t find attractive, intelligent, and a genuinely nice person and I only have sex with someone that I know finds me desirable , attractive  and appreciates me.

For me I have no interest in racking up huge numbers of meaningless fucks, it’s always about quality not quantity.

I enjoy fishing and only eat seafood I catch myself. I never buy seafood at a shop or restaurant. I like to know I caught it myself, that it’s fresh and highest quantity! Where is the fun in just buying it?

Nothing, would be more of a turn off for me than a girl that wasn’t having more fun than me or was faking it.

All your points are valid and I understand why many men pay.
However, I just thought I would put the other perspective.
 

 

Why are you on Punter Planet if you don't punt?

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Kirsis
3 minutes ago, numbat101 said:

 

Why are you on Punter Planet if you don't punt?

 

He has written seven reviews of "rub and tugs". A rub and tug is a place where men pay somebody to pull their dicks even though they are presumably capable of pulling their own dicks for free. I guess that is different from "paying for sex". This reminds me of Billy Clinton "not having sex with that woman".

;)

 

https://forums.punterplanet.com/profile/230710-arsassin/content/?type=reviewsystem_review&change_section=1

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PlayDohBalls
26 minutes ago, Kirsis said:

 

There are men, who although capable of pulling their own dicks, visit what are known as "rub and tugs" and pay to have their dicks pulled.

I once knew a bloke who, because of birth defects, could not straighten his arms. His elbows locked at a 90 degree angle. He had difficulty having a leak and had to bend almost double when standing at the trough to grasp the old fellow. I imagine wanking would have been a major exercise. 

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daddymac
32 minutes ago, PlayDohBalls said:

I once knew a bloke who, because of birth defects, could not straighten his arms. His elbows locked at a 90 degree angle. He had difficulty having a leak and had to bend almost double when standing at the trough to grasp the old fellow. I imagine wanking would have been a major exercise. 

HEY YO

 

Even Murali needs to wank sometimes

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TheSexAnd FitnessGuru

TheSexAnd FitnessGuru

Posted

1 hour ago, Kirsis said:

daresay that paying for sex does not mean that a man can not get sex for free.

If you bothered to read the blog entry by @Venus Nymphs you would realise that this is the exact point she is making.

I was just presenting an alternative perspective…… if you don’t like it move on.
If her opinion or my reality doesn’t fit into your narrow viewpoint of why people have sex and why some men pay for sex then you need to broaden your perspective.

As the author already stated “there really is nothing that sets a sex work client apart from civvie dudes except perhaps his lens for how he views this world” and “The reality is anyone can be a punter, the box people try to fit them into is based on projection, insecurities and stigma of the people making that very box.”

 

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Two Dogs
10 minutes ago, daddymac said:

HEY YO

Even Murali needs to wank sometimes

HEY YO D/M

You reckon he could peel off a few googlies?

Perhaps some wrist spin?

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daddymac
46 minutes ago, kontol said:

HEY YO D/M

You reckon he could peel off a few googlies?

Perhaps some wrist spin?

HEY YO

 

Even I can stroke a couple of doosras lol

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Kirsis
1 hour ago, Arsassin said:

If you bothered to read the blog entry by @Venus Nymphs you would realise that this is the exact point she is making.

I was just presenting an alternative perspective…… if you don’t like it move on.
If her opinion or my reality doesn’t fit into your narrow viewpoint of why people have sex and why some men pay for sex then you need to broaden your perspective.

As the author already stated “there really is nothing that sets a sex work client apart from civvie dudes except perhaps his lens for how he views this world” and “The reality is anyone can be a punter, the box people try to fit them into is based on projection, insecurities and stigma of the people making that very box.”

 

 

I read it. I don't think you have any comprehension of how inappropriate it is you to be coming onto a forum for men who pay for sex and banging on ad nauseum about how you have never paid for sex. You most definitely have paid for sex as you visit rub and tugs and pay for a tug. Your behaviour on this forum is thus hypocritical as well as inappropriate. To pay to have your lusts drawn off is to pay for sex. lust may include desires for touching, kissing or masturbation. You need to broaden your perspective.

 

I agree with the original poster that the men who pay for sex does include men who can get sex for free,

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Sam Garu

"Men who pay for sex can't get it for free"
 

In my opinion most men are Not paying for the sex, but for the ability to walk away afterwards no strings attached.

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ThirstyG

ThirstyG

Posted (edited)

13 minutes ago, Kirsis said:

 

I read it. I don't think you have any comprehension of how inappropriate it is you to be coming onto a forum for men who pay for sex and banging on ad nauseum about how you have never paid for sex. You most definitely have paid for sex as you visit rub and tugs and pay for a tug. Your behaviour on this forum is thus hypocritical as well as inappropriate. To pay to have your lusts drawn off is to pay for sex. lust may include desires for touching, kissing or masturbation. You need to broaden your perspective.

 

I agree with the original poster that the men who pay for sex does include men who can get sex for free,

Habibie is a whorin' expert. I don't know how he got there without coughing up $$.

He's also a subtle troll. Check his contributions elsewhere.

And he's an elite athlete. Just him.

Edited by ThirstyG as James Packer
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NothingOnTv
4 hours ago, Kirsis said:

There are men, who although capable of pulling their own dicks, visit what are known as "rub and tugs" and pay to have their dicks pulled.

I like to get a decent massage as well.  

 

And to get my dick pulled.

 

Also I'm in the 2,3,4 & 5 category.   

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bushmaster

I can't get sex with twenty something attractive Asian women, who have a very good set of skills. I expect many guys who pay for sex would be able to organise sex with women who weren't that attractive and a bit overweight. Obviously the solution for guys is to work on your attractiveness and see where that gets you. Maybe not far.

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Venus Nymphs
4 hours ago, bushmaster said:

I can't get sex with twenty something attractive Asian women, who have a very good set of skills. I expect many guys who pay for sex would be able to organise sex with women who weren't that attractive and a bit overweight. Obviously the solution for guys is to work on your attractiveness and see where that gets you. Maybe not far.

 

Me a not stereotypically attractive overweight hooker just like 🌚 reading that lmao.

 

Surprisingly men always think it boils down to how "hot" you apparently are with being able to pull women. This simply is not true, it's actually self confidence in yourself and a natural sexual aura that is truly attractive. After all beauty is in the eye of the beholder and believe it or not everyone has as many different tastes in sexual partners as people do different styles in their kitchens. 

 

I'd be very interested to know the average age of punters here cos some of the perspectives are definitely giving boomer mentality lmao. You might be surprised to know as a BBW tattooed alt worker my most regular clients are gen z dudes. What people think is attractive is individual and heavily based on generational differences.

 

Perhaps a topic for another blog post.

 

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