•  

 

Here's a few direct quotes from ads I have seen recently

 

WORDS/EXPRESSIONS                                                    ACTUAL MEANING                                                   COMMENT

"I can be chatty and playful"                                             I can be your naked therapist at $7/minute          STFU and start sucking my cock

"I pride myself on providing an unrushed service"       I slow things down to one shot on goal an hour   STFU and start sucking my cock

"Not afraid to speak my mind"                                         I will scoff at your tiny dick and your ED                STFU and start sucking my cock

"I am an all-natural girl"                                                     I can't be bothered to shave my pussy                   STFU and start sucking my cock

"I dedicated my life to spreading happiness"                OK, so the Dalai Lama doesn't do incalls               STFU and start sucking my cock  

"You can just relax and be yourself"                                That is, a pompous prick and a dud in bed           STFU and start sucking my cock

"Intimate experience"                                                         Pay me enough and stick it anywhere anyhow    STFU and start sucking my cock

"I do have a screening process"                                       It would be less intrusive to join ASIO                   STFU and start sucking my cock

"My photos are 100% real and recent"                            Recent and real but not of me                                 STFU and start sucking my cock