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What's the role of a Sex Worker ?


Scarlett B Wilde

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What is the role of a Sex Worker  ?

 

An interesting question to ask when consideration is given to the wide variety of clients a sex worker is exposed to.

 

Why see a sex worker ?

 

This really is such a huge question once you can wrap your head around the fact that may clients see a sex worker for different reasons than your own.

A short yet not comprehensive list:

  • A disabled client that can’t touch their own genitals and wish for sexual release

  • A client who has a fetish that maybe seen as too extreme or weird for a partner

  • A sexless marriage which isn’t meeting the needs of the client

  • A practice partner for the first time client has sex

  • A sex educator in which client wishes to learn more about themselves

  • Concern about sexual performance and a ‘coach’ to guide them to satisfaction 

 

In many respects these are the same reasons one may see a sex therapist too. This question is further exacerbated when consideration is given to the recent NDIS decision to award monies to a client for seeing a sex therapist which excluded sex workers.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-07-11/ndis-to-pay-for-sex-therapist-after-landmark-ruling/11298838

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-07-11/ndis-to-pay-for-sex-therapist-after-landmark-ruling/11298838

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/jul/22/we-are-sexual-beings-why-disability-advocates-want-the-ndis-to-cover-sexual-services 

 

question was raised in forum post about “ Would you consider yourself as more 'Health Service/Counsellor' or more 'Actress'?  “.

The answer to this question I feel isn’t so much about the qualifications or skill set of the workers, yet more on the intention of the client.
That may sound like a backwards statement, especially in this day and age- yet I didn’t say the qualifications didn’t matter, just that the intentions are a valuable part of the process.


Let’s be honest. The secretive nature of sex work in general makes the idea of seeing someone whom sells their time and body for money an unlikely ‘professional’ trade and yet that very lack of adherence to strict rules can actually make it the most ‘human & caring’ of all professions.
When hiring a worker, it’s not just the body, yet their intention, caring and ability to touch another a very powerful modality. That last part being a huge part. Most therapy modalities forbid any sexual contact ( or even just touch ) as it’s against professional boundaries- which I can understand- and yet at the same time does this dismiss the human experience that is sexual touch ?

When getting a massage, the genitals are usually excluded. Considering how often one may get a massage, what sort of message does this send to the human being lying on the table ?  Are your genitals not an important part of your being ? Now before you resist the temptation to place a joke like a 14yr old, maybe feel into why that reaction ‘is’ there in the first place ?
Where did you learn that your genitals where to be the brunt of jokes and not part of your very real, lived human experience ?  Where did you learn that the genitals are an acceptance part to be ignored when engaging in others ?

With a sex therapist you can talk about them to a client, even show some diagrams to them to show the different parts, but could a client ‘show’ you how they masturbate ?
Is this an acceptable part of sex therapy ?  According to the code of ethics… no.
Yet can a sex worker give very real hands on help ?  Yes they can.

So are sex therapy and sex work completely misaligned ? No .. they can and do work together. While a sex therapist will spend a lot of time talking, and this may seem counter productive and yet what if it came about that the sex you tend to have in always hard, fast and very pornographic ?
Nothing wrong with that, and yet if through therapy it came to your attention you'd never had slow, sensual, considered engagement in any sexual encounter, what would you do ?  Could the sex therapist strip off and guide you through a session in which you’re given constant reminder about the intention of the session ?
To have a very different experience to the one you seem to default to ?
Again the code of ethics dictates no. Yet would a suggestion to see a sex worker and describe your intention and how you’d like the session to go a valid and very real therapeutic benefit ?

I'd say so ...

This then comes down to the question. So does a sex worker provide a therapy service ?

 

A recent twitter post below shows the stories that come out of the work of being a sex worker.
https://twitter.com/FawnCoyote/status/1168604824117497857  

These stories are told among sex workers by the many, yet the general public hears them by the very few.

 

Maybe it's all the shame around sex ? Maybe it's the secretive nature that sex work is conducted with ?  Or maybe ... just maybe ... the the very human experience of sex itself ?

 

So to answer the question posted - Are sex workers a kind of therapist or more an actress ?
The answer  ? …. What’s your intention on the session ?


I welcome your comments below.


 


PS. I note that this brief blog was to point out the difference between a worker and a therapist. There are other modalities that fit into between these shades and that would be sexological body-worker and sexual surrogates. 


 

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Калашников

Posted

The secretive nature of sex work in general ....      

 

Secretive only in nations that speak English as a native language..

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascha_(brothel)

 

Pretty hard to hide : The Pascha is a 12-storey 9,000 square metre brothel in Cologne, Germany. With about 120 prostitutes, over 80 employees and up to 1,000 customers per day, it is the largest brothel in the world.[1][2]

 

Maybe the word client needs to change as this game is of an intimate nature, maybe come up with a more personal name here for the person that is coming to you for these services, and also paying handsomely for the service offering too, including disabled people whom may have to save up for weeks on a disability pension for 1 hours of your time, and the only qualifications a person (mainly women) need in this game is to be born female and have a love for sex, which every woman I have been with paid and otherwise have all loved sex so no real difference except one set of women didn't want me to open my purse but my heart instead.

 

The game in Australia in my opinion on all levels is still much at crawling wearing nappies stage,  A therapist may follow up sessions with phone calls which are called welfare checks, do you call you your clients between visits to see how they are traveling I bet you do, also say you see a doctor whom you may be consulting for a personal issue, you see them at coles / a cafe or even on the street you can stop and talk to them or they will stop and talk to you and maybe ask how you are going or even say if you are in a cafe come and join me at my table, will you do that?  no as in this game you can't even smile at a sex worker in public for fear of what exactly ?  after all we are all adults now aren't we?

 

So if I get the NDIS to pay for a session for me then does and they pick up the tab, does that mean you are now on the public payroll as if you are then if I see you in public I can come up and talk to you or even call your name out in public, eg you are now a public servant you serve me,  now that will be funny to see that happen,  how will you post that booking on Twitter,  your code of ethics will go out of the window here,  and also if its a NDIS booking does that mean you have to deliver what I want?  as part of the therapy I need to survive as a human being... 

 

If you have to rely upon a paid sex session to be advised how good you are in bed really you need more help than even a good therapist can deliver, course any sex worker will tell you how big and wonderful your dick is, how good you use it, how great of a love your are, or lover of the moment you are, and you will lay back and make some groans and screams at coming with each and every client to blow his ego out of the room,  so he thinks I am so great at sex and romance this lady is really into me, I have gave her two climaxes in 1 hour booking, and she loves how I give her oral , and my kissing skills are second to none, yep that's right , how many other men has she told the same thing to that day, week,month,year decade,  you will say anything to him so he will come back and book you again, come on be serious because a girl whom is a size 6 and model looking 21 year old like loads of girls are at places like Stiletto in Sydney really wants a dude or a man that may be drunk., drugged up , bald, fat old enough to be her grand dad naked in a bed with her, yep that's right and not ever booking or client do you like being with you look at the clock or Iphone next to the bed and think only 25 mins to go and this lump of lard will be showered and gone... and you hope he never books you again, its like every job everyone has.....  

 

https://twitter.com/FawnCoyote/status/1168604824117497857     <---- We are all on the spectrum,  and she says congrads to him on his engagement, when she was actually thinking I have lost a client to his wife.  Irony at its finest!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

Thanks for your detailed post Amal. 
The reason I use the word client is as a boundary setter. As a client you 'know' where you stand. Blurring the line ?! Ummm.... no thanks. Have enough trouble as it is.

 

Your example of no training for disability is met here - https://www.touchingbase.org/workshops-and-training/pdat   A fantastic and great organisation that helps through advocacy and training of both clients support and workers themselves. 

 

Doing calls or seen out in public ?  Due to the stigma of my occupation, I am hesitant approach client as I don't know whom they are with. Also, exactly like a doctor ( or lawyer ) I'm not working. If your issue is of need of my attention, call me during working hours. Why expect someone to work 24/7 because you'd like to chat to someone ?  I'm not opposed to a quick chat, yet if I'm at a cafe, I'm most probably looking for down time. Time to recharge my batteries -as you may not of worked this game as long as I have, yet the constant effort of making our engagement together about the other can lead to drain. I'm not complaining, yet it pays to be aware that I'm human and will need to recharge.
 

Then a rant about being a public servant ?  Yes I'm of service to the other and I have no qualms about that, yet I'm not 'owned' by anyone ?  A police officer is also a public servant. Would you act towards them the way you described in your post ?

A word that came up for me Amal while reading your post is - Jaded. Everything you've posted is about what the other is doing. Amal... What are you doing in your bookings ?

 Now I can't make global statements about other WL's because I'm not them, yet the way I behave in the room is dictated a lot by the client. If you mumble a lot, say zero to nil words, place money on a counter and then just lie on the bed, how do you expect me to behave ? Me ?   I start communication.
I see many client whom have used the phrase ' beaten by the ugly stick'.
That honesty, rawness, and up front attitude is then what we work with. If the client wants a PSE style booking ...okay. 
Yet the option is there for a more personal style of booking with me. They just have to communicate and then I an act on that. 

 

As a sex worker I'm not a clairvoyant, and yet it seems you are Amal, as your statement about how a WL reacts upon hearing wonderful news about a client leaves me...... well....

 

The choice is yours...

 

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I think that Amal is a glass half empty type of person. We are all different I guess.

I am a maybe once a year guy myself and each time is exciting and a special thing to me.

I tend to go for people who smile at the interview regardless of age. Oh and since i am relatively small i go for the smaller ladies.

What i get out of it is the excitement of the first kiss and the companionship knowing that I can at least hold a conversation for 60 mins.

I think I can remember every lady I have been with, but only a few names. No most of the names.

I am most times impressed with the SWs intelligence and the way they are most unlike the stereotype. I am a bit surprised that many do not use chatrooms such as these to encourage clients to be honest. I have met 2 or 3 from chatting on here.

Well thats it for me. I would be interested for someone to place me into one of the groups who use SWrs as it would be an interesting excercise.

 

Bye for Now

Spike

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Калашников

Posted

On 23/10/2019 at 8:24 AM, Scarlett B Wilde said:

Jaded

 

No I am not...  Maybe Australian Sex workers should go do 6 months working in a German or European Styled FKK club and then come back and ask yourself what the role of a sex worker really is, hey May I suggest OASE or maybe FKK club world.  

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33 minutes ago, Ariadna Majewska said:

 

No I am not...  Maybe Australian Sex workers should go do 6 months working in a German or European Styled FKK club and then come back and ask yourself what the role of a sex worker really is, hey May I suggest OASE or maybe FKK club world.  

 

PV, you are sounding like a broken record about the FKKs. I love FKKs as well, you can read my reviews, you can see my blogs for the pre-2010 reviews too (FKKs were even better back then), but it's pointless to keep comparing to Australia. We are an island at the end of the world surrounded by sharks, so we can't leave whenever we want, and people can't enter whenever they want, at least not like they do in Europe, which is what facilitates things like FKKs. So, please, maybe time to stop posting about FKKs in threads about other things.

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Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

On 11/11/2019 at 5:29 PM, Ariadna Majewska said:

 

No I am not...  Maybe Australian Sex workers should go do 6 months working in a German or European Styled FKK club and then come back and ask yourself what the role of a sex worker really is, hey May I suggest OASE or maybe FKK club world.  

 

Or maybe appreciate variance and difference in the world ?  Why is your opinion of what a sex worker is better than anyone eles's ?
Your allowed to have an opinion yes... I back you up in that-  in fact my post about how the choice of the session can go is in this very blog, and yet you seem to push the idea that everyone one should act in one way ?!!?  What a deary world we'd live in.

I have many customer reviews / testimonials that state as an Australian, I'm performing / exceeding to the standards of my clients.

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Калашников

Posted

43 minutes ago, Scarlett B Wilde said:

 

Or maybe appreciate variance and difference in the world ?  Why is your opinion of what a sex worker is better than anyone eles's ?
Your allowed to have an opinion yes... I back you up in that-  in fact my post about how the choice of the session can go is in this very blog, and yet you seem to push the idea that everyone one should act in one way ?!!?  What a deary world we'd live in.

I have many customer reviews / testimonials that state as an Australian, I'm performing / exceeding to the standards of my clients.

 

My comment about what I said was along the lines to compare Europe V Australia and if you did you would see where I am coming from which was comparing apples v apples that was all, then to go back to Australia you would appreciate how freaking good the game is there,  Eg some ladies whom pull 18 hour shifts at some clubs in Europe see over 15 men a day in a shift I know that 1st hand,  that is what my post was about, to see how good escort and client have it in Australia that was all,  nothing more nothing less, and from what  I have seen 1st hand in some clubs Escorts in Australia wouldn't put up with the crap women here do especially with clients from some countries in Europe some nationalities treat women awfully, in Australia once again that would not occur as you ladies there would call that crap out,  that is what my post was about the overall game comparing the pair that was all.

 

Sorry for the confusion caused.

 

 

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