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A First Time Guide To Adult Service Providers

Scarlett B Wilde

Entry posted by Scarlett B Wilde

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This is my first time.
I’m not sure how to go about this ?
I’m sorry to have wasted your time.

This scenario comes up a lot, so here is a guide with questions to ask yourself so you may be better prepared for the upcoming adventure.

The question that comes up is how do I engage or introduce myself ? This is a question that I'd answer with a question. What are you looking to get out of the exchange ?  Most reply with.. umm.. sex ??? or even a more broader - just a good time.
  So further curiosity asks  - What type of sex are you after ?
Rough and ready ? Soft and sensual ? Wet and sloppy ? A more natural exchange as opposed to a full on porn experience ?   What about that fetish you always watch on porn and feel you'd like to try it out in real life ? Or a personalised experience that treats you as an individual ?

 My next question is - What's a good time for you ?
If you can't clearly state that in a two or three sentence answer, then I'm curious how you expect another to 'know' what it is your after ?  It’s not necessary to produce a ‘To do list’, yet how do you want to be treated ?
 Take the time to just think about that. You're paying for a service, yet when asked what type of service, you can't really answer. Best that a few moments are spared, so you don't go blowing your money then blame the other because you couldn't communicate your needs.
I can honestly say the worst type of client is one who only tells you what they don't like, yet can't articulate what they do.
Consider what you liked about previous experiences ? What didn't you like ? This should build a more fuller picture for you.

 What I'm enquiring about here are your needs. Why is it that you seek an adult service provider ? This means that you can then effectively communicate to the provider what it is you're after. This will only mean a more successful outcome for both involved. You know what you need, and the provider can answer those questions to provide a match or not.

These are the first two questions I ask, because I have a fair guess of the other questions coming and yet the answers to these first two questions, usually answers all the rest.

  Questions such as -
How Long should I look at  ?
 Again, this comes down to what you're after. If you've a list as long as your arm, asking for a half hour is a ridiculous proposition. Even if it's possible to act out all services in the allotted time, are you giving yourself time to actually enjoy and experience them ?  Is being in the throes of passion for a whole 2 mins and 33 seconds a viable option for you because you need to move onto service #13 on the list ? Something to think about.

How much should I spend ?
 Again, this comes down to your needs and desires. Every industry has a median. So in your research you find everyone charges $ 550 for the service and you find someone whom will do it for $110. I'm not so sure that's a wise purchase. Seems a bit too good to be true, yeah ?  Someone who's priced at $350 - 400 maybe an option worth considering yet don't necessarily let price dictate the service.
 Any amount of money is a waste if not serving the purpose you're after. Mainly, your needs being met. The example of $110. That's a lot to spend on a dud, yet the $400 can bring fantastic memories like a holiday if the right choice is made. And the choice is yours.
Addressing your needs and the time needed to actually feel them, will ultimately dictate the price you pay. If you find that it's more than you expected, it may be best to instead of giving up on your needs- save while you research more providers, which keeps you busy for the next two weeks, before you arrive at a grand total.

Something to be mindful of - While as Adult Service Providers we bring alive fantasies and dirty thoughts, in actual fact we're running a business. So in your dealing with us before being in the room, best you keep that in mind. While as a client I need to respect your privacy, time, and space, please offer the same to a worker. You know what you're after. How long you'd like to experience that for, and the amount of money you'll pay to see it born into reality.

If you're looking to engage a private worker it's best to introduce in a professional manner with clear instructions on the how, what, where, when ?
An example such as -

Good Morning Scarlett,

Hope you are well ( this isn't needed, and yet politeness never offended anyone )
I saw your advert on Punter Planet ( again, while not entirely necessarily, a worker will greatly appreciate this )
I'm looking to spend 2 hours with you next Friday between 11am - 4pm if possible. ( you've given both an amount of time and your availability around that time. A provider has a calendar and I can check that against it. Asking if I'm available next Friday doesn't give me anything to check against. Clear times and availability do )
I'm looking for a more sensual experience with some strap on play and if you have rope to tie me up with, that's a bonus. I also like passionate kissing.
Is this something that you are happy to do ?
Let me know...

Joe.

Note that Joe has asked a question, yet it's pretty clear of Joe's intentions and almost zero ambiguity. I have a few questions to ask in regards the text, yet I can and will engage a client with such an enquiry.

Hi.
or 

You available ?

Give me no idea of anything ?  Available when ? now ? How long ? What do I need to prepare ?  Can I serve you without knowing anything about your needs ?

These type of enquiries most likely get left alone, due to the arrival of Joe's response above. If you find workers not getting back to you, this maybe a case of your enquires needing more details.
Personally I'll reply with more questions which you've been fortunate to have read through already.

   DO's & DON'TS
I can't speak on behalf of other providers on the do's that they do, so best you ask up front if there's something you'd like to happen during your time together, yet I can state a few Don'ts that would apply to almost all providers out there.
Haggle prices- You have every right to state and stick to a budget you dictate, yet although your intent may not be malicious, your attempt to cheapen someone will rarely go down well. Your eating into someone's pay packet.
Imagine if you will, in your job of 38 hours a week, you notice one week a missing $ 200 from your pay. You ring the payroll dept expecting a mishap has happened and it will soon be rectified. To your horror you employer has decided that they aren't going to pay you that amount that week. What ?!  I worked yet you're cutting my pay ?! Exactly. You can disagree with the rates, sure. Yet best you just move along to someone whom is within your budget range and meets your needs.
No one likes to be cheapened, and as the sex industry is a very personal one, that's exactly how it will come across as. Best to never ask than risk offending.

Don't get too personal -
  Now while the nature of the deed is a business transaction, I personally like to respect that it's two human beings coming together. This doesn't mean that I'm suddenly going to reveal my personal life to you. I honestly believe that will have no standing on the level of service I provide to you, yet incessantly insisting on 'knowing' things about me usually builds discomfort in the provider. If they choose to tell you something, then lucky you, yet if you aren't one to understanding or respect boundaries I'll ask you to reconsider if engaging another is right for you right now. Everyone has the right to privacy... everyone.

In closing I'm hoping those of you that are first timers may read through this a couple of times as I'm of the firm believer this will only further enhance your success to a great first time meeting of an adult service provider and hope that the adventures and time ahead are enjoyable and fulfilling overall.

All the best in your travels !
 

 

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Scarlett B Wilde

Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

I'll invite clients /punters to add their 2 cents, as maybe your language might resonate with a beginner and help them along.

Even a seasoned punter may learn something or give ideas.
That's the great thing about the forums .... We can share !

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Thats all folks

Thats all folks

Posted

missing $ 200 from your pay.  TBH if my boss added another 0 I would still go to work,  as what I would then be paid would still be great money!!  plus it would actually lower my medicare and taxation burden! :)

 

 

 

 

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Scarlett B Wilde

Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

6 hours ago, Amal Alamuddin said:

...  TBH if my boss added another 0 I would still go to work....


What a great fucking marketing ploy !

All this week guys- Book me for a kinky GFE and I'll add a '0' to the price !
 Hehehehe.......


Hmmmmm... maybe ?!

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Thats all folks

Thats all folks

Posted

13 hours ago, Scarlett B Wilde said:


What a great fucking marketing ploy !

All this week guys- Book me for a kinky GFE and I'll add a '0' to the price !
 Hehehehe.......


Hmmmmm... maybe ?!

 

Thank me L8r!

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PlayDohBalls

I’d say that in many cases when a man first begins visiting a sex worker he really might not know exactly what type of experience he wants or expects from the exchange and what constitutes a good time with a sex worker. He would probably just have a broad yearning for a sexual experience without being able to articulate in detail what that would entail.

 

The more time you spend with sex workers, the more you become aware of exactly what type of experience appeals to you. For first timers however, it’s the beginning of an enjoyable learning curve in the company of lovely women, and like all new things it may take a little time to learn the ropes. 

 

Looking back on on my own experience, I began seeing sex workers quite a while after losing the love of my life. I missed the warmth of a woman’s company, but to be honest I would have struggled to describe just what I wanted or expected when I took that first step to engage a sex worker. Things are very different now of course. I know what works for me and those ladies whose company I enjoy and love being with. The great relationships I’ve developed with some ladies has surprised me and is something I never expected when I took the first step. 

 

Would things have been better if I had taken the time to examine in more detail exactly why I wanted to see a sex worker and what I expected from the experience? For me probably not because apart from the need for company I don’t think it would have been possible at that stage to describe it further.

 

I would say there are two types of first timers. There are the experienced punters who are making arrangements to see a different sex worker for the first time. For those punters, Scarlett’s suggestions are invaluable. For the brand, spanking new punters however, maybe don’t be afraid to be open and tell the ladies you are a virgin punter who may need a little guidance if you can’t explain, or don’t know exactly what your particular thing is.

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Scarlett B Wilde

Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

On 28/09/2019 at 8:07 AM, PlayDohBalls said:

....For the brand, spanking new punters however, maybe don’t be afraid to be open and tell the ladies you are a virgin punter who may need a little guidance if you can’t explain, or don’t know exactly what your particular thing is.

 

The danger in this type of thinking is then become "other" focused. A punter can then learn from experience that pleasure comes from the other, not from a felt sense of self. 
I agree that it's difficult to express our sexual needs as it's not something we're taught or even hear much of, yet being with another so they can sit with another and help them better understand themselves. That's really valuable. 
My concern is the educational role that porn has been pushed into PlayDoh, and then one can become activity lead instead of pleasure lead.

All in All, one will have their own experience and that's the experience that's meant to be. Don't be afraid of making mistakes. We all make mistakes. That's how we learn.

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Dave Weldon

 

On 08/10/2019 at 10:42 AM, Scarlett B Wilde said:

one can become activity lead instead of pleasure lead

 

This would make a great topic for another blog post, Ms Wilde.

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Scarlett B Wilde

Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

23 hours ago, Dave Weldon said:

 

This would make a great topic for another blog post, Ms Wilde.

 

I love your thinking !

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