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Business is Business ... Right ?!


Scarlett B Wilde

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Business is Business …. Right ?!

 

While engaging my clients I’m often asked why I started in the skin trade ?
‘No offence… You just seem soo ……sorry... doesn’t matter’


It’s actually a difficult question for anyone to name a reason. Mainly because give any proper thought longer than mere minutes, and you’ll start to see the many, many twists and turns in your life that bring you to the now.

So... I’m not a good enough writer nor even prepared to type out an epic autobiographical tome about my life, so I’ll name the moment that was the catalyst.
 

catalyst

/ˈkat(ə)lɪst/

noun

  1. a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change.
    "chlorine acts as a catalyst promoting the breakdown of ozone"

    • a person or thing that precipitates an event.
      "the prime minister's speech acted as a catalyst for debate"

 

Jill* was what I’d call a rough woman, a self made woman, a strong independent woman. She seemed head strong and determined to go with what’s what.
I’m employed to engage her and help her business thrive. She’s been in the industry for years, so she tells me, and yet I can see some bad choices have been made-  given my current understanding of the environment I find her in.
She’s moved shop yet hasn’t told anyone ?  Why ?

Still, I’m here to help her, and help her I will. Or so I thought. Aghhh Jill. That woman had balls of steel, and to get even a sniff of difference from her seemed a wasted effort.

 

Her business was in the dying stages. Having entered the last quarter, I predict she’ll close within 6 months. I was wrong. When construction happened in the local area, she lost one and half months of passing trade. Yet she was still standing. The choices she was making seemed to be directly detrimental to her business. The bigger giants of businesses had moved to a newer model of operation, followed not so long after by the independents, yet it seemed that Jill knew better. She had a wealth of knowledge, yet she didn’t seem to be able to convert this into any cash flow whatsoever.

 

So this brought us closer to her departure as she persisted in her own methods and understandings to the detriment of her business. Her income. Until now.. Somewhat her life.

 

And yet it didn’t seem to faze her. She held a quiet confidence in her standing of the very ground she walked on. I had statements, budgets, spreadsheets and real life scenarios, and yet Jill was still happy to wind up the business. 27 years in the biz. Gone. She didn’t care what others thought, needed or wanted. Including me.
She had made the decision to turn face and start a new path. I knew the proposal to her business would of been a shock, it would have been successful, yet it just wasn't Jill ...really. It wasn’t.

 

I happened to be in town the last day of her trading and took an 8 minute detour to pop in and say goodbye. I stood by as she packed the last into boxes. The interior a starkness of not much left.
My eyes absorb the surroundings as a message of failure reaches my heart.

I lean in the give Jill one last hug. I whisper “… sorry ” into her ear.
She pulls back from me with a puzzled look on her face “ Why ?“

I motion to the environment. She fires back a smirk almost immediately then her lips part  “… Don’t..”.

 

As my corporate training taught me. Learn from your mistakes. You’ve failed. You’ve failed to help the client. You’ve failed to secure a contract. Scarlett. You’ve failed.

As I drive away, on my way to my next port of call, I have a good 25 minutes to ponder my thoughts. Okay.. I’ve failed. I failed.

 

I failed.. I failed to see what Jill had. Contentment. Now in no way am I saying that Jill was unaware of some of the turmoil she faced in life, yet she was happy. Truly she was.

Where was that in my budgets ? My spreadsheets ? My incredibly sales pitchy antidotes designed to bring clients round ?
How do I measure that ? What formula can I use to bring the analytics I needed to report on ?  Where…..


 

Am I content ?


 

Am I Content ?

 

Am I  …. ?

 


 

4 years later - I’m in full time employment as an ASP. Adult Service Provider. 



 

 * Names have been changed to protect identities on living persons.





 



 

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Калашников

Posted

^^^ I don't care how anyone makes a wage, my only deal is I hope you are paying as little or no tax on those earnings...  Fuck the ATO and all the other Tax Offices.....

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CaptainDarling

Posted

Interesting read.

 

I think hindsight is a strange thing. Sometimes we use hindsight to explain the present ie I'm here because of my mistake A, B ad C, or all my success is because of my planning, striving and intellect etc.

 

Most of us discount the role of pure dumb luck, and when something lucky goes well we say it was because we were so smart, or when something goes badly we blame someone else etc

 

At the end of the day, the position we currently find ourselves in is usually a result of thousands of factors all playing a part, but some survival traits seem to always be present I think.

 

I think some people chew on the the old bones of their misfortune so much that they never appreciate what they current have and rarely look forward to finding something better.

 

I used to envy people that could just 'get over it' and 'move on', because I found it very hard to do. I realised a lot of my being 'stuck' was worrying too much about what over people think, and worry about opening myself up to their ridicule.

 

I spent some time with some carefree and contented people, and learned the trick of it.

 

Basically whenever you feel yourself worrying about what other people will say, just say “Fuck-em” a few times until you feel better. Lol

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PlayDohBalls

Posted

I can’t think of any of my friends, associates, or clients who ever asked me why I started in the industry in which I worked. And I never asked the same of them. It would never occur to me to ask why a SW chose that job. We all choose different professions; hopefully one we will enjoy and also make a decent living from.

 

I can see you had a lightbulb moment Scarlett. The same thing  happened to me quite early in my working life. Like you, circumstances intervened at the time and I took a gamble to go in a different direction. Thankfully I did and subsequently had a ripper of a career, which was  quite different from what I originally imagined it would be.

 

@CaptainDarling mentioned the role of pure dumb luck. I agree with this as it certainly played a big part in my lightbulb moment. 

 

So Scarlett, four years later and in full time employment as an ASP, I’m guessing you are now very content. 

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Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

Well Captain, I'd agree with you and the luck comment. Our circumstances are a mixture of genetics, experience, culture, feelings and .... a bit of luck. 
I can look back and see the things that helped me into this moment-  I used to sell porn to the boys at school ?!!?  When you used to have those big black chunky rectangle things, a tape or something was it ?!  The most popular option was the magazines. Yes, an actually book. Arrrr the days... 
 Any wondering that .....errrrr.... a long time later I find myself in this profession ?

And PlayDoh... Am I content ? Am I ?  I most certainly am, as I've found a space where Scarlett being Scarlett is okay. 
You may of seen that I can be a little loud, a little too talkative, a little too ..... Well that's not the mould of the corporate world. I'm no longer invested in that world, and hence I can actually look back on it fondly rather than bitch about what it was not.. It just wasn't for me.

That 4 years was nearly 6 years ago and wow have I come into myself. The joy is really that I haven't stopped learning. And this career allows me that. I see myself in relation to others and I learn more about myself every single day. What I am good at, what I am not. What I think clients see, and the reflection of the human being they see before them. 
That's a career that I'll be happy in for years to cum. As long as the clients will have me.
 

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Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

11 hours ago, Amal Alamuddin said:

^^^ I don't care how anyone makes a wage, my only deal is I hope you are paying as little or no tax on those earnings...  Fuck the ATO and all the other Tax Offices.....

 

While your comment makes me laugh, it is a bit rich to ask for equality and recognition yet not pay my dues along the way ?


Do I jump up and down about paying taxes.... arrrrggg.... yet we have the roads to look after. Hospitals that anyone can go to. Anyone.
We have a police, ambulance and fire force to attend to the needs of the general public. Speaking of public we have schools that are gearing up the next generation that will hold the chalice while I sit my own piss, rocking in my chair, as I whinge about the younger generation leaving us old people in homes...

Hehhehehehee...

 

Appreciate your contribution Amal.

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Калашников

Posted

1 hour ago, Scarlett B Wilde said:

 

While your comment makes me laugh, it is a bit rich to ask for equality and recognition yet not pay my dues along the way ?


Do I jump up and down about paying taxes.... arrrrggg.... yet we have the roads to look after. Hospitals that anyone can go to. Anyone.
We have a police, ambulance and fire force to attend to the needs of the general public. Speaking of public we have schools that are gearing up the next generation that will hold the chalice while I sit my own piss, rocking in my chair, as I whinge about the younger generation leaving us old people in homes...

Hehhehehehee...

 

Appreciate your contribution Amal.

 

Yep if you can find a way to make others pay then well done... 

 

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JustinCaseItsBroken

Posted

Interesting story Scarlett!

 

These days I believe free will is an illusion and it’s a person’s history, environment and genetics determine exactly what she’ll do at any given moment whether it’s blow her nose or embark on a career as an ASP.

 

This means that when a person is asked why she did something, a narrative needs to be invented that fits the facts of her life and the image of the woman she’d like to be.

 

Do you give a range of different answers to different punters?

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Sometimes people can have difficulty changing direction in life. If they are lucky they will be happy and continue to be so. Others will be unhappy but find change is even worse so they will stay in a relationship, or avoid relationships or avoid changing jobs.

 

Jill seems to be in the category where she is happy and unchanging but the world is going to pass her by, and she has been forced to change and that will cause unhappiness. Maybe less happy than if she had taken the initiative and modified her business. 

 

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Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

On 19/06/2019 at 5:29 PM, JustinCaseItsBroken said:

These days I believe free will is an illusion and it’s a person’s history, environment and genetics determine exactly what she’ll do at any given moment whether it’s blow her nose or embark on a career as an ASP.

 

This means that when a person is asked why she did something, a narrative needs to be invented that fits the facts of her life and the image of the woman she’d like to be.

 

Do you give a range of different answers to different punters?

 

I give the same answer, yet considering whom I'm with, I will adjust the length or omit details of said story.
Some will ask out of politeness and aren't after a detailed answer, and then there's the regular whom I know quite well and feel they're genuinely interested in the how, what, where and when.

Too true that life isn't just our decisions, yet our reactions to situations that arise through life that are beyond our control are.
To me, life is a lot like a poker game. I can't effect the cards I'm dealt, yet I can have an effect on the way I react to those deals. A shit hand can still win, when a skilled player is at the table.

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Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

On 19/06/2019 at 6:17 PM, bushmaster said:

Sometimes people can have difficulty changing direction in life. If they are lucky they will ....

 

"I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."
- Thomas Jefferson 

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14 hours ago, Scarlett B Wilde said:

 

"I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."
- Thomas Jefferson 

 

Yes, but there is always a luck component.I've been lucky through working hard, I've also been unlucky through no fault of my own, just bad genetics. Maybe I should have worked harder to get better parents.

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Scarlett B Wilde

Posted

I believe the quote I offered gave space for that.
Sometimes in the bad, is the opportunity. How you play with that opportunity is within your control.

I've found some of the most encouraging people in my life are the one's that, despite a disability, and living in a world full of ableism, a man with no legs can climb a mountain or crawl the Kokoda trail.
That's truly a great example of said quote.

It makes me think of the opportunities I miss that are afforded to me.

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