A working girl talks about The BoyFriend Experience™
What the hell is the boyfriend experience ?
First it’s best to add bit of back story..
As a working girl for quite a few years now, I’ve seen the industry change and vary in many interesting, and to be honest, challenging ways. As I’ve listened to my old-skool sisters of their days ‘walkin’ the Cross’, I am struck by which- while laws around sex work makes the occupation difficult at times- today more than any other time, the sex industry operates with remarkable ease. Ease in finding the product or service, ease in which said product or service is delivered, and also access into, and acceptance of, use of said product or service.
With this ‘ease’ also comes the side effect of ‘consumerism’. The idea that money can, and let's be honest does, buy *virtually anything. In the world of the independent escort it will buy the time, skill set and dedication of the service provider. The provider is expected to perform to a certain level of competence and is expected to ‘give their all’ that is possible within the means and constraints that the provider finds themselves in. I pay the escort, I expect them to give me 100%.
As an escort myself I totally agree with this mindset and wish for my clients to get the best ‘bang for buck’ when they spend time with me.
Yet I’ve been struck how, in maybe the last 4-5 years things like voicemails are no longer left when a missed call from a potential client is placed. Communication seems to be less warm and one sided, and a general reluctance to engage with the service provider makes the task of providing outstanding service quite difficult, as the clients seems to take a very passive stance on what is quite frankly, a very human, and intimate experience / service.
The area I hear the most difficult in is the GirlFriend Experience. While I have my own thoughts and ideals of what this marketing term means, in practicality it’s industry speak for a set of circumstances and services offered within the time together. Namely, passionate kissing, a genuine warm and smooth exchange, a slower and somewhat more sensual exchange of physicality, with the ethic to speak none ill of the other partner.
For an exchange such as this to come about, within the environment there should be warmth and invitation, on both sides. The issue of contention here is that if I as a female escort I am to play the ‘girlfriend’, you as a possible male client will have to play the ‘boyfriend’. For this to happen it would pay to consider the others needs as well.
To passively enter a room, place money on a counter, lie on the bed and expect the other to make up for two would be incredibly challenging for the provider, and any chance of successful engagement is near nil as the client isn’t open to any warmth as they aren’t offering their own.
Consumerism rears its head when it’s thought that in the exchange of money, came a certain drop in engagement or presence on their behalf. This is dangerous thinking due mainly to the financial aspect of the exchange. If you’re to pay hundreds of dollars in an exchange for an experience that is at least hopefully successful and by all standards, memorable, then being present and active during the exchange is bound to bring a more enjoyable time together.
And let’s also speak of the obvious. The nature of this exchange, while fuelled and brought into the market as a very human desire, is a business transaction. So while a power balance has been introduced within the area of participation - one party is now obligated to engage for the duration of the interaction- my personal experience of myself and other service providers I’ve chatted with, we’re more than happy to as our immediate needs are taken care of within the financial exchange. Essentially you’ve ‘bought me’ and my presence, so take full advantage of this.
Now let’s not forget that the presence and engagement of the client will have an effect on how the time spent together goes. I’ve found within the consumerism of today, a ‘fix it’ attitude is introduced into the engagement. The idea that money can buy away any responsibility.
Hey doctor I'm feeling sick, fix me.
Hey therapist, I’m not well, fix me.
Hey trainer, I’m stiff & unfit, fix me.
The likelihood of success from any of the above mentioned scenarios is that if you actively participate and get behind the services of the provider, you’ll realise that work needs to be done on your end as well for a successful outcome to occur.
Doctor's give medications to help heal the body, yet the body actually heals itself. Any instructions in changes of lifestyle only enhance the chance of success.
A therapist may guide you as you seek to find peace within yourself, yet most if not all work will be done with the soul searching you do within yourself.
A trainer can shout and teach exercises yet consistency of pushing one’s self to further limits, yields the success of a fitter, healthier body.
Millions are made every year off services, which seemly add ‘quick’, ‘easy’ options to those that may be just a little too lazy to truly get anything meaningful out of the exchange they find themselves in. Fad diets, Get rich schemes, and devices which enhance and make ‘life easier’ are certainly brilliant cash cows for the businesses that born them, yet the client will probably look back after the expense and think that the idea to engage in such a manner won't really yield desired outcomes in the long term.
So… the BoyFriend Experience
While I have my own thoughts and ideals of what this marketing term means, in practicality it’s industry speak for a set of circumstances and services offered within the time together. Namely, passionate kissing, a genuine warm and smooth exchange, a slower and somewhat more sensual exchange of physicality, with the ethic to speak none ill of the other partner.