“Hey! Not much.... about to go to work.... what’s up? Is Alex being a fuckbag again?”
I wasn’t really sure what to reply so I kept it relatively simple.
“I want you” I got a reply back within seconds.
“Want me for what?” I wrote back quickly without even thinking.
My social retardation kicked in around about now. What the fuck was he talking about? At this point, I still hadn’t gathered exactly what he was getting at. I initially thought he was setting me up.
I didn’t reply to anything else until I got to work. I met Ivy at the door and off we went to the outside area like two giggling schoolgirls. I reluctantly handed my phone to her, she grinned and told me to trust her “This is going to be HILARIOUS” she said.
A few back and fourth messages ended with “Ill see you tonight at 8 x” It was set. Ivy had pimped me out for our own amusement. I was impressed but petrified.
“Now come inside. We need to get every bit of hair off your body” she grabbed my hand and we shuffled back inside.
I hadn’t heard from Alex all day, which seemed strange so I would randomly go into a panic thinking I was being set up. What if I get there and he’s there as well wanting a gangbang? Jesus, my mind raced all day long. The afternoon was a blur.
The last thing I remember was waving goodbye to the girls in the car park and them virtually applauding me as I drove out the drive way. Like my own personal cheer squad.
I pulled up next to Ivy who assured me I’d be fine. “Alex fucked this guys daughter” she reminded me. “It’s time to show those fuckers whose boss”.
Operation “Sex with a trollops father” had begun.
It was roughly 7pm when my phone buzzed. It was Alex.
“Can I come over?”
“Nah, I’m tired as, I’ll see you tomorrow”
No reply. Didn’t care. Fuck off mate.
I nervously drove to the agreed meeting point. I was looking over my shoulder like I was about to commit a crime but a big part of me was confident. This shy chubby girl from the southeastern suburbs scrubs up all right when she puts her mind to it. I also was as hairless as a sphynx cat. Cheers to my ladies at the whorehouse.
I noticed Peter’s car instantly then I noticed him leaning against the bonnet having a cigarette. “Ew...” was my initial thought. I fucking hate smokers. But I wasn’t there to marry the guy, let’s face it.
I got out of my car like something you’d see in the movies. Hair flick, slow-mo, “I’m hot, come get some” sorta thing. I bet I looked retarded but at this point, I felt as desirable as a Victoria’s Secret model.
Eye contact was made and before I knew it, we were engaging in some soft porn on the bonnet of his car. He didn’t even buy me dinner, the rude prick. It was almost like he had a wife and kids to go home to................
Jokes aside........ Engaging in coitus in a public place is illegal I believe so we (with all our class) jumped into the backseat of his car. There wasn’t even a moment of awkwardness until I found my leg stuck between the door and his daughters horse saddle.
“That’s Sarah’s....she constantly leaves shit in my...” “I don’t care” I cut him off.
After all, I was about to leave my scent in his car so who was I to judge? Haha!
So the wonderful 46-second service ol mate Peter provided was a let down but I don’t think I’ve ever felt so satisfied in all my life. It was a type self gratification I’d never experienced before. And wouldn’t again...... until a lousy 48 hours later when I found myself in Peters marital bed. Yes I went back for seconds.... and thirds the following night. Talk about cocky.
A week or so later, I forced myself to spend time with Alex. I would have much rathered watch grass grow but never the less; off to the shops we went like a “happy” couple.
I tolerated him even though he was the biggest douche bag in the world. He was ass kissing something hard so I played along - whatever mate. I banged ya side chicks dad, who’s the real winner?
I was getting bored at the shops so I was about to txt Ivy to give me an SOS call. “Quickly Mariah, something bad has happened” kind of thing. I needed an escape.
That was until in the isle that ironically stocked condoms and lube, we ran into Alex’s side chick and you guessed it, her darling father Peter.
“Hey....” Alex chimed towards them.
My heart was pounding. I actually owned this whole situation and everyone in it. I’ve got the POWWWAAAA.
“Hey Mariah, sorry, Can I just have a talk to you quickly?” Sarah had the audacity to ask.
“Sure thing” I replied, confidently
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry for the whole me and Alex thing...” she waved her fingers back and fourth towards her and Alex as if to really point out that they’ve fucked each other behind my back.
I glanced over at Peter who seemed as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He was so nervous his ball sack would have been sweating.
I sniggered. Actually it was more of a snort. She was actually serious.
“Yeah nah that’s cool.....” I said with a smile. “I hope we’re cool about the whole me and your dad thing”
I dropped the basket of groceries and gave all three of them the two finger salute as I walked away.
But I wasn’t done. I had a fire burning deep within. Possibly an STI I caught off Peter but most probably the desire to ensure they all knew exactly what went down 72 hours prior....... (down being the operative word)
I turned back around and stopped. I held my fingers like a “V” over my mouth and licked the air. “I hope you changed the sheets, Petey boy. I squirted everywhere!”
And I walked out as if I had just dropped an atomic bomb on all of them. Which I suppose I did.