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Premature ejaculation - my 2 cents

Anya Sonder


blog-0730397001472778846.jpgPremature Ejaculation


Hitting the ejector button to early is probably more common than you realise - especially if you are young, or its just been a while since you’ve had sex. Its a cause of worry for so many men and even if a guy does work up the courage to see his GP about it, it often gets brushed off or not adequately addressed. My recommendation: see an empathetic sex worker.


Many clients are worried about cumming to soon during a date. The anxiety alone can be enough to distract you from actually enjoying what is going on. There can be a knife edge between trying not to cum and losing your erection completely. If you get one thing out of this it is this: sex workers get it - we know the internal pressure on a gentleman can be immense - we’ve seen it more than you think. The strategies of ‘knocking one off’ before a booking, or ‘getting one orgasm out of the way’ right at the beginning of the booking are both great ideas for a gent that doesn’t have trouble getting and sustaining another erection.


Whats causing your problem?


Is it physical or psychological? There are some medical conditions that can cause premature ejaculation. An enlarged prostate or a problem with your nervous system could be the culprit and should be ruled out. You may be under a lot of relationship or other stress. You may have an extremely sensitive penis that over-responds to being stimulated.


What can be done?


Obviously medical causes need to be addressed. A prostate check would seem an obvious (if not always pleasant) place to start. For the right person, drugs such as antidepressants can help to delay orgasm - but frequently a side effect of these can be reduced sex drive. Some people find the combination of antidepressants and a Viagra / Cialis work wonders to improve erection and delay orgasm. For the ultra sensitive cock, condoms, desensitising gels and a firm mastubatory technique (although this should be done with care) can help.


How a sex worker can help


All the advice in the world is no good without practise. Finding the right sex worker for you (it may be a tantric practitioner, a massage with a ‘happy ending’ or a full service escort) can work wonders. I would recommend reading through profiles and contacting someone who’s write up resonates with you. I would then recommend an initial booking to see if you ‘click’. After that, commit to something like 6 sessions in a 1 - 2 month period. During a booking you may start with a massage and just enjoying the sensation of having a naked body sliding up and down yours. If you start to get too excited, focus on a spot between your belly button and your penis and ask your worker to slow down. If you do happen to cum - its no big deal, but try to focus on say looking at her breasts and not associating them with sex.


At some stage, the attention needs to be placed wholly on your cock. Bringing you to the edge and then stopping you from reaching the point of climax. Sex workers will have plenty of techniques for this. You also need to start exercising your pelvic floor - a lot of people do this incorrectly. Its a feeling lifting of your testes up towards your body but without squeezing other surrounding muscles excessively. Practise it and if need be, get your technique checked (I would say this is probably out of the realm of most sex workers and a lot of GPs - send me an email if you want some direction on this).


Practise whatever part of sexual connection causes you to climax. If it is penetration, work up to that point (condom on of course) and squeeze the base of your cock with your fingers and activate your pelvic floor as you enter. Practise it again and again. Get a fleshlight for practise at home.


Try not to let anxiety overwhelm you. Yes, you want to please your partner. We can help you with that too but it may not be the focus right now, depending on what your immediate goal is. Focussing on too many stresses is not going to help. Give yourself permission to deal with it step by step. Try to enjoy the process even. Focus on progress, even if it is just that you held off a bit longer this time. And if you reach the point of no return, a good worker isn’t going to judge you or care at all. We get it.


Recommended Comments

Thanks for the well written blog post. You sound like a lovely person to work with. It's a shame you are based in SA.

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Thanks guys - I do plan to visit Melbourne one day - just need to get my head around the laws there

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Thanks Anya, apart from the possible medical implications, it's good to let men know it's generally a pretty common issue. I personally feel more comfortable in a session when I know that the machine has had a test run before commissioning. Btw I don't call it the machine, it's Randall Jr.

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There is a Tantric technique to delay a male orgasm. Grasp the scrotum (between the balls), and pull it downwards when he feels close to cumming. Don't pull it down to the point that it causes pain though.

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