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THE TURNING OF THE WORM


Kampot

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A number of factors came together to bring on the turning: approaching 50, the kids largely grown up, my wife largely over her long term illness. Plus my sugarbabe/girlfriend-with-an-allowance who is poly amorous insisted my wife know and consent to a second relationship. (not sure if that is standard in SD/SB relationships but anyway seemed fair enough). In my mind an intimate relationship with a younger woman and a comfortable friendship with my wife seems natural and seems to work well in African society.

 

Anyway my wife was not at all happy with me turning all ‘poly’ and was a bit shocked at the extent of my punting over the years. She thinks we have a pretty good marriage and is now feeling a lack of trust. But for the first time in 17 years of marriage she is no longer taking me for granted or treating me as an idiot slave boy and seems to have miraculously discovered her libido. This is a bit of an adjustment for me as I have done my grieving for the loss of an intimate relationship and come to accept a platonic marriage as something still worthwhile.

 

Possibly it’s all a bit too-little too-late. Possibly it may turn very pear shaped. Possibly I may end up old and alone as my wife says. But sometimes things need stirring up and I feel a quiet satisfaction that the day has finally come for this worm to turn.

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You only live once and you are a long time dead.....

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An update :  It was glorious while it lasted but the revolution has been crushed.  Still you have to admire the tactical brilliance of my wife when she decided to fight back; first shock and awe by supplying me with more spectacular sex than she has provided in the last 10 years of marriage, she then saw off the younger woman, then got my parents (who have always thought I could do no wrong) on side. 

 

Now just the mopping up.  I have to read a book “Mutual healing- After the affair” and do some sort of atonement and see a councillor about my sex addiction. I think my wife realises I’m not going to take it very seriously.

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If i was a man trapped in a sexless Marriage. I would approach wifey and tell her she should start offering more sex or I am going to stray. Doing this before you stray means you are still the good guy as you haven't cheated but at the same time she will know the consequences if she doesn't start offering more sex soon. 

 

I have always had suspicions that if men did this then their wives would suddenly give them more attention as they know the consequences. 

 

I think the Main reason why so many are trapped in sexless marriages is because the woman thinks their man will never stray no matter what.

 

sex workers are less Naive to think a man without sex won't stray.

 

I notice whenever I read stuff about sex workers online. I always see a bunch of women commenting on how they think their nice loving husbands will never stray without sex. I think this is the root problem on why some women do not think sex is important because they think their nice husbands will just put up with it and never cheat.

 

Maybe the solution is to make it clear that you will stray if there is no improvement?

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Bobsquarepants

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My wife is a mirror image, It wasn't that there was no sex, it just had no passion, as time went along I felt she was doing it just as a duty so I treated her that way too. When she found out about my punting & yeah the passion returned but as you say too little too late I just cant get fired up by her anymore.

 

I am going to die a lonely but somewhat happy man knowing I did what I wanted to do most my whole life. That is fuck as many beautiful women as I can before I die.

 

I often asked myself why I had this urge & found the answer in a book called "Sex at Dawn" by Christopher Ryan. We are creatures wired for pleasure  & not a life of boredom with one person as the fairytales would have us believe. Women will never understand men & vice versa. Society has created a life style that just does not fit with our inner most desires & instincts.

 

I wish I had started punting much earlier, but opportunity wasn't available like it is now.

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