A number of factors came together to bring on the turning: approaching 50, the kids largely grown up, my wife largely over her long term illness. Plus my sugarbabe/girlfriend-with-an-allowance who is poly amorous insisted my wife know and consent to a second relationship. (not sure if that is standard in SD/SB relationships but anyway seemed fair enough). In my mind an intimate relationship with a younger woman and a comfortable friendship with my wife seems natural and seems to work well in African society.
Anyway my wife was not at all happy with me turning all ‘poly’ and was a bit shocked at the extent of my punting over the years. She thinks we have a pretty good marriage and is now feeling a lack of trust. But for the first time in 17 years of marriage she is no longer taking me for granted or treating me as an idiot slave boy and seems to have miraculously discovered her libido. This is a bit of an adjustment for me as I have done my grieving for the loss of an intimate relationship and come to accept a platonic marriage as something still worthwhile.
Possibly it’s all a bit too-little too-late. Possibly it may turn very pear shaped. Possibly I may end up old and alone as my wife says. But sometimes things need stirring up and I feel a quiet satisfaction that the day has finally come for this worm to turn.