Christmas is reputed to be a happy time but I always struggle with it.
It often seems my family stores their petty grievances and disappointments up all year, so then they can drink too much and then have a lovely shout at each other. Or their other weapon of choice, the long moody silences, tempered with overeating and hangovers.
We have some family friends we usually see that are Churchy, and their desire to drunkenly thump the piano keys and murder songs at this festive time of year makes me wonder if doing the time inside for Common Assault would all be worth it.
As a punter I'm frequently a bit in love with several lovely young Asian ladies at any one time. But we all know they won't be sitting around my table for Christmas dinner. I do want them to be breaking bread with me and mine though.
And I now know at least one beautiful WL may like to be included in my Christmas lunch plans somehow.
Recently I accidental made love to a sex worker. We spent some time together and had a talk about her recent bratty behaviour. She responded that my confidence comes off as arrogance and she doesn't like to be bossed around. Fair enough. It's not the first time people have told me this. Hymmmm. A learning opportunity for me eh?
As this new understanding between us blossomed we discussed her plans for the coming year and what were my plans for the Christmas break.
She sells me sex, so I after a while I offered to buy some of it off her today. The line was very blurred though, and now to me it was all shades of grey, so I said “What's better, I go now and come back on a different day for the sex, or should we just get naked and go for it? Would that be ok do you think”?
“Today is ok. That's fine. Very ok in fact”
We shower (me first) and then something new, she's become shy. She comes out of the shower and wraps herself in the towel and is clearly a bit off her game.
There's some hymming and giggling. Some sidelong glances.
She sits on the bed with her back to me and she's still wrapped in her towel.
My sword is poised. It's been ready for the quick cut and thrust of some close quarters action for quite a while now.
She takes a deep breath, drops the towel and we get started.
It goes well I think.
Later I need to leave and she has gone very very soft.
We quietly chat a little at the door and then I slowly reach for her. She slowly comes to my arms and I hold her gently close to my body. Her eyes are moist. Mine as well.
I make a joke about getting a parking ticket soon and she laughs and quickly gives me her Christmas list. The usual stuff, an iPhone 6, fancy perfume, a fancy handbag, a car!
I laugh and promise to get her none of those things.
She laughs and says “I know! You're cheap! And a Stalker!”
I drive home imagining Christmas dinner with her seated next to my father while my mother asks her how she met me.
Christmas is a bad time for a punter I think. Many of us longer-term hobbyists have secret people in our lives, people that we naturally and normally have some feelings for. But other parts of our lives have seem to have partitions or dividers that separate the floating world from real-life.
Anyhoo, I don't have the answers I need, so all I'm committing to at this stage is I promise to keep looking for a happy healthy way through XMAS to January.