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Do punters 'fall' for WL's? Or do you just want discounts? Why?


angel-baybe monet

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So...

 

I guess this post *may* offend a few people. I'm only speaking from my opinion, my truth and my personal experience. I've been in the industry since I was 18 years old. Receptionist/ Stripper/ Hostess in Japan/ Escort in agency/ Independant Escort now. This is a rant/questioning/thoughts about the times when your client wants to see you for 'free'...

 

 

 

Since I had my first Sugar Daddy I came up with a theory.

 

My theory is the 3-6 month 'SDT'. Much worse than an 'STI'...It's the 'Sugar Daddy Theory'. It's kind of like this...

 

The Honeymoon period is now...when you first meet your new regular/client/sugar daddy... where you've got to cut and run. You have 3-6 months of 'good times'. 'Good times' is:

-Paying correctly and even tipping

-gifting

-fringe benefits

-never overstepping the boundaries

 

Now..he WILL fall in love or if he doesn't, he will eventually ask for 'guilt-emotionally-driven' discounts in exchange for your time.

 

After the 3 months (wait 6 months if you don't see each other frequently/less than once a week)...this is what happens:

 

-more frequent txts (from the man)

-more requests for 'catching up' (from the man, with less cash donations involved)

-the man wanting to gift you in ways which are not financial (I don't WANT perfume and shoes. I am NOT that type of girl). Plus 'good' clients are not necessarily the ones who tip or bring gifts. Often they are. But sometimes tippers or gift-bearers do this because they know they’re difficult to deal with and are trying to smooth the way. For most escorts, a man is a good client because of the quality of his company and him respecting the value of her time, and not the quality of his material gifts.

 

Always.

Happens.

 

 

I knew it was coming...it came from the Strip Club with my regs... it came with every single Sugar Daddy (you know how many I've made cry cos I've told them I won't see them anymore?). I knew it would happen with (a select few) of my private clients.

 

And it has begun.

 

But you're always going to come up against people who take things personally and have inappropriate boundaries in life. You just need to reinforce those boundaries. For yourself. And for others.

 

 

It's emotionally draining. I would rather NOT get fringe benefits, and have people who pay and see the value of my time. That's it. Simple.

 

 

I really love my clientele. Hey, I love my shrink too! And my Dr's pretty awesome! ..However, I don't call them up and say

 

'let's hangout, I'd really love to catchup over lunch, we always have such good conversations..!'

 

and then if we did 'shoot the breeze', I would pay them for it.

 

Just like I pay a stripper when I talk to her at a strip club (GUYS TAKE NOTE). Even just give her a $10 tip if you chat for 5minutes and don't get a lapdance (....don't ask to buy her a drink, again, we can get that ourselves, cheers).

 

A good client is respectful of an escort’s time. He doesn’t waste her time with endless e-mails/phone calls before meeting (unless she openly encourages the correspondence). He doesn’t waste her time with numerous cancellations and rescheduling. He doesn’t break an appointment without calling first. He is on time for appointments; not early, not late. Nor does he try to extend his allotted time with her (he can ask, but she may have other plans). If she doesn’t like last-minute appointments, or appointments on certain days/times, he doesn’t make those requests.

In short, a good client treats an escort’s time as valuable to her; much as his time is probably valuable to him.

 

 

I want to know... why do punters do it? (Not the time thing, I think that's just Society. I'm talking, why do you pay and then not want to pay? Why do you think she would be okay with that? It's her 'job'. You know that, right?)

Do you ask for discounts cos it's human nature to?

Cos you can?

Cos you think the woman is emotionally involved..?

 

 

 

(The best clients I've ever had? See the list below:

_Cokehead sugar daddy. Lived large, never fucked me (though I would've loved him to-he just couldnt cos of medical issues). We just did loads of fetish stuff and swingers parties. Bought me an apartment, not clingy at all

_Portuguese Sugar Daddy. Would fly me overseas once a month, worked like a motherfucker and shagged me soooo good! Again, non clingy. Kept boundaries, would even encourage me to 'work' while with him and after he'd paid me

_stripping client. Would get me to bite him hard in lapdances. We spoke philosophy in between biting. He paid and tipped. Above and beyond. ...and there have been loads of others, which i can't describe as they have double lives...

 

 

The funny thing is---For some psychological reason unknown to me, this makes me work harder at making them care. People who are LESS clingy and NEVER ask for discounts are the people I'd do ANYTHING for and GIVE discounts to! (oOOPS, overshare?)

 

 

It's not 'ask and ye shall receive'. It's just stick to the appropriate boundaries. Look, I'm not saying treat me like a living sex-doll. Just.....punt within budget and there are plenty of variation with prices and girls around to do so. And if you like me and want to see me.....well, maybe reduce the time we're together? (once a month insetead of once a week if you cannot afford it)

I dunno, I'm sorry, I'm not your budget planner :(

 

 

...Really interested to hear honest thoughts.

...Not interested in hearing working-lady bashings

...I AM interested in the psychology behind this, it's ALWAYS something I've struggled with, so would love to know more about what your personal experience with this situation is

 

Maybe to get you started...

 

-Ever met a stripper you fell in love with? What happened?

-Ever fallen for an escort or parlour lady? How did that go?

 

I've got to go be pretty and date---

Goodnight!

 

 

XXX Looking forward to hearing what people have to say

 

Angel Baybe Monet

 

 

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I can only speak for myself so perhaps this answer will drift off topic a little bit.

 

I personally could not afford to to see a PWL very often. I could have lots of a little bit of sex - visiting parlours for short periods - or a little bit of lots of sex/companionship with a PWL. I prefer the latter however from experience it can get a little difficult post-session. Not because I have fallen in love with her personally but that companionship is missing from my life and has been for a long time so there is a little bit of difficulty transitioning back to loneliness for a while.

 

I'm on a modest wage so showering a lady with gifts is just not happening from me. I will break bank and sacrifice my own budget that I have to live on for something as a show of gratitude but it will generally only be something that she herself has mentioned and is genuinely as a thank you, nothing to do with "okay I bought you this present now you owe me free sex" that's just stupid. I don't want to play mind games.

 

I would never ask for a discount. I would never ask for a freebie. I would never guilt-trip a WL in to giving me something. That's just me. I know what it is between us and where the boundary is however if a lady does ever offer me a discount or a freebie I will graciously accept and she can expect a special thank you in return.

 

I don't know how to word this next part correctly so bare with me until the end.

 

I think that, in a way, I have fallen for a PWL. Not fallen in love with her but fallen for the situation, do you know what I mean? My private life comes from a long line of fuck up after fuck up and void of any meaningful contact with a woman for a few years now. All of a sudden I can see a beautiful lady who makes me feel good about myself and genuinely seems to think I am an OK person. But I know where the boundary is. I don't text message her first unless I am asking to request a booking. She texts messages me sweet little messages and I do reply but that's as far as non-booking communication goes. I know what it is and what the boundaries are. I'm pretty sure she is going to stop seeing me soon anyway, things aren't great in life right now and I've let out some feelings on facebook (not relating to her) and she doesn't need shit like that, but I digress...

 

I last went to a strip club about 2 years ago and spent about an hour-and-a-half with a lady in a private show. I do wonder if she is still around, Czech girl at Showgirls lol never fell in love with her but I dropped a weeks wage on her that night (was making more money back then) and she told me what days and time she was at the club. Never went back though.

 

Hope that makes sense and was some semblance of an answer you were looking for.

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CaptainDarling

Posted

 

Hymm. A bit of an interesting ramble from you, so I'll address it with a bit of a ramble of my own, and hope you can find what you need in whatever opinions I manage to put out.

 

Sweeping generalisations time:

 

I fall in love with people fairly easily and I see this as a strength. I have known the love of a few good women and they taught me some good stuff.

 

I seen that love takes many forms and that the starry-eyed, unthinking fiery love of youth or puberty burns and hurts as much as it gives pleasure.

 

Clingy love where one person “owns” the other, and basically purchases a piece of their soul each day is an evil and despicable thing. I can't possibly end well because if she gives it all up he will will most likely grow complacent in his arrangement and then leave someone else guarding it. An example might be a powerful man puts a lot of effort into wooing a beautiful woman. Once she is cowed/hypnotised, he marries her and gets her pregnant asap. He leaves her at home to raise his dynasty while he goes off and sleeps with his receptionist daily.

 

People are Hunters or Farmers in my opinion.

 

Perhaps if you are more a Hunter type you can happily respect the independence of a non-clingy man. Perhaps you recognise some of yourself when you look into his eyes. Perhaps this means a connection forms rapidly and well, and you feel you can be more “open” with him, more the-real-you, without surrounding yourself with structure to protect yourself from creeps.

 

 

A man is used to paying for everything. If a man wants sex he knows it will cost. Maybe if he wants it will see he needs to marry a lady first.

 

If a man wants a happy home he knows it will cost.

 

Shallow people will see everything has a price. Shallow people will try to buy their way out of drama or complications with gifts and favours. In my experience people with this deal-or-no-deal mentality get very anxious and confused when their partner has principles that can't be bought.

 

I suppose I guy that is evolving away from pay-for-play is likely to move towards a more “signature-move” approach. He wants to be the special guy in your life, but is not willing to declare commitment or love, or attempt to end the financial nature of the relationship by marrying you.

 

So what does he do?

 

He tests the relationship with some gifts.

 

A gift that says, money is very impersonal and my money looks just like the money the other guys are giving you.

 

Instead here is a gift such as clothes, perfume, or an apartment. Perhaps his head is thinking, when you are using the gift you are thinking of me, more so than if you put the money I give you in a big wad and pay for stuff that you pick out for yourself.

 

So to me all this gift buying business is a form of the “Clingy Love” I mentioned before. He has your soul on lay-buy, and the value and frequency of the gifts will express how long he has calculated it will be before he owns your arse forever :D

 

With children and an the workplace there is the concept of inappropriate touching.

 

I believe there needs to be the concept of inappropriate gifting ;)

 

Good luck with it though.

 

Hugs

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Wow I think I have to read ur post again to digest you should write a book.

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

Thanks Mal, I really see that point in gifting as being more personal and a form of 'clingy love'. I like that idea...

 

Thankyou for sharing X

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

It sounds like you stick to the boundaries and comfort levels within your established relationships Anunnaki :)

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Fluffy Numbers

Posted

Interesting blog.. first off this is mike, the tickle cuddle spoon!!

 

I admit in my early days of frequenting a strip club every week I was taken by the a few of the strippers' charms a misread their hustling techniques! It is possible I had a crush on one! Each week I would have at least two dances with her, sometimes three, buy her numerous drinks. And she gave me lots of affection knowing it would buy more dances! I don't think I loved her though. At this club I would often sit down with the strippers and chat with them for hours on end, so in a way it felt like friends, even though they would only chat because I was a regular and they knew it would get dances. Now I have stopped going, these girls no longer chat to me! Except one girl, who has kept in touch. She often smses me asking for advice or asks how I am going. I see her as a friend.

 

That brings me to my next point. I am guilty of talking to escorts and strippers outside sessions sometimes, but not to extreme. Sometimes I"ll talk to them on PP chat or twitter, but won't send them heaps of texts. I am also not one to cancel appointments too either, as it has happened to me a few times and I know what its like!

 

I don't think I have ever really fallen in love with an escort. Some I have really valued as they have helped me grow as a person and some I have even seen as friends to an extent, although a different type of friend to a friend in the real world. I don't book escorts to get a gf. I like the punting world as I can try different girls and see what type of girls I like, so that when the time comes for a gf I will get a better idea.

 

As for discounts, I don't ask them, but as I am into non FS sessions sometimes I ask them if they offer a non FS session such as massage and hand relief as many do.

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

..I have a story...rather a memory...

 

Myself storming out of a Sydney apartment with all my things, posting the keys to my Sugar Daddy because I just didnt WANT to feel 'owned' anymore.

 

Our relationship started off great: French champagne at sublime restaurants..Hong Kong getaways.. he would always pay me more than I ever asked...

 

and then I knew..he became resentful..slowly, gradually..over time... so much so, that the 'fringe benefits' were what I was supposedly meant to be grateful for.

 

It was my fault too. The transaction had morphed over time, and I bent to his 'conditions' of our 'relationship'. Then I realised that NONE of it was benefitting me. (I don't even LIKE fancy apartments? I'd rather live in a warehouse with a ton of flatmates I can play vinyl with and keep around as my fun chosen family)

 

Not just the monetary aspect. But it was emotionally draining without the benefits of a 'proper' relationship.

 

So glad I ended it when I did. It's no offense to people, to my clients, I can connect with them and like them- A LOT. Even love them. Yes, I do love a lot of my clients. But there is fantasy world and reality and there is compatability and chemistry.

 

It's much like when I was a teacher and couldn't 'have my favourites'.

 

It's respect, basically

 

X

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

You would definetly be her friend then Mike :)

 

I keep in touch with ONE guy from dancing and no matter how sexy/fun/nice/rich I think the guy is, I NEVER go there. Too much blurring personal and professional.

 

I would only cross the boundary with a true friend.

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Firstly, ange-baybe monet like vinyl as well? You just went up a notch to me ha ha ha Vinyl is why I am perennially broke.

 

I do keep to my boundaries and comfort level. Jumping out of that comfort level can be daunting, like seeing a WL for the first time but it is worth it in the end.

 

Money literally means nothing to me. I think it is the most despicable thing in existance so personally I have no problem with giving a gift to somebody I care about. It's not because I want to attempt to buy her or keep her it's just a case of I don't care about it, I care about you, so here's something for you because I care. That's a double edged sword because it can be interpreted as attempting to buy a woman off if done too frequently.

 

But I wouldn't let that mentality cross over in to WL relationships because that crosses boundaries and as much some WL's might love receiving gifts it would get to a point where it comes across as more than a no strings attached generous gift, which is what I think you're getting at.

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

skipurple

 

I write here and there, but more musings than anything worthy of a book.

 

However, you can read my weekly posts (written realtime a couple of years ago, each day of my time as an ex-hooker,) from when I attempted to exit the industry-

 

http://baybemonet.tumblr.com/

 

Thankyou and enjoy your evening X

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

Tunes-music-records-vinly = MY LIFE :) :) :)

 

Money is energy. It's not a 'bad' thing. Individual perceptions make it so.

With money, I can do a LOT of things and serve my community and a greater number of people.

I give regularly to charity..I have orphanages overseas I assist in funding... I volunteer, (because I am able to work less). I would not be able to serve so much without money. It's all about choosing how to see it. Like anything.

 

Yes, I think 'gifting' as opposed to/in place of 'money' is what does not appeal to me. Ie. It is a service. My company/TIME/sex/conversation etc is the service. Whether you wish to take me out for dinner, or fuck me, what you choose to do in that time, is the service, and you pay X amount for that.

Eg. I don't go to my DR and say 'here, thanks for the lovely consultation. I got you this nice card and a bottle of perfume as payment'.

 

Good example:

One of my favourite clients paid for our date/time together. Then he also gave me his shirt (which I cherish and wear every week. I love men t-shirts heheheh). Note not giving me shirt and dinner INSTEAD of payment.

 

It's just a boundary which is easier to cross and blue as opposed to other industries.

 

XXX

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Seems to me if you talk about these things too much, the magic gets lost and pretty soon talk is all there is. Some things in life just are.

 

Except what you must, change what you can, and never over think the issue!

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

Yes indeed, I see your point sax5thave, but questioning, being curious and discussing creative debate and encouraging healthy discussion does not point to non-acceptance and 'letting go'.

 

Everything in life happens for a reason and I wanted to know unique, individuals 'reasons'

 

:)

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Bobsquarepants

Posted

Yes. I am currently in love with 3 W/l's & I dont expect discounts. I also dont sat anything anymore because my reg wont see me. lesson learnt

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CaptainDarling

Posted

 

 

Everything in life happens for a reason

 

 

Not a believer in the essentially random and unknowable nature of the Universe then?

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

Life is always evolving, yes. No such thing as a 'mistake', yes. However, I believe the Universe IS knowable. We can make a choice and stick to it and make something out of it. We could trace it back, or not be able to..(like in 'what the bleep' film)

 

Ah knowing nature.

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Xxcherri_sundaexX

Posted

I have been in this position once and even then I knew he was a friend not trying to own me. He'd be a regular where I used to work. If you were his type he'd book you for half the day and bring all kinds of treats (he always brought more then for you do you could share with the others) but he never asked for a discount. He knew his place. And he knew the boundaries. I really do think he had the best of both worlds. Knowing he made 20 something year old girls happy while being in his 60s AND still getting a friendship from them.....

 

kinda different to another client who would only see these two girls. Both he claimed he loved and would treasure always. It scared the shit out of them and they refused to see them (probably still do) because he couldn't understand the perimeters of their wl/client relationship.

 

So one got to be the big hero while the other looked like a massive creep with nothing better to do with his time.

 

They really need to do a study on how the mind works with something/client relationships!!!!

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Everything does has happen for a reason It just doesn't have to happen for a specific reason relative to the moment. I can still control the reason as well but sometimes I can't because I'm the passenger in a certain ride.

 

Life is a journey. You drive on your path, everyone you meet is a stop a long the way but occasionally you take a holiday and let somebody else take control. You might let a naughty school girl fuck you until you forget your own name. Everything that happens is for a reason, either by design or by chance. Decision making still plays a part in both aspects.

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