I guess this post *may* offend a few people. I'm only speaking from my opinion, my truth and my personal experience. I've been in the industry since I was 18 years old. Receptionist/ Stripper/ Hostess in Japan/ Escort in agency/ Independant Escort now. This is a rant/questioning/thoughts about the times when your client wants to see you for 'free'...
Since I had my first Sugar Daddy I came up with a theory.
My theory is the 3-6 month 'SDT'. Much worse than an 'STI'...It's the 'Sugar Daddy Theory'. It's kind of like this...
The Honeymoon period is now...when you first meet your new regular/client/sugar daddy... where you've got to cut and run. You have 3-6 months of 'good times'. 'Good times' is:
-Paying correctly and even tipping
-never overstepping the boundaries
Now..he WILL fall in love or if he doesn't, he will eventually ask for 'guilt-emotionally-driven' discounts in exchange for your time.
After the 3 months (wait 6 months if you don't see each other frequently/less than once a week)...this is what happens:
-more frequent txts (from the man)
-more requests for 'catching up' (from the man, with less cash donations involved)
-the man wanting to gift you in ways which are not financial (I don't WANT perfume and shoes. I am NOT that type of girl). Plus 'good' clients are not necessarily the ones who tip or bring gifts. Often they are. But sometimes tippers or gift-bearers do this because they know they’re difficult to deal with and are trying to smooth the way. For most escorts, a man is a good client because of the quality of his company and him respecting the value of her time, and not the quality of his material gifts.
I knew it was coming...it came from the Strip Club with my regs... it came with every single Sugar Daddy (you know how many I've made cry cos I've told them I won't see them anymore?). I knew it would happen with (a select few) of my private clients.
And it has begun.
But you're always going to come up against people who take things personally and have inappropriate boundaries in life. You just need to reinforce those boundaries. For yourself. And for others.
It's emotionally draining. I would rather NOT get fringe benefits, and have people who pay and see the value of my time. That's it. Simple.
I really love my clientele. Hey, I love my shrink too! And my Dr's pretty awesome! ..However, I don't call them up and say
'let's hangout, I'd really love to catchup over lunch, we always have such good conversations..!'
and then if we did 'shoot the breeze', I would pay them for it.
Just like I pay a stripper when I talk to her at a strip club (GUYS TAKE NOTE). Even just give her a $10 tip if you chat for 5minutes and don't get a lapdance (....don't ask to buy her a drink, again, we can get that ourselves, cheers).
A good client is respectful of an escort’s time. He doesn’t waste her time with endless e-mails/phone calls before meeting (unless she openly encourages the correspondence). He doesn’t waste her time with numerous cancellations and rescheduling. He doesn’t break an appointment without calling first. He is on time for appointments; not early, not late. Nor does he try to extend his allotted time with her (he can ask, but she may have other plans). If she doesn’t like last-minute appointments, or appointments on certain days/times, he doesn’t make those requests.
In short, a good client treats an escort’s time as valuable to her; much as his time is probably valuable to him.
I want to know... why do punters do it? (Not the time thing, I think that's just Society. I'm talking, why do you pay and then not want to pay? Why do you think she would be okay with that? It's her 'job'. You know that, right?)
Do you ask for discounts cos it's human nature to?
Cos you can?
Cos you think the woman is emotionally involved..?
(The best clients I've ever had? See the list below:
_Cokehead sugar daddy. Lived large, never fucked me (though I would've loved him to-he just couldnt cos of medical issues). We just did loads of fetish stuff and swingers parties. Bought me an apartment, not clingy at all
_Portuguese Sugar Daddy. Would fly me overseas once a month, worked like a motherfucker and shagged me soooo good! Again, non clingy. Kept boundaries, would even encourage me to 'work' while with him and after he'd paid me
_stripping client. Would get me to bite him hard in lapdances. We spoke philosophy in between biting. He paid and tipped. Above and beyond. ...and there have been loads of others, which i can't describe as they have double lives...
The funny thing is---For some psychological reason unknown to me, this makes me work harder at making them care. People who are LESS clingy and NEVER ask for discounts are the people I'd do ANYTHING for and GIVE discounts to! (oOOPS, overshare?)
It's not 'ask and ye shall receive'. It's just stick to the appropriate boundaries. Look, I'm not saying treat me like a living sex-doll. Just.....punt within budget and there are plenty of variation with prices and girls around to do so. And if you like me and want to see me.....well, maybe reduce the time we're together? (once a month insetead of once a week if you cannot afford it)
I dunno, I'm sorry, I'm not your budget planner
...Really interested to hear honest thoughts.
...Not interested in hearing working-lady bashings
...I AM interested in the psychology behind this, it's ALWAYS something I've struggled with, so would love to know more about what your personal experience with this situation is
Maybe to get you started...
-Ever met a stripper you fell in love with? What happened?
-Ever fallen for an escort or parlour lady? How did that go?
I've got to go be pretty and date---
XXX Looking forward to hearing what people have to say
Angel Baybe Monet