angel-baybe monet's Blog

No I couldn't shag a woman I couldn't stand.

 

There was this women I use to work with who apparently had a one night stand with a colleague after the Christmas party. Part of me at the time wondered what did she see in this bloke, cause he's a dead set man child.

 

Some of my work mates had suggested to me that I should've asked her out and the like but she wasn't my type on a few grounds.

 

Personallity wise I couldn't stand her cause she seemed as if she was bipolar in she'd me nice one moment and the next want to rip my head off. Whilst part of me mightn't have minded having a one night stand with her, my big head says why wouldn't you want to do that with somebody you can't even stand to be in the same room as at times.

 

I'm not much into hate, I've seen where it leads and how bad it can get sometimes.

Hate is a hungry monster and will eat everything it comes in contact with, even things that are pretty good and seem stronger. Love and Hate don't cancel each other out IMO. Hate is probably the stronger emotion as it is usually externalised and ends up as someone else's problem as well.

The few times I have been having an outbreak of hate it has usually been directed to males or towards my Ex missus - so no possibility of sex on those fronts.

There was one girlfriend in my distant past that was probably more than a little bit insane, and the sex with her was surprisingly good. I think it's because she didn't ever hold back or pause. Every session was like it could be her last on earth. She had some suicidal tendencies, so potentially each day on earth could have been her last   Once I realised how bad she was I got out – before she and I got too deeply involved. I have no idea what became of her BTW.

I could do it. I used to fight with a girl who was a friend of a friend years ago really bad. We had a severe personality clash. I'm not sure there was hatred but she definitely provoked a negative, anger fueled emotion out of me. I think that if we had sex it would have been explosive and ego controlled as there was no way I would have ever allowed her to get the best of me in that situation.

I was having sex/falling for a girl back in 2008 who I had completely lost all respect for. I changed my opinion long after we had drifted apart because I took time to understand her situation and what made her who she was. The sex was pretty lifeless. We were both you so it wasn't going to be the best anyway but there was no real passion. I wasn't really interested in giving my all and she was...who she was. There was definitely a resistance from both of us to let go because we should not have been doing what we were doing, forbidden love is a bitch.

 

It's funny though. Possibly the most uninspiring sexual intimacy with a woman always result in the one thing I loved the most - waking up with her asleep on my chest. Something about being her comfort zone was touching.

 

I could be intimate with somebody I hated because there is fuel to an emotion within me but somebody that I had no respect for, I could do it just to get off, but it would be cardboard, 6 o'clock type of sex.