I'm really curious about the Babygirl/DaddyDom relationship...
As my working sex is mostly 'vanilla', I find in my personal life, I raise the bar more and more.
Who out there is exploring with this dynamic? What do you like about it? What works for you? What doesn't?
I can say that for me, I sigh with frustration when people come to me, wanting to explore with 50 shades of grey having peppered their vanilla icecream minds with what BDSM is about.
What is BDSM?
It is NOT these things:
-riding like a jackhammer hard and fast
...without any regard to my satisfaction or pleasure....
Yeah, that's porn, go figure, not reality.
Yeah, sure it's great, now the silly book has opened up the minds of the masses to discipline and domination. Alas, you newbies are misinformed!
BDSM can be (and more than this):
-The partner who plays the role of ”dominant” actually cares deeply for the physical, mental and emotional well being of his “submissive.” He would never do anything dangerous to her and his behavior is limited at all times strictly by what his partner finds enjoyable.
THAT is why I dont do anal first time, where's the trust dynamic? If you want that type of encounter, buy a blowup doll! GREAT SEX is about two people's energy, together.
-“Safe words” are well rehearsed before the fun even starts, so a submissive can tell her partner to stop at any time. “Red”, “yellow” and “green” are often used. Red means exactly what you think: “stop right now because I’m not enjoying what you’re doing (or it’s just too intense, etc.).” Yellow means “I’m O.K. with what you’re doing for the moment, but I might not want you to continue.” Green means: “I really, really like that, keep it up!” Yes, he has a need to control, but a dominant always balances “control” of his sub with the prime directive to insure safety at all times and meet the needs and desires of his submissive.
-the Dominant is in Control. FICTION!!!
A dominant’s job is to fulfill the submissive’s needs — that’s what brings the dominant pleasure. “Every good dominant knows that the submissive is really the partner in control,” says Jennifer Hunter. “All a submissive woman has to do is relax and enjoy the ride while delicious sexual acts are visited upon her. She’s the star of the proceedings. Someone is ministering to her needs for a change. Master is choreographing all the action.”
The reason I engage in dom play? Because Im into seducing the man!! It's not about me lying there....no offence, but I'll more likely be a sub in my personal life.... I know what I'm doing, and I get off on it, so I'll do it.
According to Dr. Laura Berman: “Being dominated and out of control can feel very sexy, especially if you are someone who is typically in control and juggling many responsibilities at once. It can be very freeing and erotic to simply relinquish those responsibilities and tap into your sexual side without any guilt or pressure.”
Let’s face it, after a long day of managing employees, making all the decisions, looking after children, etc., being in charge can get old.
I'm too much of a control freak myself.
Oh and finally, it's not about PAIN. It's about power. A dynamic, mirroring exchange.
I'm not having a go, it's not something you can get a crash course in or read a trashy book about...it takes YEARS to learn. I still count myself as a novice, after getting into kink at age 18.
Well, I hope you have a fun and fuckalicious Friday
XXX Love Angel-Baybe Monet