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Babygirl/Daddydom Dynamic


angel-baybe monet

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I'm really curious about the Babygirl/DaddyDom relationship...

 

As my working sex is mostly 'vanilla', I find in my personal life, I raise the bar more and more.

 

Who out there is exploring with this dynamic? What do you like about it? What works for you? What doesn't?

 

 

I can say that for me, I sigh with frustration when people come to me, wanting to explore with 50 shades of grey having peppered their vanilla icecream minds with what BDSM is about.

 

What is BDSM?

 

It is NOT these things:

-riding like a jackhammer hard and fast

-double penetration

-deep throating

...without any regard to my satisfaction or pleasure....

 

Yeah, that's porn, go figure, not reality.

 

Yeah, sure it's great, now the silly book has opened up the minds of the masses to discipline and domination. Alas, you newbies are misinformed!

 

BDSM can be (and more than this):

-The partner who plays the role of ”dominant” actually cares deeply for the physical, mental and emotional well being of his “submissive.” He would never do anything dangerous to her and his behavior is limited at all times strictly by what his partner finds enjoyable.

THAT is why I dont do anal first time, where's the trust dynamic? If you want that type of encounter, buy a blowup doll! GREAT SEX is about two people's energy, together.

 

-“Safe words” are well rehearsed before the fun even starts, so a submissive can tell her partner to stop at any time. “Red”, “yellow” and “green” are often used. Red means exactly what you think: “stop right now because I’m not enjoying what you’re doing (or it’s just too intense, etc.).” Yellow means “I’m O.K. with what you’re doing for the moment, but I might not want you to continue.” Green means: “I really, really like that, keep it up!” Yes, he has a need to control, but a dominant always balances “control” of his sub with the prime directive to insure safety at all times and meet the needs and desires of his submissive.

 

-the Dominant is in Control. FICTION!!!

A dominant’s job is to fulfill the submissive’s needs — that’s what brings the dominant pleasure. “Every good dominant knows that the submissive is really the partner in control,” says Jennifer Hunter. “All a submissive woman has to do is relax and enjoy the ride while delicious sexual acts are visited upon her. She’s the star of the proceedings. Someone is ministering to her needs for a change. Master is choreographing all the action.”

The reason I engage in dom play? Because Im into seducing the man!! It's not about me lying there....no offence, but I'll more likely be a sub in my personal life.... I know what I'm doing, and I get off on it, so I'll do it.

 

According to Dr. Laura Berman: “Being dominated and out of control can feel very sexy, especially if you are someone who is typically in control and juggling many responsibilities at once. It can be very freeing and erotic to simply relinquish those responsibilities and tap into your sexual side without any guilt or pressure.”

 

Let’s face it, after a long day of managing employees, making all the decisions, looking after children, etc., being in charge can get old.

SURRENDER!

I'm too much of a control freak myself.

 

Oh and finally, it's not about PAIN. It's about power. A dynamic, mirroring exchange.

 

 

I'm not having a go, it's not something you can get a crash course in or read a trashy book about...it takes YEARS to learn. I still count myself as a novice, after getting into kink at age 18.

 

 

Well, I hope you have a fun and fuckalicious Friday ;)

 

XXX Love Angel-Baybe Monet

21 Comments


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CaptainDarling

Posted

 

Interesting stuff, thanks for posting ABM.

 

I understand a little of the BDSM dynamic and I've tried some fairly mild stuff over the years with my sex partners.

 

I understand the concept of surrender, but there are so few people that can take control of me without props. Basically I'm solid, noisy and independent, and usually I'm unwilling to be cuffed or bound in a private setting with a virtual stranger. I guess this is because of lack of trust in my short commercial sexual encounters.

 

Some of my Trans encounters are a bit kinky though, and I stray more into the partner dynamic you describe.

 

With Trans I'm usually a “Top-Versatile” but every now and then I'm more “Bottom-Versatile”.

 

With someone new that seems a bit jumpy I tend to opt for me being a pure “Top” and I strive for “First do no harm”.

 

And once in a blue moon, when the trust is there, or when I hardly recognise myself, I'm a pure “Bottom”.

 

At the end of the day sex it sex. Paying for sex tends to shorten then amount of time available for the play in my case, so trust and synchronisation etc. become much less likely.

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

Agreed!

 

I find I can only be a true switch when I am having 'personal sex'.

 

I don't ever trust my clients enough...in the BDSM world, it takes aaaages to establish that dynamic. So when people come to me in vanilla working land, and want it, I can't receive, I just can't (psychologically, emotionally, physically).

 

So I wonder then, am I a switch even?

 

It is so much about trust. Some may think I want more $$$$ by getting them to see me over a period of time...but the truth is, I'm more willing to let go if we see each other frequently. With my regs, we know ea other SO WELL, I would NEVER do the things I do with them in the first/one-time encounters.

 

Maybe that's why in my personal life, despite being a nymphomaniac, I gravitate towards celibacy and never have one-night stands!

 

XX Hope you're having a fun Friday Mal!

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CaptainDarling

Posted

 

With me it's not *only* about trust. It's certainly true that trust is high on my list, but also I'm a shameless slut :D

 

To an extent I found myself doing some pretty fun things on my very first encounters – even if there is very little evidence to base any trust upon. I can get a vibe for someone fairly quickly, and this has always been one of my strengths.

 

Another thing in my favour is that I'm a consumer of paid sex not a provider, so most of the time I seek people out when I'm ready to fuck or willing to be fucked! This means that before the meeting I'm anticipating a good time. I'm an optimist so I tend to meet someone new when I've already hypnotised myself a bit into having some good fun.

 

The lady on the other side of the equation is a whole different story. Presumably she needs to be able to continue this level of performance throughout they day with a variety of different people, and then the next day get up and do it all again. Hardly surprising if she takes a more conservative approach to her health, both mental and physical.

 

Anyhoo, I hope you find what you need most.

 

oxoxox

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

No but I'm a slut/nympho too! It's not about 'trust' in that sense---it's more like, I dont trust them to NOT RIP MY ARSEHOLE cos they're unco!!!!! Hahahahaha

 

My body is my business. That's more what it means to me.

 

Thanks. I think what I need is a daddydom in my personal life and vanillas who know their place at work ;) Hahaha , harsh? Perhaps. But so true!

 

I love you Mal, let's meet for coffee! You're amazing XXX

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This is something I'm very interested in but alas I'll never have a girlfriend so it'll remain a fantasy.

 

I knew a girl who was a collared kitten and it was really fascinating how in a way even though she had her master and she was the submissive she was the one in control and he had to go to even greater lengths than a normal relationship to ensure everything was great for her. I think the way their relationship was it would end the day she took her collar off no questions asked. That's a pretty remarkable arrangement if you go through with it.

 

It would take a long time I think to build up this level of trust though but when you do I think this sort of relationship would bring greater reward than a "vanilla" lifestyle. Would there be anything greater than to connect with someone so much that you can put all of your faith in to their hands and give yourself to them? Or on the reverse side have somebody give that to you? What is better than that when you get down to a soul level? You can have sex all day long but when your soul is touched by another soul that can't be explained by any words we know, it just is. Do you know what I mean?

 

Even though I'm a male I would love to find a lady one day that would take me as her sub. Not a WL but a real life relationship. It's not about having someone prove their love for you but from what I see on the outside looking in when done in the right way it's all about the care someone had for you and you for them.

 

Good discussion topic, I'm very interested in this stuff.

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

Yes, thankyou for your comment, I really like the example you posed ANUNNAKI :)

 

I have a PERFECT example from my last client last night of the day...

 

he called me up stating he wanted to dominate me...I explained domination roleplay and that I'm not a switch. He agreed to let me dominate HIM and stated multiple times he would 'let me take the lead'.

 

I go into the session,,,he's a COMPLETE VANILLA. (Which I have no contempt for UNLESS they are porn-watching-Lebanese-wog-boys who THINK DOMINATION means HATE-fucking a girl like she's a hate-fucking-slut)

 

I had to explain the dynamic multiple times and restrain him. I cuffed him and did some really piss-poor BDSM, because .......

a) he wasn't into it (I could tell he just wanted to facefuck me and give me a facial, and that's what he'd describe as being 'dominant')

B) We had absoultely NO CHEMISTRY OR DYNAMIC

c) he couldnt communicate his true needs and wants and went into the session thinking he could dom eventually--so he had no self-awareness of his sexual needs and how to commincate them. ROOKIE MISTAKE

 

Oh dear.

 

I love my clients and this was the first time I havent gotten along with someone IN YEARS.

 

The problem was, not only was he ignorant...he was arrogant...and quite stupid. I couldnt get through to him....very rare for me....I feel I can relate to anyone; esp since I was around unitelligent 20-yr-olds at the strip club who ended up being my best friends...I can adapt. But this guy was INTENT on shuffling around, switching on me by surprise..and I cannot tell you how many times I had to keep an eye on my equipment because I could see him trying to grab it and use it on me------ THERE WAS 0 TRUST!

 

I kept trying different things; to be a hardcore mistress; to laugh it off;to be a teacher/mentor, but he kept grabbing my head (before I cuffed him) and saying 'you like being a little whore dont you?! How much dick have sucked today? HEY??? HEY?! YOU LITTLE FUCKING SLUT!!!' Getting really aggressive.

 

I looked into his eyes and held his gaze.... 'Baby...what do you want? I will give you what you want, and what you need....relax...and tell me what you need.....'

 

But apparently that dialogue was too confronting for him

, unless I'm being raped and held down 'like a little whore' , it's no fun....... his dick went limp....

 

One day, I will find someone who can get through to my boundaries. It will be exquisite... I will explore the switch (as I cant with work) ...They will NOT be a first time client...they will be someone I have never seen through work... some people have The Pretty Woman syndrome...

Maybe I'm just waiting for Daddy to come home...

 

And THEN, he can tie me up and do ANYTHING he wants to me! ;)

 

Hahahahahah

 

XXX Love to you all on this divine Sunday Baybes!!!

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Do you think seeing a BDSM WL to get introduced to this would be the best way to go? Personally I would prefer to sub, at least for the first times in seeing someone. I couldn't dom straight off the bat it's just not in my personality. I love the idea of being submissive though and exploring my own boundaries and letting someone else take me there.

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

OF COURSE it would be better to Sub first time!

And it's absolutely not in everyone's personality..! Just like it's unnautral and forced for me to Sub. HOWEVER, my training and work has made it so...I can pull it off, but I've had to train my mind, and it is to bring pleasure to the working encounter, a service they have requested as a client.

 

It only pisses me off when they don't know anything about the culture and LIE (like he did) and say they're a dominant, when really, what they mean is ----'I hate working girls and want to hate-fuck them'

 

Lesson learnt. I will in future be having lengthier discussons for any dominant sessions to gauge experience and full consultations prior.

 

The thing is, I want to please my clients as well as have enjoyable sex myself. If he wasn't a true dominant, he should not have 'lied' about it and he could have found so many other working girls who would have provided said service. Win-win.

 

On the other hand, I have a regular who is lovely! I fuck him hard with a strap-on once a week. He thought he wanted to dominate, I encouraged him to sub instead the first time, and he now loves it and thanks me for reading his needs so well. We have a great relationship and dynamic.

 

I don't mind vanilla sex. I have great vanilla sex too. I LOVE vanillas who know they're vanilla and just do that. I encourage exploration, but exploration with RESPECT is paramount, always.

 

Anyway, if you're interested, keep reading and let me know X

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I'm definitely interested in BDSM and subbing so I would read more of what you say. I like your entire blog too I hope you keep it up it's very interesting and you've started some very good topics.

 

I wonder why so many people are not upfront with their desire? It only leads to disappointment when it should be the greatest feeling ever. If you don't communicate you will leave Unsatisfied, what's the point?

 

Even for me someone is naturally reserved I was upfront with the PWL I saw in my sexual history (not much to talk about lol) and what I wanted so I had a great time and went back twice. Communication is essential.

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

Thankyou, I appreciate that :) xxxx glad you're getting something out of it! I'm a curious, complete open mind and definetly in agreeance with you- communication is the key to success in every area of life.

 

I guess some people are totally un self-aware, having a warped perception which taints their experiences.

 

Take care out there lovelies! XXX

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

Oh god!! I sing 'it's a fine line between pleasure and pain' in my bookings !!

 

Scary.

 

But I'm going to keep trusting intuition and thanking the universe.

 

To be honest, he was just a f#Cking Cu$#. Insecure, arrogant....and fat. I could have kicked his flubber easily enough. Next time will definetly be more cautious and as said before, TRUST MY GUT!!

 

You guys are the best xxx

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CaptainDarling

Posted

 

 

...and fat

 

 

Hey – fat people need love too!!!!! :P

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

I usually like fat people...no joke...

 

fat and funny and smart

 

But he was just fat without kindness, humour or intelligence

 

I only resort to name-calling when someone pisses me off ;)

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Great blog post angel baybe monet. In my experience, relinquishing control and being dominated by someone who understands your needs and knows what they are doing is an incredible sexual experience. You do have to click or else it gets very boring very quickly

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angel-baybe monet

Posted

Thankyou Lorax, glad you enjoyed the post.

 

Yes, it is altogether very different sex, almost spiritual.

 

When there is no connection, you cannot fake it...

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Thank you for an interesting post.

 

Before I read that I could not see why anyone would find dominance or submission to be of any interest whatsoever.

 

I think I see why this appeals now.

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I have been seeing bondage mistresses for a while, mostly at the fetish house :) Mostly as a submissive, and mostly light sessions. My fetish is a tickle fetish, so I often get tied up and tickled, with some tie and tease etc :)

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DaddyDom/LittleGirl sounds like exactly my cup of tea!

 

"A Daddy Dom:
Wants to provide his little girl with her every need and be the center of her universe.Believes in her more than she believes in herself.Shapes and molds his little girl to help her reach her highest potential.Takes great pride in her and loves to show her off.Makes discipline a priority in their lives.Gives his submissive acceptance. (He knows all her dirty little secrets and loves her anyway.)Acts as an authority figure in his little girl’s life, but he also brings a degree of caring and ritual to the role that she craves.“Nurturing” and “protective” seem to be the hallmark characteristics that set Daddy Doms apart from other style Doms. They dote on their little girls and in turn, their little girls worship them and make them the center of their worlds. "

From https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/5014058-7-characteristics-of-a-daddy-dom

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