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Frankie, a whore's Blog

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"Will it even fit?"

frankie.is.a.whore

Entry posted by frankie.is.a.whore

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"Hello there, my name's Frankie, lovely to meet you. Did you have any questions for me?"

 

Frankie gets a lot more air-time than I do. Is it really that weird to cancel on your friends so you can go to work? All my friends know what I do. Even my mother knows. I'm very liberal, as are those whom I keep close. But lately I've been told that I'm working too much. I'm getting sore. My feet are sore from wearing heels (which I hate having to do). My legs are sore from being positioned into crazy places like a bendy-straw. My butt is sore from spending hours at a time seated on a wooden bench when it's slow at work. My crotch is sore from when it's not slow at work. My back, my shoulders, my neck, all sore. Even my head, from wearing extensions. But my heart is not sore.

 

I recently have had a very serious and traumatic break-up. This is what spurred me into getting back to work. It's been somewhere between 5-3 weeks now, depending on how you look at it. I don't deal with difficulty very well. In that, I don't actually deal with it at all. I continue as though nothing happened. It's very difficult to continue when everything in your life is turned upside down within 2 hours. So I've thrown myself into work. Partly to get myself out of debt that my partner had incurred for 'us'. In a week I was paid up, but still I was working every day. Work was slow, 2 or 3 bookings would be the goal. It didn't feel like working, really. It was mostly sitting around chatting to the other ladies. Now I've saved up enough to move house, from one share house to another. Then undoubtedly, I will be having to save for x, y & z.

 

I feel very lonely. I can't exactly go out dating. "You look great!" "Thanks, I just came straight for work, well, I had cum all over my neck but I wiped it off on the way, have you ordered drinks yet?". I can't tell anyone what I do on a first date. When is it ok to tell them? You couldn't just not tell them. Unless you knew it wasn't going anywhere. But then why bother dating in the first place? I'm sure this is a very general problem, and you've not come to the blog of a whore to hear your own relationship problems echoed. If you have, of course, you're welcome.

 

I am deeply confused. I am hurt. I am fragile. Frankie is not. Is it really so bad to let her take the reigns for a while? Perhaps my loved ones are worried that I won't ever want to take back control, or won't be able to. Perhaps they're worried that I'll be too sore, and perhaps injured, if I keep this up. Perhaps they just miss me. I know I can learn how to live a balanced life.

 

Will it even fit?

 

It will with enough lube ;D

5 Comments

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No longer here

No longer here

Posted

There are times when throwing yourself into your work can be the best thing for you, I've done it, I'm doing it now - working 100+ hour weeks. just try to be aware if it is an escape or if it is avoidance. Escape can be healthy or at least necessary. Avoidance will solve nothing. Just leave yourself a way back. Hell you may reach the point where the other you is an escape from Frankie. Sometimes a persona is like a suit o armour, just remember what it is protecting

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No longer here

No longer here

Posted

I remember a certain manual arts  teacher I once knew -"please sir, it doesn't fit" "assembling machinery is like making love - just throw on some lube and keep banging away until it fits"

 

Maybe not the best thing to say to a grade 8 class

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CaptainDarling

CaptainDarling

Posted

 

I can't begin to advice you on balancing sex work with dating, and I probably shouldn't try, but I will very gently suggest a thing or two– and I really hope you don't get too pissed off at me for showing an interest.

 

My take on the dating thing is that the other person is the essential ingredient. If that person can't get alongside the idea of dating a sex worker then you are wasting your time with them. They may seem so good in every other way, but if they cant let you do your own thing without judgement, then the sex work will probably be the thing that always comes up during the arguments... Perhaps it will be like a battered wife, always anticipating the next slap that will land on her face and put her on her knees again...

 

You mentioned being physically sore and not getting any rest. You talked about how you were not working to a plan so there was no end to this in sight. No planned holiday or clear financial target that when reached would allow you to quit the job again. Sounds like some trouble brewing to me! I used to have a very physical job, and it gave me the gift of regular sleepless nights, some immobility and frequent discomfort. If you body has something to say to you, maybe listen to it a bit more eh?

 

It sounds to me like you need good friends, and you need them now, and this would be way better than some kind words from random Internet dudes. Friends that will hold you in their arms and let you cry if you need to. Friends that will laugh with you when you are ready. Friends that will push through your wall and give your pain and confusion the beating of it's very life. Friends that will call bullshit when you self-justify an obviously harmful pattern.

 

If you don't have friends like this then that is a huge huge huge bonus for you. Surprisingly...

 

Because the lack of friends of this calibre has definitely contributed to the situation you are in now. If you slowly start adding good quality people to your circle one by one, then pretty sure things will improve for you quickly.

 

Good luck with it all though.

 

Hugs

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frankie.is.a.whore

frankie.is.a.whore

Posted

Thankyou both for your advice. 

 

 

 

No planned holiday or clear financial target that when reached would allow you to quit the job again.

 

 

I don't want to quit, I just know that working 13 shifts a fortnight is far too much to continue. I'd like to get back to 8-9 a fortnight which is what I used to do before I had a partner. And I do have amazing friends around me who want me to work less, I just don't really want to take their advice because I'm trying to avoid time by myself.

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CG_Asia

.....And I do have amazing friends around me who want me to work less, I just don't really want to take their advice because I'm trying to avoid time by myself.

listen to your subconscious -- someday in the near future, she will whisper to you "it's time to rest" through a myriad of signs.

 

Now is not the time.

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