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Cuts both ways


La Cucaracha

9,764 views

Respect – you want it? Well, you gotta earn it.

 

It’s a common theme. You hear it all the time. Give it a few weeks, you’ll hear it again. Respect. The topic crops up all the time. Respect. We punters need to learn to respect the girls. We punters need to treat the ladies with a certain minimum standard of decency which demonstrates that we respect them. Fair enough, I fully concur, no argument there, all for it.

 

But what about respect in the other direction? The one where the girls need to respect the punters? Where is that discussion? Is that even discussed? I’m talking about the whole concept of respecting that the punter has spent his blood, sweat and tears earning some dosh so that he can pay for a bit of fun, and the respect of those very dollars?

 

This is not a pricing whinge, although some aspects of the rant could be misconstrued as being one. The number of girls now expecting the $600+, $700+, $800+ range has ballooned in the past 18 months, with so many thinking that $800 is something every punter blows his nose with. But that is not the focus of my rant.

 

I’m talking about the times when a sob story desperate girl comes crying to me to say that they are in a real jam, and they need to BORROW some cash to get them out of that jam, promising to pay me back. Some of them pay me back in due course, either in cash or in bookings, but they honour their word. But there have been some who have consistently and conveniently forgotten their debt. And then, they go quiet, they “retire”, they change their name, or just simply vanish off the radar, and they simply never honour their word.

 

Mind you, I’m not as big a softie as you think I am. It wasn’t like “hey, give me $3k, I’ll pay you back”. Most of the situations have been “I’m in a jam, I have some cashflow problems, you’re going to see me in 2 weeks, could you please pre-pay and we’re sorted?” only to have a cancellation happen the day before, the week before, sometimes even the afternoon of the booking after I’d flown all the way from Melbourne to whatever city it was we were going to have the booking in. Then, when they cancel, they promise to make good, but calendar challenges happen, and they offer to pay me back, but never do. Where’s the respect and the integrity then? How do they expect me to respect them when they don’t demonstrate the decency of even acknowledging the debt and making some sort of effort to repay me?

 

Honestly, I had one girl who owed me $6k actually offer to repay me at $10 per month. Go ahead, laugh, but she was serious! I had another one literally say to my face that seeing as I spent over $100k per year on punts (judging from the reviews), the $3k was nothing to me and I shouldn’t get hung up about it. I’ve had another who would borrow $1500, then pay back $300, then borrow another $1500, then pay back $300, then borrow another amount again. That may be a cool dance, but it’s stretching the friendship way too far.

 

I try and be all nice and friendly about this, understanding of their circumstances or the curve balls that life throws at them. But sometimes I just have to be a cunt to get my point across, because fair is fair, if I wanted to fuck up a few thousand dollars into thin air, I’d rather have a choice as to what I can do with it, not have someone else just abscond with it. So, to date, I have had debt collection agents working to recover these debts for me. Not surprisingly, a couple have “suddenly declared bankruptcy”. Fine, if they want to go to such lengths to avoid repayment, that’s fine. At the end of the day, they have fucked up their credit rating, they have fucked up their ability to borrow, they have fucked up their freedom of liquidity. But more importantly, they have totally fucked up the respect they demanded from me. Naming them publicly here will do no one any good, but those who have trusted my intel before, and have benefited from such, are more than welcome to it.

 

I feel sorry for these spineless creatures. They want respect, they demand respect, they crave attention, but they lack integrity. What is worse is that they ruin it for the girls who do actually value the concept of respect, integrity and honour very highly.

 

By contrast, I can name you a handful of girls right now whom I have the utmost of respect for. These girls may demand deposits or pre-payment but as soon as arrangements fall through and a cancellation results where a re-schedule within a day or two of the original is not possible, they ask me for my account and without fail, the money shows back up. I don’t even need to ask. And yes, they are the more “high profile ones”, those who have made a name for themselves where they are known simply by a single name. Names like Christine, like Jasmine, like Cristal. They don’t need to earn my respect, they already have it in spades – they had it the moment they respected my hard earned dollars, no matter how quickly I earned it or how much I spent on punting.

 

So, I’m all for treating the girls like professionals and for meeting their demands for deposits and/or pre-payments. But respect? That’s a big word, and if you want it, you gotta earn it.

47 Comments


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HollyInGriffith

Posted

I dont think the issue is respect. I think the issue here is, you made some mistakes and poor choices and now you need to find something/someone else to put the blame on.. cos well, it couldnt have been you that fuked up now could it? LOL

 

If you lend one person, any person in the world money and they dont pay you back then you learn a lesson - be more careful who you lend money too. If you dont learn after a couple of times, then who is to blame? The people asking for the money or the person who keeps dishing it out? 

 

Not all sex workers are honest. Not all medical receptionists are honest either. Neither are all bankers, yoga instructors or supermarket check out chicks. 

 

As a sex worker i demand respect and what i mean by respect is - i put my trust in my clients to treat my body nicely. I expect that my personal boundaries are not forcefully broken. I expect them to treat me just like they would a regular person. 

 

Sex workers should be respected yes. Clients should also be respected yes. 

 

We dont have to earn respect - it should be given the moment you walk into a booking. 

 

But when you do things outside of the normal client/hooker relationship like lending money to people that you havent gained trust with, then that unfortunately is called a mistake.

 

I know this might sound harsh, but i cant have any sympathy here for you.... yes its a shitty thing that has happened to you, yes people who dont pay back money are not nice people, but if it keeps happening to you, whats the common denominator? Its you im afraid. You need to learn how to say no. 

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Perchance2dream

Posted

Unfortunately we all want to see the best in people, we assume that we will be treated as we treat others, with honesty, integrity and respect. So often I find myself disappointed in the qualities others display, but still u battle to not become cynical.

 

We have lent money to friends only to never see it again, yet we still offer to help when someone is in trouble, it would be a sad world without those acts of kindness, yet some seem determined to extract that kindness from the few people who still posses it.

 

I suppose the old saying sweetie, never mix business and pleasure, but that in itself offers a change to the punter/WL dynamic, can anything be a GFE if both parties approach it as a pure business transaction?

 

Holly I agree with your definition of respect and that is a respect that should be afforded all people, but I think what La C was getting at is the respect for the person, and I have to say I think we all earn that, you can't demand to be respected as a decent person, you have to earn that respect by deed and word.

 

 

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MelbournePunting

Posted

I'm sorry but continuing to lend money to someone who already owes you money is a mistake. Also, pre paying? No way. Either book her for another hour there and then or nothing at all. I understand the respect thing, but don't get suckered into giving away more money than is required for the current booking. Even to friends, don't give away money. You're not a bank

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HollyInGriffith

Posted

I hear what you are saying P2D but lending family money and not getting it back is one thing.. or a mate you have known for ages.. But imagine if you worked in a Real Estate agency.. and there is this girl Jane who is the front desk receptionist, you dont know her but she smiles and says hello to you every morning when you come into the office and she is always polite when she transfers thru calls to you... would you lend her money? You dont know Jane, she is just a work colleague..its a different situation if you and Jane became mates and talked outside of work and built a solid normal friendship... but whilst she is still just "Jane the receptionist chick" you cant be foolish enough to trust her with large sums of money.... isnt it kinda the same as the wl and client situation? 

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CaptainDarling

Posted

 

I don't ever loan my money outside the immediate family.

 

For a friend in need - instead I give them small cash gifts or pay a small but very pressing bill. But they have to really really need it. It's not a loan so I won't require repayment of any kind. It is a cautious, considered generous act. From me to them. Heart to heart. Obviously I have a very small and tight group of friends and it takes years for someone to pass all my tests and be counted a friend.

 

Some more random hippie jottings.

 

High levels of personal debt is a form of cruelty. It encourages people to take on an inferior role until the debt is fully discharged. If the debt will never be discharged (due to a change in their job circumstances etc.) then the indebted person is expected to feel guilty/inferior for large parts of their life.

 

Some people are not strong enough to bear the thought of this long-term indebtedness, and they seek escape by avoiding the lender, declaring bankruptcy, inventing some excuse to fight - where they feel they no longer owe the other person. Really they have this picture in their head of what they will look like in the future, living the good life and being very happy. Parting with a large percentage of their future earnings for fun they have already just had doesn't usually figure in this rosy view.

 

I believe people get into money troubles for a variety of reasons. Some of them are down to plain bad luck, but most of them can definitely be traced back to an unwillingness to learn from past mistakes or sacrifice current pleasures.

 

My current approach comes from the 'Teach a man to fish, and he will never be hungry” school of thought. I am very generous with my time and energy and I help the people I care about make plans and try to see all the future possibilities available to them. Most stressed people can only see a single short-term avenue – to borrow – and if I lend money at that point – tin a way I am taking advantage of their weakness and creating a different kind of problem for both of us.

 

And I spend all my spare money on sex lol

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Respect is, as pointed out by LC, a two way street. Yes Holly, you are correct in what you say "you expect your clients to treat you like a regular person". To me that implies that you expect to be respected as a woman, as a sex worker and as a human being. For it is everybody's right to be respected for what they are, male, female, race, creed, etc.

I believe that what LC is referring to is a lack of respect for his honesty in, shall we say, helping a person in need, and in this particular reference, it is a number of WL's who for whatever reason have fallen on hard times, and his generosity in helping them to either keep a roof over their head, or food on their table for themselves, and sometimes, their children.

And I for one cannot see anything wrong in his decision to write of this. It is probably more common than you think, in some areas, and I for one, am guilty of having a "soft heart" and not a "hard head", when I have been approached for the very same reasons as he has pointed out.

No, I'm not being foolish in what I have done, I have simply tried to help out a fellow human being in need at the time, and as I've been "stung" as LC has, then I guess maybe I am guilty of being foolish and weak. Who knows, I just somehow expect that a sense of decency and respect for my generosity will in some way be repaid with respect also.

 

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HollyInGriffith

Posted

A nice person will show gratitude when someone helps them and they will be so happy and have such great respect and they will pay them back.

 

A shitty person will borrow money off people under false pretenses or just cos they can and they wont pay it back.

 

We arent dealing with "Sex workers say we should respect them, but they should respect us"

 

We ARE dealing with "Shifty people who dont do the right thing"

 

See the difference there?

 

Most sex workers would not bite the hand that feeds them so to speak. I have borrow cashed off clients, but ive paid it back. But ive also known them for quite some time outside of the bedroom. 

 

The moral of the story - there are a few bad seeds everywhere, but just cos you got ripped off, doesnt mean you get to mouth off about sex workers and say we should respect you, when its common decency that we all respect each other.

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Holly, you hit the nail right on the head.

 

" common decency that WE all respect each other"

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The moment I meet a client I give respect. How can I expect or in cases demand respect without firstly giving it. Its a two way street and it needs to start somewhere. I do not believe there is enough discussion on the importance of respect for the punter. In a society where people are so self absorbed and feel they deserve everything without doing a thing.

 

I remember when $50.00 was alot to me. I think some who charge the higher amount do forget the value of money. Think they deserve it regardless of what they do. When they forget they are the ones providing the service, no right to be so demanding and self righteous.

 

La Curacha you did your best. You tried. I have no idea where people find it appropriate to almost vilify you and place the blame on you. No you didn't make a mistake you put trust and did what you felt and I'm sure what alot would feel is the nice thing to do.

 

 

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Another money thread?

 

Shit all this forum talks about is money money money....

 

Suprised a seasoned "punter" would be in such a "mess".

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I trust there is more to the story ;)

 

 

Stop lending out money LC….

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And what exactly are you trying to suggest Emma?

 

";)" very catty behavior.

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Ignorance is bliss ;)

 

I think this is an extreme story and you need to stop lending out money… and what Holly said was spot on.

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Is this your way of calling me Ignorant?

 

There is nothing more unattractive than a nasty attitude.

 

So maybe Emma besides continuing on with your insinuations and clearly displaying your poor behavior well...

 

Work on that attitude of yours hey? ;)

 

 

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Oh and Emma lets get this out in the open shall we. 1. Ive read enough of the forums to see you love to argue and go against what people say continually. Which is not a pleasant trait to have.... 2. I have known Lac for years so maybe try again. Instead of being highly vindictive its a blog to put his point across not to have you be yes sweets you be "catty" that is what I would describe your behavior as. XXX

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Calm down Emily.... It was a simple remark and you've taken it the wrong way.

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I am calm.

 

But using emotion symbols like ';-)' then stating "Ignorance is bliss ;)"

 

That is catty behavior.

 

So please do not sit on a public forum so self righteous in the manner in which you speak being very snide.

 

So yeah I see that behavior and ill call it as it is. You love to argue, like you keep coming back. You then private message me... like really? Maybe next time before you type you think about the context in which your writing it first making insinuations etc.

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Take a Valium and calm down..... Jesus.

 

 

No harm in sending a PM to give a friendly private message.... To tell all and sundry about it on a forum - well some would tell you to have some decorum.

 

You have got one thing right.... I love to argue, but sadly around issues that are intresting, require some thought and stimulate my mind. This won't be found on this blog.

 

Anyway.... Let's play a game of "Silence in the court yard...." Also it's ironic you are suggesting my words are loaded

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Like stated I am calm. I am telling you how it is.

Maybe you don't like being put in your place?.

No harm at all in PM although when your saying one thing on a public forum then another to me privately well I'm not going to stand for that. So maybe focus on being straight up then trying to tell me about Decorum.

Having an opinion is one thing. Then continually arguing says another.

I really do like alot of people, I even like the old lady that makes my coffee every morning even though she gets it wrong. But I do not like people who come onto the Internet and are putting a point across in a snide way like you were. Now that finally someone has said something you tell me to calm down? Lol. Whats wrong?. So please stop mincing your words when anyone can read your posts yourself to see you were trying to be a catty girl. Oh and your words aren't loaded similar I expect to your mental capacity to know when to stop.

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