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Why Escorts Save Marriages


HollyJacquesTours

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Blog #3 - "Why Escorts Save Marriages" A somewhat controversial piece that is nothing more and nothing less than my personal opinion.

 

The few friends who know what I do for work often raise the topic of morals, in particular, tending to share their personal views on married men who seek the company of an escort, asking me how I can do what I do knowing that the client 'belongs' to another woman? My friends are acutely aware that I have personally experienced the hurt that comes with "a cheating man" so naturally they struggle to understand how I can be a part of such a situation and do it for a job? Well, surprisingly, I personally feel that I am doing both the wife and the marriage itself a good deed (for want of a better description.)

Now before you go making a judgement, I ask that those of you who strongly resent my claim, to please read on, keeping an open mind to my reasoning? So here we go . . .

 

A man needs sex. A man will get sex if he needs it. If his wife is unavailable to satisfy this primal instinct (for whatever reason it may be) then he is likely to be more susceptible to both the advances of other women and to his own desires of attraction. Now Im certainly not saying that he will definitely go hunting for it just a week or month after not having sex with his wife or partner, and he is highly likely to be supportive and tolerant of his own needs if his wife is pregnant or unwell, but under certain conditions where a man feels that he is being ignored sexually for 'no good reason' he will naturally (biologically) begin to sway?

 

We all know of marriages that are experiencing this type of 'sexless' relationship - they are our friends, our relatives, and sometimes ourselves - and lets face it, most men don't cope with it too well! A woman on the other hand (generally speaking) can go without sex for extended periods of time without feeling this overwhelming, primal need to 'get off' (for want of a better word.) I therefore believe he has 3 options:

  1. he can remain abstinent (and unhappy)
  2. he can go out and meet another woman, or
  3. he can employ the services of a professional escort.

The first option just makes for an unhappy man, which in turn, will more than likely lead to an unhappy home and possibly the end of a marriage? Not what we want.

The second option is the most dangerous for marriages as he begins opening his eyes to other women around him or in todays e-world, exploring dating sites, gaining the attention of love hungry women, who are not looking for sex per se in order to satisfy their sexual urges, but a relationship. He LOVES the attention and his mind suddenly begins to wander and before he realises what is happening, he begins to ponder the possibilities of life with another woman?

The final option a man has in order to ensure he is sexually satisfied is to employ the services of an escort. This is the least dangerous option for marriage breakdown (so long as discretion is involved) and the best option for all stakeholders - the man, his wife and the escort. An escort is there to be a professional; to provide the service requested of her in a manner that is second to none. She is usually a very sexually liberated woman who prides herself on appearance, is warm and friendly, and is attuned to understanding and satisfying her client's sexual needs. Payment enables the encounter to remain professional ie a business transaction if you will, which keeps that professional line between escort and client ever present. She does not want to steal you away from your wife, rather just to enjoy a mutually satisfying enjoyable few hours doing the job she is paid to do. At the end of the booking, he is happy, and completely sexually satisfied, allowing him to return home to his wife with just that little bit of an extra skip to his step, a little more patient and understanding, and just that little bit lighter on the scales (he he ) !!

 

Best,

 

Holly Jacques xx

16 Comments


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Perchance2dream

Posted

No one person can or should try to be everything another person needs

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MelbournePunting

Posted

Love the blog. But I would add another point. The couple should talk and find a resolution. If the relationship is dead, sexually, then does that mean they should keep going or not? It's the most basic of instincts, and it's important to have in a relationship. But if it's not there, then they should look at going separate ways. I know of couples, who once they had kids, he husband and wives started losing intimacy, and then He just feels like the marriage was for one thing and He isn't required anymore.

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Interesting.

 

I realise you are generalising so I won't be too rude about some of the leaps you made, but there are many ways a man can divert sexual urges in a healthy way.

 

Also a man doesn't need sex, he usually only wants sex. Quite a big difference actually. To say he needs sex is the encourage the view that rape is inevitable and that all men are just a sex drought away from being brutal attackers of women.

 

If a man needed sex then a castaway on a desert island would die of no sex before dying of thirst or starvation.

 

If a man needed sex then no one could contemplate a long voyage like a Mars mission etc. without bringing some pretty lady Astronauts along for some perky light relief.

 

A man in a totally sexless environment (like a Marriage lol) can find some way of experiencing some sexual pleasure with himself, someone he has known his whole life and someone that has his orgasm as a top priority.

 

Note also that a man can also lose the urge for sexual expression through depression, medications, ill health, fear, prior negative experiences and all the other many and varied fun forms of mental illness.

 

And to be fair we should include people with no sexual response at all. Thee folks are perfectly normal as well. Sex is just biology and biology is extremely diverse and the normal range is a lot more broad than mainstream folks appreciate.

 

Anyhoo - assuming a man is normal and healthy in every way – whatever that really means – and an escort is available for his sexual pleasure - well this is the ideal scenario. Lets hope he can find a lady as hot as your current avatar pic, to rock his world!

 

I'm enjoying you posts and I look forward to the next.

 

Hugs

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As someone who is in this situation, you are spot on. It is not the ideal situation, but in the absence of sex at home, it is the best alternative.

 

Have to disagree with Kaiser. If a marriage was that dependant on sex, it was probably doomed from the start.

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MelbournePunting

Posted

 

 

As someone who is in this situation, you are spot on. It is not the ideal situation, but in the absence of sex at home, it is the best alternative.
 
Have to disagree with Kaiser. If a marriage was that dependant on sex, it was probably doomed from the start.


If you truly love someone, then sex won't be an issue. You'd still be doing it long after kids, long into your old age, if you're capable.

But if people in love, get married, have kids, then the wife just doesn't want sex anymore, what's the point? I'd understand if it was medical, but if either party just stops having sex because they aren't interested, but they say they say still love them, then it's kind of pointless to stay married.

I just think that you say you love someone, then you take ALL of them, not just the bits you want, like marriage and kids and no sex after certain years.

I have a few friends who are at the moment either looking to get out of a marriage or waiting a couple years (for last child to be of age), and I just got out of a long term relationship. Once the sex stops, and you think of seeing someone else (be it sexual or relationship) then get out. There's no point in continuing. Your focus has shifted or will shift to someone or something else. You just end up being flat mates who might share the same roof and bed and kids.

I know this blog is about saving marriages, but I think it's just delaying the inevitable.
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Escorts can indirectly ruin marriages as well. Note that I'm not against Escorts at all, just trying to add some balance to the points raised above.

 

A typical Escort scenario may be that within a relationship money problems are/is causing great distress. The Gentleman will use some money to adjust his mental health or self medicate loneliness. This leaves the wifey in the position of now having even more money problems, and the other half of the marriage is now very likely to have divided loyalties.

 

Another (probably) common one could be that an Escort may encourage a man to buy something that doesn't really exist. He will continue to devote large chunks of his waking thoughts thinking and preparing for a day that is extremely unlikely to ever arrive.

 

I believe marriage is a blend of ingredients like trust, respect, mutual advantage, lust, love, caring for the children, companionship and being involved with the partners family. A healthy loving relationship can easily absorb the removal of one or two of these aspects.

 

Also I believe that just because the sex stops that does not really mean much by itself. The real question is “why did the sex stop”?

 

If the sex stops because the people just can't be bothered then that is the 'actual' problem, not that the sex stopped i.e. that the people can't be fucking asked to give a shit about each other.

 

Hugs

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We'll just have to agree to disagree, Kaiser.

 

I know in my case, I did not marry my wife because of the sex and just because it has stopped (for reasons I won't go into), I have no intention of leaving her. The love that was behind us getting married in the first place is still there.

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Would you be happy if your man felt he wasn't getting enough sex an decided to see an escort... Seriously? Cheating is cheating. It is also not my place I say what is right or wrong in others relationships.

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HollyJacquesTours

Posted

Hi Emma

Thank you for you comment.

With you being the first female to reply to my post I thought I'd reply briefly to you.

Being involved in the world of escorting allows me an insight that non-escorts do not generally experience and therefore my comments are based on this. Had I understood the industr .y 7 years ago I would most definitely have encouraged my man to visit an escort once a week during a very busy period of my life where I wasn't "available" physically or mentally to make love as often as he wanted and was used to. Instead, I ignored or denied his advances and ultimately was succommed to the interest another woman was showing him at work. They had been seeing each other for about a month before i discovered the affair. I felt so betrayed that i left him the very next day.

For the next 4 years he attempted to get me back but it had cut me too deeply and although we tried a few times i couldnt forgive him or get over it. She had meant nothing more than some fun and attention and sex to him. I had meant everything to him and WE BOTH paid the ultimate price by losing each other forever.

Its not the sex they had that hurt the most, it was the 'relationship' they had. Social outings, sneaking off for brief holidays and meeting some of his friends. You do not get this from a one hour booking with a professional escort thus my views on how escorts can and do save marriages and relationships.

Again, nothing more and nothing less than my personal opinion.

Holly x

 

 

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Thanks Holly, another interesting post (with which I completely agree).

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Thanks Holly I really enjoyed ur blog so true. As they say a W/L never follows you home

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I am glad to have read your thoughts in this blog post, Holly. They have stimulated an interesting discussion about wants, needs, loyalty, professionalism and so on. You did qualify your comments as purely your own opinion, but they also ring true from my own experience. Thank you.

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Hi Emma Thank you for you comment. With you being the first female to reply to my post I thought I'd reply briefly to you. Being involved in the world of escorting allows me an insight that non-escorts do not generally experience and therefore my comments are based on this. Had I understood the industr .y 7 years ago I would most definitely have encouraged my man to visit an escort once a week during a very busy period of my life where I wasn't "available" physically or mentally to make love as often as he wanted and was used to. Instead, I ignored or denied his advances and ultimately was succommed to the interest another woman was showing him at work. They had been seeing each other for about a month before i discovered the affair. I felt so betrayed that i left him the very next day. For the next 4 years he attempted to get me back but it had cut me too deeply and although we tried a few times i couldnt forgive him or get over it. She had meant nothing more than some fun and attention and sex to him. I had meant everything to him and WE BOTH paid the ultimate price by losing each other forever. Its not the sex they had that hurt the most, it was the 'relationship' they had. Social outings, sneaking off for brief holidays and meeting some of his friends. You do not get this from a one hour booking with a professional escort thus my views on how escorts can and do save marriages and relationships. Again, nothing more and nothing less than my personal opinion. Holly x

Hey Holly,

Thanks for the message.

So he had an affair with another woman…. if he felt he wasn't getting enough sex and thats why he started the affair - why didn't he just get his rocks of with an escort? Surely from a cost analysis that would be better? All guys know what a sex worker is and how to find one...

Just my thoughts. 

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