Well, after nearly thirty months of living alone I finally summoned the courage to tackle an issue that has been preying on my mind.
Plug in the set top box.
Its been sitting there, staring at me ever since I moved in over two and half years ago. Unplugged, unloved, useless.
So, after carefully studying the manual, which I had dutifully held onto, I concluded that the author had never ever seen the business end of the wretched appliances I was staring at, let alone actually tried to hook the jolly system up. I scrambled about the floor, dragging the whole jolly mess out of the position near the wall and out into the open. Unbelievable, who in the hell ever designed such a crazy and unintelligible system of plugs and colour coded cables? I noted that yellow, white and red were clearly important as these three colours were pretty much all over the place. Blue, black, grey and green were far less popular. the variety of plug end bits was truly terrifying. But I digress.
Gryphon, the dog, got involved which was not overly helpful, as he clearly had about as much idea as I did, and way more idea than the mongrel who written the so called manual. So I did what generations of mature males have done when faced with the marvels of newfangled technology. I had a beer.
I looked at the evolving mess I was creating. Hmmm, can't be that hard, my teenage kids had successfully plugged it all up in minutes just a few years ago. I was already on the second bottle of beer, and the sun was climbing high ito the sky. I mentally conjurred up what I thought should happen. My concepts were mildly similar to the silly manual. So I plugged it all up and turned the lot on.
To my delight, sound (sorry "Audio")! Good start. A picture preferaby digital would be a good addition. I poked hopefully at little microscopic buttons that were almost invisible to the naked eye. My glasses were over the other side of the room and Gryphon just wagged his tail instead of bringing them over.
To my utter delight, I got a stunning HIGH DEFINITION picture of some cartoon on ABC3. Whahoo, am I a genius or what? A few more poking of buttons and I could actually change channels! Suddenly, those funny little numbers in the teleguide made sense as I furiously tapped the TV stations around at whim. My whim!
Now if I could just find the jolly remote control for the bloody thing!