Conspiring Circumstances: A good name for a pretentious jazz combo, but more probably the basis for a lame explanation for why Trouser is punting/reviewing, after all his fine talk about retirement.

 

Last Saturday I had a big day at work and had a very great desire to wind down with something more substantial than a bit of chat and two or eight beers at the pub. As I pointed my vehicle in the direction of home, I loaded an old AC/DC CD** into the player and was soon rocking to the Young brothers and poor, dead Bon, hammering out an old hit, "Sin City". This was always a favourite tune for me to warm up for a punt and today it put me further into the mood.

I stopped at the main T-intersection in my town: left takes me to an empty house, with the fire out, nothing cooked and a dreadful night of telly; while right puts me in a nice warm RnT joint with someone special in 30 minutes. I sit there for a while. Which way? As I'm pondering a sharp and impatient toot from behind reminds me that other road users have places to be. I look down and notice that I'd already put on the right indicator when I first stopped. I can't go left now, I'd be confusing my fellow driver. Right it is. I crank the stezza to 11 and spin the cookies, Melbourne bound.

I decide to maintain my rage against Bodyline's management and head straight to Bodilinx. I'm shown in by the faultlessly polite receptionist and soon the two available ladies are summoned. Bianca is first to come in and I think that'll be that, as Bianca is very suitable, when in comes Chanel.

Ziggy accurately described this lass and her merits in his fine review, but even without a favourable review I'd have picked her. She's mid 20s, long curly black hair and fabulous large natural tits. She has a dark olive complexion and something very Spanish about her looks, though from her Aussie accent I'd say she is Australian born. She sports a lovely arse. You boys know how I like me arses: broad and plush. This girl's is a cracker.

She's bold and cheeky in the intro. "Watcha wanna know about me?"she says. I'm still recovering from the shock of her entrance and lamely ask, "Um..what extras do you provide?" She gives me a list that includes CBJ. She leaves the room and I tell the receptionist that I'd like to see Chanel for an hour, "I'm sorry, but she can only do 3/4". I'm not fussed, somehow I think this girl will make it work out OK.

I'm completely keyed up and shaking like a first-timer when she comes back and she laughs at me and tells me to relax. She removes her clothes with a flourish and cuddles up to me. "Now", she says "We need to talk about extras. What would you like?" "Well I like a bit of kissing", I venture. "Me too" she whispers and backs up her word with deed. She then says, "Look, I can see that you like it interesting, so you just give me an extra $50 and I'll make it VERY interesting for you". Done.

After I've handed her a fluttering "pineapple", she pulls me to the table and we kiss a little and she positions herself for me to massage her puss. She's so cuddly. I'm engulfed in warm smooth thighs and breasts and she reaches for her baby oil and proceeds to pour copious amounts on my penis and then squirts more all over herself. She sits back and spreads it all over her body and then clasps me again for unbelievably pleasant oily squirming. I beg her to stop, my raging hard-on is fit to burst and we are barely 10 minutes in. She says that I need a massage to calm the situation and treats me to a lovely back massage with LOADS of oil and exquisite fingernail work. It's not long before she's reaching underneath and gently running her hands and tits over my tackle and along my arse. She also runs a warm wet mouth over my thighs, back and bottom. She's good at this. "Come on, up you get, we've got work to do", she beckons. She's now got me well wooded, but in control of it. I gently caress her pussy and it's very pleasantly wet. While I'm doing this, she slips a condom on me and gets on all fours to give me a wonderful CBJ. She then lies back and motions for me to move down, "My turn", she grins. She smells and tastes sweet and I indulge in a little DATY. After this, she reaches down, removes the condom and re-oils my manhood (as we said in the 70s) and gently brings me to a gasping, toe-curling orgasm. While I'm recovering she showers and chats to me about what I do and where I come from and all that. My replies are fitted between deep breaths. I shower and dress.

She takes me to the door in her towel and says, "Make it an hour next time". "I might make it two", I smile. "You do that. I'll see you soon".

And that was that. Chanel's fantastic. She's bold, she's warm, she's funny and she's incredibly sexy.

 

When I first headed to Sin City that evening, I had big, big plans for the night. I'd imagined I'd have a punt, then get a bite to eat, meet up with some pals and maybe even go for another punt somewhere else later on. A cocky braggard, riding for a fall. But now, as the light faded on the industrial facades of this less fashionable district of Yarraville, I staggered to my car, a spend force. Tonight I'd met with a towering, sexual giant and she had vanquished me. My plans lay in ruins. I meekly drove home, went to bed and slept the sleep of the dead.

 

A note to Ziggy. You mentioned in your review that you weren't sure if you liked Chanel's service only because you previously had a bad run of duds. Well allow me to suggest that you more probably liked Chanel because she is absolutely top flight. You were very generous to introduce her to the forum and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

TA

 

** "Powerage", is the album in question, for those about to rock.