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Holly In Griffith's Blog

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Slave Of Society?


HollyInGriffith

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So this morning after waking up and washing the dye out of my hair that i had left in while i slept tongue.png i jumped online, the usual morning coffee routine of checking all the sites i go to and catching up on stuff, i was on twitter and saw a retweeted conversation that was going on between one of my followers and an actor dude from London who was anti sex work.

 

So OF COURSE when i saw the tweet, i had to throw my 20cents worth in there but OMG it is so hard to say what you REALLY want to say in 144 characters and THEN when you have typed out a bit and you need to do a 2nd a 3rd tweet to say what you gotta say and a tweet doesnt go through blah blah. its annoying so i thought id write a blog instead lol. So there are some tweets that appeared from this actor guy and a few other randoms butting in and the conversation was going nuts lol but there were a few that i wanted to make comment on...

 

Even if it's not, it doesn't matter? Don't kid yourself, no one is in that industry through conscious free choice.

 

No one ay? Um, yeah, i made the choice. A lot of people i know made the choice.

I also know that there are people out there who didnt get a choice, who were forced into it. I dont deny these people exist and i of course feel sorrow for their pain. No one should be forced into prostitution.

 

The decisions of the vulnerable, and in some cases naive, aren't exactly free choices.

 

 

Yes that is correct. Some of the people are naive and vulnerable and that is horrible. But in the society i live in, where there is decriminalization, the majority of people in the industry are making free choices. I acknowledge that in different countries this is not the case. But if the world could use NSW, Australia as an example, a way to make life great for the sex workers who choose their job and an awesome way to make it alot harder for sex traffickers and people who are doing the wrong thing.. if the world looked at this and tried it out, i think they would get the same results and then no longer would the stereo type for a sex worker be "abused, on drugs, not by choice"

 

you think it's ok for people to pay for sex and or be paid. Sorry but that's insulting.

 

Im not insulted to be paid for a service. A service i enjoy and a service that is needed by many people in this world.

 

95% of actors are unemployed, including me, I've paid bills over last 2 years in London, Manhattan & LA without selling myself

 

I do not "sell myself" I take "myself" home with me every night. Not everyone can be a sex worker, not everyone wants to. Just like, not everyone can be a waiter.. not everyone wants to either lol. You find a job that suits you. Sex work doesnt suit you, but it does me... and thats ok. I respect your choice not to be a sex worker!

 

do you not find it empty & soul destroying?

 

No, i have found it to be very satisfying. I have found myself by being a sex worker. It liberated me sexually, emotionally and of course financially and made me find my own inner strength. It brought me to this point in my life, a point where i am content, i am happy, i feel at peace, i feel loved, i feel just the way i should be smile.png

 

But if i had been forced into it, yes i believe i would feel all of those things. If i was a drug addict i might feel that way too. If i was doing this job and hating it, i would feel empty and soul destroyed . but i would feel that way in any job i did and hated.

I was lucky, i found a job that i loved. I wish everyone the same happiness!

 

do you respect the men who pay you for sex? Some who are cheating on wives and girlfriends

 

Absolutely. Most of my clients are lovely people. Sure you still get the odd jerk here and there but i met more jerks when i was working in customer service lol, compared to that, i have met less jerks in sex work. I respect my clients because when they come to me, its a safe space for them. No two clients are alike and their needs/reasons for seeing sex workers differ. They respect me, i respect them. Its a two way street.

 

Cheating to me is defined by who has your heart. If my partner has sex with another person, its just sex.. but if they have an emotional attachement to that person, they have feelings for that person, that to me is cheating.

 

I would never advocate shaming. I think you're victims of society who should be respected and supported.

 

Victims of society how? The only victim of society issue i can see is that we are victims of being only known of as VICTIMS.

If you want to respect us, listen to us, ALL of us, not just the sex workers who's story is negative and fits in with your ideal of the industry. Get the WHOLE picture, not just one side.

 

What it all comes down to is this.... yes we ALL want to stop trafficking. Yes there are parts of this industry in some countries where trafficking occurs and we need to stop it

But how about we all do it together? All fight for the same cause. A fight in which not only the victims can be helped, but also the rights of the other sex workers are taken into consideration. We are not criminals, we should not be punished along with the traffickers. We dont want the corruption in the industry any more than you do!

 

Its ok if you dont agree with sex work. Thats your choice! I respect your choice. Heck i could never be an actor, i mean really, dont they kinda become a slave to society anyways......?

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The giveaway is "The decisions of the vulnerable, and in some cases naive, aren't exactly free choices."

There is no such thing as a free choice. Every choice we make is constrained by our attitudes, environment, tastes, circumstances and a whole host of other things. His attitude is basically one of arrogance, if he thinks that he has a free choice about anything. There are plenty of people who enter other occupations and because of their vulnerability and/or naivety end up being exploited. The answer is not to deny those occupations, but to provide as much protection as possible to prevent abuse of people.

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Yes I've worked customer service a lot, and seen all types of people.

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Henry it's free choice as no one is telling you to make a choice. Choices aren't just plucked from thin air - which is where you are correct "Every choice we make is constrained by our attitudes, environment, tastes, circumstances and a whole host of other things". Think about it this way - who did you vote for? Did you vote for X because I told you to or because of other factors?

 

Agree with everything else you say.

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i think people make generalisations based on a limited viewpoint.

 

i have met WLs who hate their job and feel trapped in the system. But isnt that the same with all industries - we cannot all love the work we do.

 

i have met other WLs who love their job.

 

The latter delight in sharing time with their clients. They understand that their client has a need. Whatever that need may be varies from person to person.

 

What I came to appreciate is the beautiful interaction between human beings. You see it in the eyes on the person you are with. You notice it in the eyes of people delighting in each other. That is the special moment.

 

Yes, it is a monetary transaction but that doesnt make it wrong. In fact, it helps make clear boundaries and allows the service giver to provide the service.

 

People who think it is wrong will continue to view it as such and will keep thinking unless they develop a new perspective.

I was a very black & white person and had similar views as your tweeter when I was younger. But life taught me a new perspective - and keeps teaching me as it does all of us.

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I am really enjoying your blogs and thankful that I have found them.

:)

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