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Holly In Griffith's Blog

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Whore Violence


HollyInGriffith

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In life, some bad shit happens to people.

Sometimes this is because of choices we make... and sometimes its not.

I have been spat on

pushed to ground

had my arms twisted behind my back

a pillow placed over my head to suffocate me

strangled multiple times

slapped in the face and body

held hostage for over 60hrs

woken up to a knife in my face

punched closed fist in the mouth

cut along my legs when i refused sex

Now some may look at this list and think 'She's a sex worker, of course this has happened, its part of the job"

You are so wrong

All of those things happened while i was in committed relationships.

Before i even considered getting into the adult industry.

Way back when i thought 'whores' were disgusting and when i thought i would never let myself be disrespected like that...

yet i was in relationships where i disrespected myself by staying and allowing myself to be treated this way.

Granted i was young... i thought they loved me.. i made justifications for their actions.. i forgave them.... i loved them!

People assume because i am a sex worker that i am exposed to those kinds of violences on a daily basis.

This is false.

In all the years in the industry, i can think of only a handful of really bad experiences, and only this year did i have an experience with a client that i could not control and i was hurt.

1 major incident in 11 yrs? Thats pretty fucking good if you ask me!

Sure there have been jerks who have tried to start crap, but you quickly learn how to steer a booking in your direction or get the hell out. Some times you do suck it up a little and put up with a situation, even if you dont like it.. its kind of like a survival thing kicks in..

Ive punched a few clients, ive thrown their clothes out doors and sent them out into the cold naked, ive laughed in their face and told them to "get the fuck out", plus much much more. These kinds of things have been done to prevent myself from a nasty situation. Sure, these scenarios could have turned really bad.. but there is something scary about a naked woman who just snaps and goes mental.. naked men get freaked the fuck out!

It may be because of the fact that i only offer a very vanilla service, that i have not had high numbers of incidences and perhaps sex workers that offer more full on stuff, maybe their numbers of major incidences would be higher over 11yrs... but the fact of the matter remains, that these pathetic excuses of people, the ugly mug kind of client i speak of, the fact remains that they are small in numbers, they are not the majority (thank god)

There was a study done regarding sex work, the Lash report (i think ive mentioned it a billion times) and it says that sex workers have no more and no less sti's than the general population....

... i say - sex workers are exposed to violence no more and no less than the general population.

If i were to use myself as a case study, i can honestly say that Holly has experienced less violence working in the sex industry compared to that of her personal relationships.

There are fucked people everywhere. just because you are a doctor, an accountant, a teacher, a chef, that does mean you are safe from violence.. it doesnt mean that you wont ever have a hand raised at you,.. it doesnt mean that you wont ever feel fear.....

Being in the sex industry and i guess in a way living through domestic violence, i have become a stronger woman.. I am very headstrong.... I know my job well and if i encounter a possibly problematic client, i thrive on it... i get off on twisting the situation to make them feel small.. to make them feel weak and powerless...

Many of my friends outside of the industry have said that i "wont ever find a man that can handle" me... i am too independent... i am too masculine in the way i do some things...

This may be so... but all i know is, i am happy.. and i wont accept violence of any kind in my life.

I am not every sex worker.

I can only speak for myself

This is my experience

No two experiences are ever alike....

 

Sex work is not the evil that society likes to think it is.

Yes bad stuff does happen..not every sex worker is as lucky as me ...

But i really really wish they were...

8 Comments


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Holly,

 

as an accountant, I too thought it was a "safe" job. Several years ago I was assaulted by a client because I had withheld his books as he owed me fees. I had a legal lien over his books, but he punched my lights out anyway. Broke my nose and lacerated my ear. He was charged and went to court. I have the pics to prove it.

 

I refuse to work with my back exposed nowadays. I do not appreciate clients on my side of the desk or table. In my experience they can and do harm me. I have the scars.

 

Charlie

xoxox

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Thank you for that Holly. It just shows, yet again, that commonly held beliefs about particular groups or people in particular jobs can be so wrong.

 

I suspect you are correct in saying that WLs are exposed to no more or less violence than the general population.

 

Looked at another way, you are in a face-to-face client service industry. I suspect that the average worker in any face-to-face client service industry would be doing very well to have only a single major incident of violence in 11 years. Charlie, you kindly provide a case in point and I hope your scars have healed.

 

BTW, Holly, I think "difficult" women are hot!! ;-)

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HollyInGriffith

Posted

Thanks for the comments!

 

I was watching a show last night about USA work place violence... man it was some scary shit... and they were "normal" jobs! Killings, stalking, harassment... it seems no where over there is safe.. but i feel safe...safe in the sex industry bubble i live in :) YAY!

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This is great :) and inspiring.

 

I too have suffered at the lands of merciless exes...but hardly ever in a booking. And in terms of clients, I am very intuitive about whether or not someone seems like a creep...or a bit flakey...and my intuition always enables me to spot who would be a troublemsome client, because there are usually indicators. Prevention is better than cure. I know that some WLs will have had horrific experiences through their work (which is dreadfully, dreadfully unfortunate and sad) but I don't like the perception that we get beaten black and blue regularly, have sex for free in exchange for heroin, are full of disease, went wrong in life...blah blah blah.

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Well put yet again Holly, I was sorry to hear of your earlier experiences, I have zero tolerance for that kind of shit. I am very glad to read you are now able to stop it in it's tracks and don't often have need to.

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