Posted Sunday at 02:13 PM
a) no they're not 'closet gays' but as with Tony, I suspect your view is probably entrenched and I'm not going to be able to change your mind ...
... so instead I will address
b) how on earth do you figure its 'easy money'? Lol. To peg someone I need to make sure I have all the correct equipment (not cheap), and then I need to fuck a bit like a guy. Not that easy a feat for a woman, but you can learn it. So I'm exerting as much energy as you do when you have sex.
And then there's the care and caution for the gent himself, particularly if he is new to the experience.
And then, there's the possibility of accidents, again very often with an inexperienced gent. I'm fairly earthy and I don't freak out at a little poop. But there have been some pretty full on accidents from time to time. So factor in laundry and whatnot.
No easy money there, friend. 🤣
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Ok well getting back on the punt is so much easier now that the internet is up and running or so I thought.
Back in the day you rang the girl she gave the usual description , busty, fit and size of her cock and a quick run down of what she offered. Though when you got there whether it was a TS or a female WL what description you were offered must have been lost in translation.
With the internet it appears even though we now have pics the pics may be old, retouched or just not the girl that opens the door.
Generally if I see a pic of a girl I think I am booking I expect the girl in the same condition as the photo to open the door. Recently booked a TS WL who in the photos looked stunning and even when I requested a selfie looked enough like the photos for me to head into town. Getting to the hotel and up to the room I was extremely horny when she opened the door and we'll wasn't what I was expecting. She was about a good 10kgs heavier than the photos.
I was now in a conundrum do I continue with the booking as a fair bit of logistics goes into organising bookings these days or do I walk. She was still sorts attractive and when I mentioned that I wasn't sure going through with the booking she assured me of a good time.
By this stage I was extremely hard and was about to go hand over the was and head to the shower, when I said No, sorry you are just not what I was expecting. She mentioned something but I was already out the door.
Probably the most frustrating thing is that was my punt for the week and now I have to try and balance my life and organise myself again which is easier said than done.
In saying that it appears there is a bit of talent arriving in the city on the next week so hopefully my next experience is a good one
It probably depends on whether she has an epiphany later in life like I did ...
Fuck, this Government job sucks, I'm really over it, but love the money.
Holy shit, I am going to be 141 by the time I pay off my house.
Holy shit, I forgot to have kids and get a husband, but I spent my life building a career (somewhat) and focusing on being a long term dating girl ....
If only I had put my energy into my future, career not being an awesome girlfriend to another handsome guy who waved at me.
Time to be single and get it together...
Hey, I know what, I might be an escort. Because it beats writing speeches.
Or was a clever smart girl at 20 and made it a career to get incredibly wealthy and works for a good ten years.
Hindsight as the Menzas would say, is that if I had my current brains and could go back in time, I would be a smart 20 year old.
But I'm several years shy of 40 so perhaps a few years as a wee career diversion.
But wow, it's been damn exciting.
And it stops me dating because I have lots of dates.
However I can laugh, because at a party if someone asks me,
Oh you don't have a husband?
I'm thinking oh yes I have plenty of husbands.
(just not mine).
Sorry terrible joke.
Been punting for over 20 years off and on and have seen a lot of things. From punting with a mate and bumping into our married boss to walking past open doors in an Asian brothel and basically getting a free sex show but with old men.
Here is a list of my weirdest experiences on the punt:
1. After a particularly heavy industry awards night decided to stop do some brothel creeping. Get into the in brothel head is spinning do some intros and the next thing I remember is fucking a big busty blonde from behind while she locked out another big busty blonde and then swapping..... I have no idea how I ended up with the two but when I got the CC bill I was like shit.....still an awesome fuckin time....the bits I remember
2. Booked a MILF who worked privately in Surry Hills when I was just a pup. Had seen her previously was about 40ish massive tits and a brunette who looked a bit like a MILF pornstar. Anyway she lived in a block of flats with a shared bathroom. I go to the bathroom and come back just with a towell on. Her neighbour was a TS WL who I bumped into walking back. She stares at my boner and says are you here to see me...with that my WLs door opens and I say can we have a threesome and that is what we had. Putting the WL on the spot with the TS was fucking awesome and then fucking the TS while she got her dick sucked was also a highlight and cumming together all over the WL was an amazing experience.
3. Fucking an Asian private in her house in the kitchen, when I am guessing her mum came home and just walked past us while I was hammering away. She was finishing me off with. BBBJ when she walked back in as we had moved to the couch and just remember her looking at me while I was blowing my load was fucking weird and I got out of there pretty quickly.
4. I used to punt with a mate who I did night shift with and we had plenty of doubles and I introduced him to the world of the TS punt and generally we had a wicked time. Though one time we were lining up some stunners at a high end Brothel in Sydney when out past reception comes our married boss drunk but extremely surprised when we called him out. He looked at us said basically what the fuck are we doing and left. He never said anything for the year and a bit I worked for him but he did cut me a lot of slack think he was glad when I resigned.
5. Was out after work and keen for a punt and was brothel crawling through Surry Hills when I was about to walk into an Asian brothel when I noticed a few more people standing around near the entrance than normal. They looked a bit suss so coming from a security background I engaged them and decided to keep walking. Turns out they were immigration/police and raised the place. Dodged that bullet.
6. Last but no least was I was addicted to punting and was punting or having sex at least 3-4 a week with WLs girls I picked up at work working nightclubs or on the net. I got to the point where I was not cumming and would just tap out. Booked a young busty girl (my type) in Chatswood who worked for a super hot South American MILF type semi private who wouldn't duck me because she thought I would be better suited to her younger harem. Anyway was banging away at the poor girl for an hour, she had sucked some fucked me and I had negotiated to duck her in the ass but a lot of screaming but no cumming. I am so horny I ask her to get the madam as I still want to fuck. Madam comes in I am naked with a rubber on my cock. I ask her if I can watch her fuck busty blonde then I join in. I name a price and she walks away. I am like oh fuck all bonerer up and no where to go. Anyway busty blonde is just sitting on the bed when Madam comes back takes my money and starts stripping revealing beautiful dark Latina skin and a set of humungous tits. She starts kissing blondy and they are going for it well madam was I think blondy was in shock anyway I walk over to the bed and put my cock I. Madams mouth. It is either going to get bitten or sucked she starts sucking while blondy is eating her out. I am starting to get really hard again a d she slips a rubber on and start banging away on her while blondy licks my balls. Lasted no where near as long as I wanted and came hard. Saw a few of her girls off an on but never got to duck her again. Must have been a moment of weakness but lucky I got to visit....
I lost track of the amount of times I have gotten the wrong girl come to the room after intros in Asian brothels and marched towards reception in my towell to get the girls I chose......good times or being left in a brothel room waiting for an introduction watching porn and realised they forgot about me and walking out and they were like Oh sorry......got looked after but realised I had been in there for over an hour so must have fallen asleep.
Hopefully I can add to these experiences but living in Canberra now the punt here is quite boring and combined with a few health scares in the ACT scene had meant a lot of the talent has been slow to come back ......
Ok, going to discuss the reasons why I see the TS WLs I do and what services I partake in and why I do it.
I like to dominant during sex, no matter who I am with. Occasionally I have been challenged by various partners and had my boundaries pushed but by and large I am definitely dominant in sex.
This can be challenging navigating the World of trans ladies. Having been with trans women and trans WLs I feel I am experienced enough to know that often even when the trans think they are being submissive, traits of their previous lives occasionally come through, rarely but it depends where on the journey they are as well.
Back on topic. I have never been penetrated except with a few fingers and while that is incredibly stimulating for me I feel that to be penetrated would change the way I view sex and I don't want that. I might be missing out as a few TS WLs have told me but I am happy with my choice. I have progressed through to 69s and sucking trans cocks and utilising skills various WLs have shown me over the years love the power of making them cum quickly when they may think they have the upper hand. Sex is a powerplay and I like to have the power.
Hence why I like to top especially from behind where I can control the tempo and play with her cock and totally control the situation. It is incredibly erotic to be stroking her ass and dick at the same time. I once had the pleasure of doing doubles with two Asian trans who I think wanted me as a sandwich but I ended up topping both and having one sucky balls while I fucked her friend and licking my cock in between thrusts. Incredibly messy but one of the best TS fucks I have had.
I love being dominant and am surprised that more TS are not bottoms but understand that there is a market out there for guys who want to be fucked. Watching the two trans fuck each other during our booking did not make me want to get fucked but did make me keen to fuck the other one. As I said was a messy fun time but one O would definitely do again.
As I am back on it again I am on the hunt for a great bottom TS , even jumped into the world of the SBs and found a trans who was good for a while but was too close to a relationship and that is not what I want.
Well as I wait for some talent to come back to come Canberra town it has got me thinking about some of the great TS WLs that I have been lucky enough to have the pleasure of getting down with.
Probably the best was Ashante who I saw on numerous occasions. Long legs , big tits and nice cock and a WL that never tried to rush me out the door. The fact that you could also watch her porn vids and get hard before meeting definitely didn't hurt.
My best punt was when she was working out of a small apartment on Oxford Street. I worked just down the road as a night manager at a hotel and that night I had probably buzzed in about 10 escorts to the hotel and this had me horny. I knew most of the escorts as the hotel was full of business travellers and had often gotten a BJ off the girls or a quickie in a vacant room during my time there. Anyway I was really horny this night and I was due my break and said to the night porter I am off on my break message me if you need help. I had called Ashante earlier and organised to be her last booking of the night.
It was literally 3 mins to her door she buzzed me in and opened the door wearing hot lingerie and high heels. I was about to blow when she grabbed my cock and started sucking. I quickly undressed and pulled off her lingerie and started playing with her cock. There is something about a TS cock and watching it get hard is not like watching a guy get hard when you are mfm with a girl.
Anyway managed to hold on before it was too much and blew all over her tits. Off to the shower where we both cleaned up played cock swords ....and I am not small but her she cock was winning and back to the bed. Slipped the rubbers on and pulled her while pumping away until I just couldn't take it and came hard in her ass. I wanked her hard until she came and we were both a mess.
This was how you should spend you break from work I was thinking. Back into the shower where I got hard again and she sucked me off and I blew... finally soft. Got dressed thanked her and went on my way.
I worked there for just over a year and probably spent about 60 work breaks with WLs and about 15 of those with Ashante. Many of the WLs would drop by the hotel when I was the only one on duty and I would fuck them in a vacant room. Good times and many of the TS WLs would use the hotel and we're often coy when booking in as they often checked in late but I would strike up a conversation and this led to many a freebie.
Writing this just had me eager for the punt and I have definitely become more confident in my TS punting going from a straight topping on the WL to playing with their cock and 69er with them which is fucking orgasmic with the right WL. I like to dominant and will blog another time as why I like to dominant with TS and how it makes me feel.
Well after many years away after a bit of an episode that enforced a break I decided it was time to get back on the 'horse so to speak'. TS are an addiction of mine ever since I first picked one up inadvertently in Sydney one night.
I was really confused why she would not let me fingers her walking back to my place and still remember her saying are you sure you want to do this. I was like of course and after getting a BJ to die for I fondled her panties and was met with a cock......... after getting extremely hard again and fucking her it is fair to say I was hooked. The feeling of thrusting while pulling on her cock was definitely something I decided I enjoyed. So much so I went back quite a few times but stopped when she wanted more.
That was my intro to TS and have found that TS escorts meet the needs without the attachment. That is what I want and am happy to pay for the service.
After my enforced lay off I felt the TS urge again and had the chance to see TS Christina while on a work trip, which the review is in the site. I had seen her a few times in the past so new what I was in for and definitely enjoyed it.
I see both TS and female escorts but there is just something about the TS BJ that gets me off everytime. Years ago I remember seeing the TS pornstar Ashante and her blowing me so hard that it is one and only time I could not control my cumming.
One thing O have noticed coming back to the punt is the high number of TS available on the various classifieds but when making contact or actually making arrangements to see they are either not interested or using different profiles. Before the internet it was always pot luck when you turned up about the description especially the term 'Busty' but it hasn't really changed now. I love a busty TS and consider it more important than the cock.
Just an introduction blog and hopefully I will add to it in the future with new story's or be reminiscing about past punts with Ashante, Tyra and many other TS babes who I have had the pleasure of seeing.
Posted 11 July
I had a lady whip out her handphone and get me to record her giving me a BJ once. I didn't know what she planned to do with the video, but I didn't care much because only a "small" part of me was in the video.
Those of you who are regular visitors to the PP chatroom may have noticed my recent absence. Or you may not have; I doubt my absence has been particularly conspicuous, especially given that a significant number of people - mainly WLs - who used to visit the chatroom on a regular basis now no longer do so, and some have withdrawn from all participation in PP, including the forums.
I suspect that the reason for these chatroom regulars disappearing is that in recent months the chatroom has turned into the wretched hive of trolling, misogyny and racism that PP's most strident critics have claimed (wrongly, at the time) that it always was. Regrettably I suspect that this incorrect criticism became a self-fulfilling prophecy. A small group of hard-core fuckwits (they know who they are) have infested the chatroom, and the decent people are gradually being driven out because they don't want to put up with the blatant and unabashed racism, sexism, nazism, anti-semeticism and general trolling and fuckwittery that the fuckwits carry on with on a nightly basis. The chatroom is no longer a pleasant place to be, and the people that I mainly used the chatroom to talk with don't use it any more, so the KKK-lite can have it for themselves, and carry on with their inane prattle to their heart's content.
Jayme Lee Fox
Posted 12 April, 2014
I think it be the same as when I buy a bottle of Johnny blue
but then Its over
and when ready i buy a new one
One of my favorite quotes. It took some time to find but was worth the effort, enjoy.
After literally hundreds of punts, I can still remember my first. I was 18 and it was at a small brothel in Dandenong called Magic Movements (now just a vacant block of land). It would have been about 1986. Who would have thought that a 20 minute session would turn into a life long affliction (and addiction).
I keep reminiscing and trying to rate my punts. There have been a couple of real standouts - women I have really clicked with and felt really attracted to in more than just a sexual level. There have also been some complete shockers. Overall, the disappointing and regretful punts far outweigh the great ones, but I keep going back for more.
Posted 2 hours ago
A SW told me once as she was walking to the room with a client they passed another punter heading to reception. Her client exclaimed,
”Hey, I know your missus”.
He really didn’t know her, but the SW said the look of shock on the other guy’s face was priceless.
Dedicated lover of women
So I have arranged an upcoming punt with the infamous Paige Thomas (@PaigeThomasMelb).
i have read a lot of reviews about her and have followed her twitter account for a while (twitter handle above). I decided while in melbourne for an upcoming business trip, I’d enduldge myself to a great (time with this lovely lady).
I first contacted her her via twitter to discuss her availability for our particular meeting. It didn’t take long for Paige and I to agree on a date and time.
She asked that I pay $100 deposit to secure the booking (which I did with in 48hrs).
Inhave since contacted Paige asking if I could completely prepay her fee (as I’m a bit paranoid about carrying that much cash on me). She agreed.
now I have contacted her again wondering if she has a female friend that would be happy to join us.
im really hoping for a hot 3some, so stay tuned punters!!
remember, Happy Punting!!
Jayme Lee Fox
Posted 7 hours ago
Advice I gave you in the other thread
Same applies here
Walk into your kitchen pick up a frying pan
smash yourself hard over the head and repeat
don't be a dick head .
So while I have been at it now for a year and with the recent departure of the backpage/cracker experience, going to my usual punter spots is beginning to become a game of what's new/who haven't I seen before, I'm slowly becoming very uninterested.
I don't think I'm ready for blue chip WL like privates advertised here(I just feel unworthy at this point); but I am interested in getting a new area to run through.
So far I find myself often visiting Manhattan Terrace as it seems to have what I think is a broad selection of WL with some even being my general type of girls that I tend to go for, Club 741 for some gems and Spellbound since it's the cheapest for caucasian/euro girls and have been okay a lot of the time.
I have been to other places like The number 1, CLub 859 which I stopped visiting thanks to some pretty sub par experience, whisper's studios, Maison D'amor(the Korean put me to sleep and ended up with some savage comments on both ends), The Harem(used to be an old favourite for having some really good new girls) RIP and California Club(also bad experience, too bad to mention).
I want to get some suggestions for those who read this. I'm mainly after petite Caucasian/European girls, between 18-25, pale if possible and has lots of energy. I know if nothing else, I'm gonna try again and get some time with Lana in CC or MT, some of the other girls in SB, and Kim from 859.
Tell me what you think.
“Hey! Not much.... about to go to work.... what’s up? Is Alex being a fuckbag again?”
I wasn’t really sure what to reply so I kept it relatively simple.
“I want you” I got a reply back within seconds.
“Want me for what?” I wrote back quickly without even thinking.
My social retardation kicked in around about now. What the fuck was he talking about? At this point, I still hadn’t gathered exactly what he was getting at. I initially thought he was setting me up.
I didn’t reply to anything else until I got to work. I met Ivy at the door and off we went to the outside area like two giggling schoolgirls. I reluctantly handed my phone to her, she grinned and told me to trust her “This is going to be HILARIOUS” she said.
A few back and fourth messages ended with “Ill see you tonight at 8 x” It was set. Ivy had pimped me out for our own amusement. I was impressed but petrified.
“Now come inside. We need to get every bit of hair off your body” she grabbed my hand and we shuffled back inside.
I hadn’t heard from Alex all day, which seemed strange so I would randomly go into a panic thinking I was being set up. What if I get there and he’s there as well wanting a gangbang? Jesus, my mind raced all day long. The afternoon was a blur.
The last thing I remember was waving goodbye to the girls in the car park and them virtually applauding me as I drove out the drive way. Like my own personal cheer squad.
I pulled up next to Ivy who assured me I’d be fine. “Alex fucked this guys daughter” she reminded me. “It’s time to show those fuckers whose boss”.
Operation “Sex with a trollops father” had begun.
It was roughly 7pm when my phone buzzed. It was Alex.
“Can I come over?”
“Nah, I’m tired as, I’ll see you tomorrow”
No reply. Didn’t care. Fuck off mate.
I nervously drove to the agreed meeting point. I was looking over my shoulder like I was about to commit a crime but a big part of me was confident. This shy chubby girl from the southeastern suburbs scrubs up all right when she puts her mind to it. I also was as hairless as a sphynx cat. Cheers to my ladies at the whorehouse.
I noticed Peter’s car instantly then I noticed him leaning against the bonnet having a cigarette. “Ew...” was my initial thought. I fucking hate smokers. But I wasn’t there to marry the guy, let’s face it.
I got out of my car like something you’d see in the movies. Hair flick, slow-mo, “I’m hot, come get some” sorta thing. I bet I looked retarded but at this point, I felt as desirable as a Victoria’s Secret model.
Eye contact was made and before I knew it, we were engaging in some soft porn on the bonnet of his car. He didn’t even buy me dinner, the rude prick. It was almost like he had a wife and kids to go home to................
Jokes aside........ Engaging in coitus in a public place is illegal I believe so we (with all our class) jumped into the backseat of his car. There wasn’t even a moment of awkwardness until I found my leg stuck between the door and his daughters horse saddle.
“That’s Sarah’s....she constantly leaves shit in my...” “I don’t care” I cut him off.
After all, I was about to leave my scent in his car so who was I to judge? Haha!
So the wonderful 46-second service ol mate Peter provided was a let down but I don’t think I’ve ever felt so satisfied in all my life. It was a type self gratification I’d never experienced before. And wouldn’t again...... until a lousy 48 hours later when I found myself in Peters marital bed. Yes I went back for seconds.... and thirds the following night. Talk about cocky.
A week or so later, I forced myself to spend time with Alex. I would have much rathered watch grass grow but never the less; off to the shops we went like a “happy” couple.
I tolerated him even though he was the biggest douche bag in the world. He was ass kissing something hard so I played along - whatever mate. I banged ya side chicks dad, who’s the real winner?
I was getting bored at the shops so I was about to txt Ivy to give me an SOS call. “Quickly Mariah, something bad has happened” kind of thing. I needed an escape.
That was until in the isle that ironically stocked condoms and lube, we ran into Alex’s side chick and you guessed it, her darling father Peter.
“Hey....” Alex chimed towards them.
My heart was pounding. I actually owned this whole situation and everyone in it. I’ve got the POWWWAAAA.
“Hey Mariah, sorry, Can I just have a talk to you quickly?” Sarah had the audacity to ask.
“Sure thing” I replied, confidently
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry for the whole me and Alex thing...” she waved her fingers back and fourth towards her and Alex as if to really point out that they’ve fucked each other behind my back.
I glanced over at Peter who seemed as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He was so nervous his ball sack would have been sweating.
I sniggered. Actually it was more of a snort. She was actually serious.
“Yeah nah that’s cool.....” I said with a smile. “I hope we’re cool about the whole me and your dad thing”
I dropped the basket of groceries and gave all three of them the two finger salute as I walked away.
But I wasn’t done. I had a fire burning deep within. Possibly an STI I caught off Peter but most probably the desire to ensure they all knew exactly what went down 72 hours prior....... (down being the operative word)
I turned back around and stopped. I held my fingers like a “V” over my mouth and licked the air. “I hope you changed the sheets, Petey boy. I squirted everywhere!”
And I walked out as if I had just dropped an atomic bomb on all of them. Which I suppose I did.
You know it's funny, I'd never thought i would even consider paying for sex as a younger man. But trying to live "a good life," and constantly doing the right thing hasn't gotten me very far. So I now look at myself and see a man who will never look that good again, god it's depressing. But it didn't strike me that way till recently.
So i don't punt.... yet. But i see how when i look at my last few weeks.
After a bit of hard work in the back yard one weekend, I had a gap in my appointments one Tuesday afternoon. My back was killing me, (if you're 40 and carrying 15kg that you shouldn't be, you know how I feel,) and i spy a thai massage clinic. You know the ones, nice looking bali pictures in the window, but just an old deli shop converted into something else. I see that i can claim it on my health insurance so I ask the lady when can i get a back massage? Come back in a half hour I'm told, so i do. Honestly I'm feeling naughty more for skipping work than anything else, but the massage goes the way i expected, relieved my pain, clinically and without fuss. So when I ring a fortnight later to indulge in the same type of pain relief, i was disappointed there were no appointments to match my window. So i had a quick look online for a similar service nearby, finding one quickly. I got an appointment at the right time, for the same amount too. When i got there I could have sworn it was the same place! Until i walked into the room to get ready. I was led into the room by a short, slim, late 40s asian lady. The room was a bit dimmer but otherwise the same as I'd seen before. She says "you take off everything, I come back." I'm sure it's a language thing and strip to my jocks and climb on the table and wait. She came back a minute later and says "no everything better for massage," catching me a little offside. Not one to fuss, i drop my underwear and get back on the table. She begins like i expect, with a couple if variations, tiger balm which stings the fuck out of you when you don't expect it for one. She works my back well for a bit, even gets up and walks on my back. I'm enjoying this and its helping the back pain relief. Then she starts on my legs. Taking her time as at least one of them I'm feeling calf strain, she picks it and works on it hard without me even telling her. As she works up my legs the towel gets removed, and i get why I'm naked, undies would have been drenched in oil otherwise. So she works my glutes and lower back, which is still relaxing as hell and not erotic in the slightest, and she starts a little small talk. "You got a nice ass," she says, which I've had with most women, I was quite the athlete body wise and have still got some redeeming features. I thank her, and she keeps working my legs. As I'm relaxing I noticed her paying a lot more attention to my upper legs and ass, and my mind starts to comp to the idea... is she? Her fingers brush really close to my asshole and at least once she caressed my balls in a manner that left me no doubt of her intentions. She asks me to turn over, and half horny already, (and mildly shocked my health fund was covering this,) I comply. I'm half hard as I lie down and she makes a noise like, " ooooooh, someone's happy," to which I have no fucking idea what to do, so i shut up and lie down. She begins half heartedly doing my chest and arms all while staring at my cock. Then she lean's in and whispered, " you want?" motioning a hand job motion. Now I'm married, but through circumstance have been without for many years (not my wifes fault.) I though for a second and said nothing. She then says "fifty dollar," which snaps me out of it. "No thanks," I smiled, but this doesn't seem to deter her. She has a hand on my chest and the other on my leg, and it doesn't seem long before she's working her way to the engorged area again. I'm not prepared to pay an older asian lady for a bloody hand job, but I'll be damned if I'm going to stop one happening gratis. She starts in earnest now, actual massage now giving way to a wank. Im now starting to understand it's not her first time. My mind briefly considers how many men has she done this to, but it's really hard to concentrate when you're getting expertly pulled. She looks at my face and motions for me to be quiet, had i been making noise? As I rose, i forgot about work, i forgot about back pain, i forgot about not having sex for 10 years. Hell i barely notice my hand running up and down her ass, (not bad for an older lass,) until it finds its way under her dress. At this stage I'm about to duck a finger inside her panties when I wrestle control back from my dick. My hand leaves her ass, i sit up and stop her. The wank is pretty damn good, but she honestly doesn't do much for me, and I'm not sure I want to know where this ends. So I say sorry, i just can't. Nervous. She smiles and says ok, and just like that the service goes back to a clinical massage. So it finished with a pat down and head rub, which was great, but I left half horny.
So this has been on my mind now for weeks, as it highlighted part of my life lacking. I keep finding myself looking at the RnT sites, and reading reviews, and damn if I'm not hiding a bit of cash away each week to find an hour at a parlor soon. Im just praying it's not gonna be wasted on some woman who doesn't enjoy it as much as i do. Well, praying might be a stretch.
This is a copy of a status challenge on PP.
Recipe Challenge via PP Status Updates ONLY! Challenge three members to do the same.
Photo of food must be included (whether yours or from the public domain). More details up to you but most welcome.
Thanks @AndyJ for the challenge!
WARNING - THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS FC FISTULA'S SENSE OF HUMOR - IF YOU ARE A PRECIOUS SNOWFLAKE THIS IS YOUR WARNING.
How to become a Fat Cunt in 24 easy steps with @FrancoCozzo1935 (TA)!
My recipe today is our family Bolognese pasta sauce, everyone loves a bit of wog food but no doubt you've gone to countless Italian restaurants and opted for the Pasta Bolognese to be sorely disappointed (if not you should be because in my experience they're all fucking fail and AIDS and score 2/10 for taste!)
Feeds approximately 4+ fat cunts or half of Africa.
Shit that you need:
1. Dried basil flakes
2. Chilli Flakes
3. Salt (salty wog ftw)
4. 1x 700g tomato passata
5. 1x decent sized brown onion
6. Garlic (we're using minced because the garlic cloves available locally have been absolutely shitful lately)
7. 4x cans whole peeled tomatoes (preferably Roma or San Marzano if you can get em)
8. Olive oil
9. 800g-1KG of beef mince (preferably Top Side and get it minced from a butcher but we're using shit from IGA today)
9.5. 250-1000g pasta of your choosing.
9.75. Grated/Ground Grana Padano cheese
10. Victoria Bitter (optional)
11. Kleenex (optional)
12. Fleshlight (optional)
Grab a pot, if you have followed this step correctly you should have 1x pot like so (yours should have handles, ours is fucked).
Congratulations you have completed step 1!
Cover bottom of pot in olive oil like so:
Grab a pinch of chilli flakes and chuck those cunts in the bottom there:
Ideally dice and crush up your garlic cloves and chuck em in, or in our case grab a heaped teaspoon of minced garlic and splat that smelly bullshit shit in there like this:
Dice that brown onion up and chuck it in the pot, make sure no one sees you crying to maintain bulk levels of masculinity:
Open your canned peeled tomatoes and sploosh those fuckers in a bowl, then crush those cunts up with your hands of fury! Keep an eye out for any sneaky bastards who still have their skins on, these canned tomatoes were apparently made in Italy and you know wogs bro you can't trust those fuckers to do their job properly, has anyone ever owned an Italian car before? Fuck me dead cunts lift your game.
Cunts fucked! That'll teach em:
Chuck your stove on high, move the onions and assorted shit around in the pot with a wooden spoon until the cunts are all covered in the olive oil and cook your methamphetamines mix up until the onions go 'translucent' (that means 'clear' I think, big words I dunno):
Grab your mince, break the slab up into little 'balls' (lol little balls) with your fingers and chuck em in the pot like so:
Mix up your mix again so everything is mixed around! Onions and mince should be one and the same or some shit like that:
Grab your dried basil leaves and cover the absolute fuck out of the mix, as in use SHITLOADS:
The basil counteracts the acidity of the tomatoes.
Mix up mix again:
You'll notice the mince is sorta going this brown colour and there is water coming out of the mince, we're going to keep cookin' this cunt until it mostly evaporates (also pre mix photo but it demonstrates the watery bullshit we're cooking until it fucks off):
Once the water is mostly evaporating, grab the bowl with your crushed tomatoes and plop that acidic vegetable of DEATH right into the mix, then mix it all up again:
Mixed like a fucking champ:
Grab your passata and pop her open and pour it in and mix the fucker up again:
Take note of the level of the mix on the pot, this is important because we're simmering this tasty cunt up for 3 hours.
Fill your empty passata jar with water and add it into the mix and mix it in.
We need to finally add our salt, fill the wooden spoon to the brim with salt like so (this makes for strong wogs, high blood pressure is like hydraulics bro!):
Mix in the salt
Chuck the lid on the pot, we're still cookin' this cunt on high and we need to bring it to a boil:
We're sorta half boiling:
Now we're boiling (fuck me!)
Move this fucker over to the lowest simmer point on your stove, and keep the lid a little open so it can vent out the steam, you need to mix it up every 20 minutes and we're going to simmer on LOWEST HEAT POSSIBLE for AT LEAST 3 hours.
We need to kill a few hours and mix our mix up every 20 minutes:
We require our optional Fleshlight OR Kleenex for Step 21.
Yes, I am sick of all the 'step mom' and 'step son' clips appearing all over the hub like an epidemic, thanks for the tip!
Well that killed a good 30 seconds!
Keep an eye on the level of the mix in the pot, when the water is evaporating to step 15 levels, we're going to have to add a little more water into it to bring it back up and simmer it back down to approx the same point, it depends on how low you can simmer on your stove, ours is fucking fail and AIDS so it can't go as low as our old one so we require some extra water.
Once she's cooked on low for 3 hours it's good to go:
Grab another pot, one with handles this time and fill the fucker with water (preferably from the tap, so you don't get dysentery, unless you want to kill your guests), bring the water to a boil:
Grab your pasta (this shit is from Costco, it goes alright):
Chuck the cunt in the boiling water (theres 2x 500g packets in here, we're cooking extra so we all got left overs for lunch during the week):
Cook it to how you like your pasta, firm or a bit more on the softer side, the longer you cook it the softer she goes (but it'll go mushy if too long):
I like pasta and penne, sometimes fresh spinach fettuccine if you can get your hands on it from a market, top it off with ground Grana Padano and it'll taste absolutely fuckin mint!
You can also use this recipe to do a Lasagne.
Flavour will vary depending on ingredients used of course, you'll get better results with minced Topside from a butcher and San Marzano tomatoes than you will with generic shit like IGA's beef mince (which is probably all the offcuts and assholes and other gross shit minced up together) and what ever is in those tomato cans off the shelf.
But even with the generic ingredients this goes alright and it will impress if you've only experienced the bullshit sold in restaurants.
Thanks for reading, if you enjoy this no doubt we shall meet in hospital in the near future, us wog types either kark it at 60 or live to about 125, to keep this chain going I nominate these three gents to enlighten us with their majestic culinary skills:
@pornorun - Our lovely ABC gent in chat, when he isn't in PP chat he is rolling the dice at the lovely establishment known as Crown Casino with his ethnic friends, the mighty PR loves some controversy, has an unhealthy obsession with my two assholes and is older than the hills themselves! Its estimated he is currently on his 250th lap of the sun, has lived through 46 different Chinese dynasties and is the only person to come out richer than he went in after robbing Crown Casino on the tables!
@tonythegreat89 - The 'evil catholic CIS-gendered racist white male' of PP (not @Mortein, the other one!) loves fake tits bigger than my ego, like the lovely @pornorun he is also a Crown Casino fanboy and loves rollin' the dice more than his own mother, he is known for the crazy overnighters and spends most of his time on Twitter retweeting pictures of food when he isn't in a massive sausage fest with 600 other dudes mining in remote Australia.
@Borg Unplugged - Is known to cook up a storm! Loves a night out with the lads for dinner, strippers and parlours, this legend's first thread he started on PP caused a MASSIVE shitstorm on Twitter, big enough to rival North Korea's nuclear testing! An experienced punter with many reviews under his belt, according to Twitter, the unplugged one 'hates women' more than @FrancoCozzo1935 (TA), @Bongo and @tonythegreat89 combined!
My first week was done and dusted. In my humble opinion, I think I fucking KILLED IT.
I had spent the week watching (not literally, you sick fucks) and learning all about this kick ass job I just scored myself.
But what I had seemed to have forgotten was my “outside” life. I had a boyfriend, let’s call the dickhead Alex*. Alex and I were in a tough place to begin with, it didn’t help that I got a job and “forgot” to mention to him what it actually was. Or that I even had a job at all...
He asked me one day where I had been. I told him I was busy with uni and “can’t chat, bye babes”. I ended all our conversations abruptly. Quite frankly, I was done with him. I was mostly in love with my new job and his existence seemed to pale into insignificance.
I started work one Friday night at 7pm. I was on until close (5-6am). With a “normal job”, this would be considered a ‘grave yard shift’ but that isn’t the case with brothels. In fact, it’s the opposite. My new home was pumping. I put it down to the fact that I was in charge and I am so good, I could sell ice to eskimos.
Around 2am, it slowed down a bit and I had a moment to plunk my ass down and check out my Facebook. I had received a message from a girl, Jessica*, who claimed her sister (Sarah *eyeroll*) was sleeping with Alex.
A part of me was like “HIP HIP HOORAY!” and another part of me wanted blood. I needed advice.... and what better place to get that than a brothel FULL of hookers? Amirite?
“Ah fuck him, torch his fucking car!” One shouted from across the change room. “That’s what I fucking did. Showed him, ay?”
I laughed. I also considered it for a few brief seconds.
“No... I need something else” I said, now talking to about 8 different girls.
The ideas and suggestions were.... well..... different. I’m not entirely sure I expected an appropriate answer from any of them.
Ivy, who ended up being one of my closest friends, suggested I “get back at him”. “I dunno, fuck his dad... or his brother. Or both.”
As the hours went on, I found myself getting angrier and angrier. They say there’s two kinds of people. Those who “flight” and those who “fight”, it’s safe to say I was a fighter. It would almost be abnormal to get no reaction from me in this type of situation and I’m surprised Alex didn’t know that. Or maybe he did.
So Mrs. Gutter mouth over here got to work: I sent probably the most abusive message to this girl that I think, even to this day, was the worst I’ve ever written. I was almost out of control. It was sent. Done.
So as the sun rose and it was time for me to leave work, I felt a sense of regret. Why would I push this girl away? If she wants Alex, quite frankly she can have him. I over reacted but hey, it felt good at the time.
I stopped into the shops on my way home and just so happened to run into this girl’s father. Peter*. As soon as he saw me, he stormed over to me, as a papa bear would protecting his young, and he cut sick at me. I understood because the tirade of abuse I sent this guys daughter was absolutely ruthless. I let him have his say and even though I was so fucking tired, I was able to snap back into work mode and sweet talk him. That’s the funny thing when dealing with men all day, you learn about them and you learn how to talk to them so well that they’ll like anything you say.
My conversation ended with Peter apologizing for his daughter’s actions. I gave him my number and explained that next time, maybe he can shoot me a phone call or txt if shit goes pear shaped. He agreed and we went in opposite directions. I trotted off to bed, I was fucked.
48 hours later..
I was sitting on the couch at home when I received a txt message.
“Hey it’s Peter, what are you up to? X”
To be continued....
Generally speaking, some weird shit goes down in brothels. I know.... I’m just as shocked as you are.
I walked in early to start my shift. The changeover is usually pretty straight forward. While we sat there behind the desk discussing random brothel related shinanigans, a client creeped over from the outside area.
“Do you ladies have any fruit?”
I jokingly told him I don’t eat fruit because I’m more of a bucket of fried chicken type girl.
He wasn’t even half as amused as I was.
“Okay then, do you have any vegetables?”
I’m thinking to myself, Mate; I’m running a brothel, not a fucking fruit and veg market, are you on crack?
He continued.... “I was hoping to find a lady who would be willing to use the fruit or veggies on herself”
Okay so by this point, I had gathered he wasn’t hungry... but rather he wanted a girl to put food inside her vagina...
It was at this moment I realised that nothing really shocked me anymore. I didn’t even flinch. “Have you intro’d the girls and asked them if that’s something they offer?” He hadn’t. “Well that’s a good start.”
Crystal sort of galloped up to me in the change room about 2 minutes later “This guy is loaded and all he wants is for me to put fruit in my vag. I don’t have any though, do you have any?”
Was I wearing a sign on my head “I got fruit, please help yourself”?
I quickly decided that I’d pop up to the shops and get some items to help my fellow lady. I honestly had no idea what kinds of fruit are used in this situation so I stood in the fresh food isle puzzled as shit.
Cucumber! Yes! That looks... umm... like it would go well on my sub. What the hell was I doing? I was completely out of my depth.
I decided I would grab one of everything. I couldn’t go wrong that way.
Apples, bananas, cucumber, watermelon - you name it, I had it in my trolley.
I returned back. I carried four bags full of fruit and veg from the car inside to a waiting horny man and keen hooker.
I dropped the bags in front of them and told them to “enjoy”.
This guys eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. Off they went, due back in two hours time.
I was busy eating my hand delivered Nandos (cheers Travis) when all of a sudden, Crystal appeared. A mere 20 minutes after she had gone up. She hands me the watermelon and says “Can you cut this up into smaller pieces? He wants to eat it out of me”
Again, not shocked. Because I am a trooper and I would rather not ask questions, I walked to the back and begun cutting watermelon without hesitation.
I again found myself completely out of my depth though. I was trying to in vision what size pieces I should cut them into and whether or not the pieces were too square? Wouldn’t that hurt? Anyway...
I handed her a bowl of cut watermelon and off she went.
Instances like this one would happen more often than not. Perhaps just in different variations. I will one day tell the story of a man who liked to put gummy bears in his fore skin and have them eaten out....... but today is not that day.
Wow I totally forgot about this blog!
Umm I was already sussing out lacey and nymphette, may as well add little evie jones into the mix if we're being totally honest and have a trio of spinners.
Daisy sugarbabe that used to flood the local pages? there were a couple including kendall and Ivy, all had the same rates and what have you. Surprised there were some who offered sex as the sugarbabes would normally only do erotic massage.
Frontpage, please say it ain't so...
Yer nice BLOG. I too am a TS fan and see them about 30% of the time. The other times are 30% I see Cis-Female escorts for sex and the last 30% I see massage girls for some relaxing fun and then a HJ.
Overall I think the good TS are better than women SW, and the bad TS are worse than women SW - so when I find a good TS I'm usually booking her and not trying new ones.
Thanks for your story.
I'm a man who has always been submissive in sex, but found it very difficult to find a woman who understands the dynamic that enables this type of relationship to happen.
it's encouraging to hear a woman speak of this type of sexual encounter with any care or understanding.